Lately, I've decided to challenge myself as a writer and force myself to write at least one thing a week. Between the last 2 weeks I've written 4 things! That's a lot for someone who has been stuck in Block Mode for the last 2 years. I definitely have cracks and chunks falling off the block that is keeping me trapped. So excited! If you are a creative spirit then you know how this is. We push and push and push to create something, anything! And when it finally happens it's such a relief!
Anyways...here is something i did the other night. I call it a "Tiny Story". Much shorter than a short story. They give you just a small tiny glimpse of a moment in the person's life. Just a moment. Almost like a picture. You will probably never know what happened before nor after the moment. All you get is this little piece to chew on. That's how these little pieces of joy come to me. Any and all comments are welcome!
One Last Time
7/13/2015
Laying my hand on your face I whisper in your ear "can you feel that? Do you hear that? Ssssshhhh..."
You don't understand what I am saying but you stay still as I cover your mouth with mine.
You know what that is?
It's the feeling of you losing me.
You know what that sound is?
It's the sound of me leaving you.
Because you don't understand how much I could love you.
You don't see what is right here in front of
you...on a silver platter.
You don't feel how much I could enhance your life...every second I am around.
I could give you everything you need AND want.
I am that person who will breathe life into you when you can no longer stand.
Give you strength when you are weak. Give you love when you feel
unlovable.
That is me. This is me.
But you...you can't feel that. You can't see that.
I brush the sides of your cheeks waiting for you to hear me as I burn these words into your chest.
But you don't. You never will. And for that I am truly sorry. Because you made me so happy.
You gave me smiles beyond the sun. And I cherished the moments we were together.
Every second. I thought we were on this path together but I was wrong.
And I have grown tired of giving you chances to see me as I am.
To love me, as I am. To take me into your soul and make me yours.
So I'll lay here a little longer. I have no energy for a fight. I have no energy to explain why this will be the last time. I'll let you believe I will be back.
Let you feel like you can keep taking me for granted.
I will let you relax in my arms one last time.
For when I leave...I won't look back...I won't wonder "what if?".
I already know what the "what if" is and it's not what I want. It's not what I deserve. It's not what you deserve. You are not good enough for me and I am too good for you.
So enjoy my love one last night. For you poor boy, will
never feel it again.
copyrighted A. Albert 2015
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 9, 2015
My (Frustrated) 2 Cents
So much is happening lately and i find myself just frustrated with the state of people's reactions to many of these things. We are somehow getting dumber by the day and it's just EVERYWHERE!
Here are my thoughts on some things happening.
- Bill Cosby. Ok...so...ok. I am not one of those people to think, "oh he never would do that, he is a good and honest man who would never ever be so evil." Yeah no. But i am also not someone who thinks "yep he did it, dirty old perverted man!" The only people that know what went on, are him and the people in the room. That's it. Done and done. I honestly, don't care if he did or didn't. Oh no! How can you be so insensitive? He is a predator! He deserves to be punished! Really? You believe that with all your heart, this old man needs to be punished? I'm not condoning drugging women on any level, get that right. I just don't believe all the stories. I don't believe all these women. And i don't believe a celebrity of his status and age needs to be dragged through the mud for something THESE WOMEN didn't report till 20, 30, 40 years later. If it was such a big and traumatic event, why not say anything when it happened? You carried all this, all these years? He can't pay you shit ya know. And too much time has passed for you to get a trial. So really...why on earth are you just doing this? I think they just want to tarnish his career. But you forget....his career is pretty much cemented in our entertainment world, so sure it's an asterisk or dark smudge but those of us who grew up watching him, will always love him as Dr. Huxteble and a great entertainer. So yeah, go ahead be all "bad bad old man" all you want but it's not going to change the past and I doubt it's going to make the so called victims feel any better. Just move on already. You waited this long to speak out...you can no go back to whatever you were doing and leave the man alone sheesh.
- Bruce Jenner. Yeah that guy or woman...whichever. Fine, be a woman. Go through all the changes and things and be the person you have felt you needed to be after all these years. I don't care. What pisses me off about all this is the blatant display of it all. You had to not just transform but you had to do it with the whole world watching? Because ya know, this isn't a personal journey at all. It's a journey you need to get paid for. Don't act like i'm not right. I am all for people being who they want to be. You can be whatever you want as long as it's not hurting anyone else. But to just unapologetically use the media and your followers to show off this journey is disgusting. If he wasn't connected to the K family, he wouldn't have even done it so publically! Most transgender people don't go around like a got damn peacock telling everyone "look at me, i have a vagina or a penis now! Look at me, i'm doing this serious change and i need the whole world to know about it! Look at me! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!" That's what pisses me off so much about all this BS! The full on LOOK AT ME about it all. And what happened? We ate that shit up like it was the last bottle of water in the desert. We made it everything and so much more. It became THE THING and we played right into it. Oh but let us not forget Kim is preggers, Kourtney and Scott are broken up and Khloe is just becoming another Kim. These people have us eating out of their hands and filling their bank accounts with every fucking move they make and it's sickening. Go be you Bruce/Cait, whoever you are. But seriously, do it without the cameras because for as many fans as you have, there are twice as many people who don't care.
