I am so very tired of people passing along scare tactics involving food. Stop trying to scare me into eating healthy! Yes, we all know chicken nuggets from McD's are evil. We all know it's probably some weird thing they do with chicken to make the shapes. But seriously...most of us have been eating them since we were kids and guess what...we are still here! In fact, we are SO ALIVE AFTER EATING THEM, some of you