- Gay Marriage. WOOHOOO!!!!! I love all the love and rainbows and all this happiness happening behind this battle won! It's a beautiful thing when 2 people truly want to spend forever together and the nation says, do it! Alas...people are taking their religious beliefs and trying to shove it down everyone's else's throats by denying these love birds everything from cakes to wedding licenses. Why do you hate marriage so much? Why do you hate love so much? Why do you want people to be miserable like you so much? If you truly have an understanding of your Christian beliefs then you should love everyone no matter what they do or who they matter. The absolute basis for Christianity is LOVE! Love everyone! Even your enemies. Even the weirdo who wears big bird underwear at age 40. Love him....maybe at a distance but love him still. If he is free to wear his big bird underwear, why can't people be free to marry and have fabulous weddings?! OH and the people yelling the loudest against the new law are the ones who have THE BEST SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSETS!! I mean....seriously! I am having the best popcorn and tea sipping time ever learning about these people who won't make a cake for the gay couple. Like.....it's a cake! They aren't asking you to watch them do a gang bang! They just want cake! CAKE!! WHY ARE YOU DENYING PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO HAVE CAKE?! No religious faith says "they can't have cake if they sleep with someone of the same sex". NOT ONE! They aren't inviting you to the wedding either. You know why you didn't get an invite? Because you won't let them have cake. That's what you get! BOO YOU! BOO TO ALL OF YOU HATERS!! I hope you don't ever get cake ever again! And if you do, i hope the person who made it spit in it because they know how stupid and mean you are!
- Ben Asshat as Batman (Tatum as Gambit too). He should not ever be Batman. Period. He got the job because he gives good head to the right people. He will never be Batman to me. He will never be good at it. He can kiss my ass! Also...kiss my ass again! I am a HUGE Batman fan. This whole thing is a huge slap in the face! It's like WB and DC just couldn't find anyone else do they gave it ot the latest Oscar winner. And for the record, i don't think he deserved that Oscar either. How the fuck does Asshat get an Oscar before Dicaprio?! I am so over all of this shit it's not even funny anymore! He will destroy the franchise! Bale should've been the last Batman. We don't need ANOTHER BATMAN MOVIE! We don't even really need Batman to show up in other movies either. If anything, do a younger Batman and show us how he became so skilled and awesome and redo the villians that Clooney and Kilmer messed up! Give us something we can sink our teeth into, like Nolan did. Stop revamping and making him look like the terminator or Batdroid! Now, as for Channing Tatum being Gambit....WTF IS THIS NOISE?! Again...can we not find another actor who is more skilled and suited for the role? We just gotta keep pulling the IT GUY so girls will be into it? Is that what you are thinking casting directors? Because this is bullshit! Real Fan Girls are not liking this choice at all. He can't even pull off the accent. He will forever look like a jock frat guy with that stupid look on his face. How am i suppose to believe he is a mutant? I can't. I won't. I will not see either of these jerks in either of these movies. And it sucks to say that because i love me some Batman and Gambit but i will not support this nonsense. And i swear on a stack of mint condition comic books if they do another got damn origin story Spiderman, i am going to shoot a puppy! Ok no i won't but i will smack any of my friends who support it. Why can't DC just stick with making Superman better and let Marvel handle all other superhero movies? Because seriously....they do the damn thing brilliantly! Hell Chris Pratt would do a better job at being Batman than Asshat and i'd see him do it repeatedly!! Oh man...Jurassic World was everything and then some! We need more of that...and less of these half assed remakes, reboots and prequels!
- Plus Sized Women Being Awesome. The fact that this has become a trendy thing kind of annoys me. Mainly for the fact that it's taking people this long to speak out about what real women look and feel like. It's taken this long for designers to make fashion that isn't got damn ugly for women who are bigger than a size 10. It's taken this long for people to stop being so ignorant to the fat shamming we do every single day to women. Not to mention slut shamming too. We are just shamming women all over the place and it's taken this long for people to really understand and see it and support NOT shamming. (I won't go into Slut Shamming though because that's a whole other topic and i have my own thoughts about it that would make for a better solo post) Big can be beautiful. Healthy is even better if you ask me. I don't care if you are 300lbs or 100lbs, if you are healthy that's what matters! And why on earth are we still calling a size 12 woman "Plus Size"?? We are just a size 12. We are not PLUS SIZED! And if you say SUPER SIZED I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS! All women are beautiful no matter what size they are. The fact that we for so many years have held the thin and not curvy on a pedestal for so long is what needs to be shamed. The fact that we keep feeding young girls this bullshit that "thin is in" is what needs to be shamed. The fact that we have created the illnesses Anorexia, Bulimia and Obesity is what needs to be shamed! We did this to ourselves AND THEN we turn around and shame the hell out of everyone who doesn't look exactly how we think they should. Because ya know, every body is the same and every single person needs to look the same across the board...that is what life is all about...looking, being, feeling the exact same. Fuck that. I am what society calls "plus size", but i never thought of myself as such. I got rolls and jiggly parts. I got stretch marks and a yummy booty. I got all the parts of nice thick woman basically. And guess what, it never defined who i was, nor did i let anyone define me by my weight. And if i ever heard anyone shamming me for my size, i told them where to go real fast. Women are awesome in every shape. That's what we need to be talking about...how awesome women are PERIOD. Fuck her size, she is woman...she is awesome, end of story.
Think i'm done...for now :)
Here are my thoughts on some things happening.
- Bill Cosby. Ok...so...ok. I am not one of those people to think, "oh he never would do that, he is a good and honest man who would never ever be so evil." Yeah no. But i am also not someone who thinks "yep he did it, dirty old perverted man!" The only people that know what went on, are him and the people in the room. That's it. Done and done. I honestly, don't care if he did or didn't. Oh no! How can you be so insensitive? He is a predator! He deserves to be punished! Really? You believe that with all your heart, this old man needs to be punished? I'm not condoning drugging women on any level, get that right. I just don't believe all the stories. I don't believe all these women. And i don't believe a celebrity of his status and age needs to be dragged through the mud for something THESE WOMEN didn't report till 20, 30, 40 years later. If it was such a big and traumatic event, why not say anything when it happened? You carried all this, all these years? He can't pay you shit ya know. And too much time has passed for you to get a trial. So really...why on earth are you just doing this? I think they just want to tarnish his career. But you forget....his career is pretty much cemented in our entertainment world, so sure it's an asterisk or dark smudge but those of us who grew up watching him, will always love him as Dr. Huxteble and a great entertainer. So yeah, go ahead be all "bad bad old man" all you want but it's not going to change the past and I doubt it's going to make the so called victims feel any better. Just move on already. You waited this long to speak out...you can no go back to whatever you were doing and leave the man alone sheesh.
- Bruce Jenner. Yeah that guy or woman...whichever. Fine, be a woman. Go through all the changes and things and be the person you have felt you needed to be after all these years. I don't care. What pisses me off about all this is the blatant display of it all. You had to not just transform but you had to do it with the whole world watching? Because ya know, this isn't a personal journey at all. It's a journey you need to get paid for. Don't act like i'm not right. I am all for people being who they want to be. You can be whatever you want as long as it's not hurting anyone else. But to just unapologetically use the media and your followers to show off this journey is disgusting. If he wasn't connected to the K family, he wouldn't have even done it so publically! Most transgender people don't go around like a got damn peacock telling everyone "look at me, i have a vagina or a penis now! Look at me, i'm doing this serious change and i need the whole world to know about it! Look at me! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!" That's what pisses me off so much about all this BS! The full on LOOK AT ME about it all. And what happened? We ate that shit up like it was the last bottle of water in the desert. We made it everything and so much more. It became THE THING and we played right into it. Oh but let us not forget Kim is preggers, Kourtney and Scott are broken up and Khloe is just becoming another Kim. These people have us eating out of their hands and filling their bank accounts with every fucking move they make and it's sickening. Go be you Bruce/Cait, whoever you are. But seriously, do it without the cameras because for as many fans as you have, there are twice as many people who don't care.
- Gay Marriage. WOOHOOO!!!!! I love all the love and rainbows and all this happiness happening behind this battle won! It's a beautiful thing when 2 people truly want to spend forever together and the nation says, do it! Alas...people are taking their religious beliefs and trying to shove it down everyone's else's throats by denying these love birds everything from cakes to wedding licenses. Why do you hate marriage so much? Why do you hate love so much? Why do you want people to be miserable like you so much? If you truly have an understanding of your Christian beliefs then you should love everyone no matter what they do or who they matter. The absolute basis for Christianity is LOVE! Love everyone! Even your enemies. Even the weirdo who wears big bird underwear at age 40. Love him....maybe at a distance but love him still. If he is free to wear his big bird underwear, why can't people be free to marry and have fabulous weddings?! OH and the people yelling the loudest against the new law are the ones who have THE BEST SKELETONS IN THEIR CLOSETS!! I mean....seriously! I am having the best popcorn and tea sipping time ever learning about these people who won't make a cake for the gay couple. Like.....it's a cake! They aren't asking you to watch them do a gang bang! They just want cake! CAKE!! WHY ARE YOU DENYING PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO HAVE CAKE?! No religious faith says "they can't have cake if they sleep with someone of the same sex". NOT ONE! They aren't inviting you to the wedding either. You know why you didn't get an invite? Because you won't let them have cake. That's what you get! BOO YOU! BOO TO ALL OF YOU HATERS!! I hope you don't ever get cake ever again! And if you do, i hope the person who made it spit in it because they know how stupid and mean you are!
- Ben Asshat as Batman (Tatum as Gambit too). He should not ever be Batman. Period. He got the job because he gives good head to the right people. He will never be Batman to me. He will never be good at it. He can kiss my ass! Also...kiss my ass again! I am a HUGE Batman fan. This whole thing is a huge slap in the face! It's like WB and DC just couldn't find anyone else do they gave it ot the latest Oscar winner. And for the record, i don't think he deserved that Oscar either. How the fuck does Asshat get an Oscar before Dicaprio?! I am so over all of this shit it's not even funny anymore! He will destroy the franchise! Bale should've been the last Batman. We don't need ANOTHER BATMAN MOVIE! We don't even really need Batman to show up in other movies either. If anything, do a younger Batman and show us how he became so skilled and awesome and redo the villians that Clooney and Kilmer messed up! Give us something we can sink our teeth into, like Nolan did. Stop revamping and making him look like the terminator or Batdroid! Now, as for Channing Tatum being Gambit....WTF IS THIS NOISE?! Again...can we not find another actor who is more skilled and suited for the role? We just gotta keep pulling the IT GUY so girls will be into it? Is that what you are thinking casting directors? Because this is bullshit! Real Fan Girls are not liking this choice at all. He can't even pull off the accent. He will forever look like a jock frat guy with that stupid look on his face. How am i suppose to believe he is a mutant? I can't. I won't. I will not see either of these jerks in either of these movies. And it sucks to say that because i love me some Batman and Gambit but i will not support this nonsense. And i swear on a stack of mint condition comic books if they do another got damn origin story Spiderman, i am going to shoot a puppy! Ok no i won't but i will smack any of my friends who support it. Why can't DC just stick with making Superman better and let Marvel handle all other superhero movies? Because seriously....they do the damn thing brilliantly! Hell Chris Pratt would do a better job at being Batman than Asshat and i'd see him do it repeatedly!! Oh man...Jurassic World was everything and then some! We need more of that...and less of these half assed remakes, reboots and prequels!
- Plus Sized Women Being Awesome. The fact that this has become a trendy thing kind of annoys me. Mainly for the fact that it's taking people this long to speak out about what real women look and feel like. It's taken this long for designers to make fashion that isn't got damn ugly for women who are bigger than a size 10. It's taken this long for people to stop being so ignorant to the fat shamming we do every single day to women. Not to mention slut shamming too. We are just shamming women all over the place and it's taken this long for people to really understand and see it and support NOT shamming. (I won't go into Slut Shamming though because that's a whole other topic and i have my own thoughts about it that would make for a better solo post) Big can be beautiful. Healthy is even better if you ask me. I don't care if you are 300lbs or 100lbs, if you are healthy that's what matters! And why on earth are we still calling a size 12 woman "Plus Size"?? We are just a size 12. We are not PLUS SIZED! And if you say SUPER SIZED I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS! All women are beautiful no matter what size they are. The fact that we for so many years have held the thin and not curvy on a pedestal for so long is what needs to be shamed. The fact that we keep feeding young girls this bullshit that "thin is in" is what needs to be shamed. The fact that we have created the illnesses Anorexia, Bulimia and Obesity is what needs to be shamed! We did this to ourselves AND THEN we turn around and shame the hell out of everyone who doesn't look exactly how we think they should. Because ya know, every body is the same and every single person needs to look the same across the board...that is what life is all about...looking, being, feeling the exact same. Fuck that. I am what society calls "plus size", but i never thought of myself as such. I got rolls and jiggly parts. I got stretch marks and a yummy booty. I got all the parts of nice thick woman basically. And guess what, it never defined who i was, nor did i let anyone define me by my weight. And if i ever heard anyone shamming me for my size, i told them where to go real fast. Women are awesome in every shape. That's what we need to be talking about...how awesome women are PERIOD. Fuck her size, she is woman...she is awesome, end of story.
Think i'm done...for now :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)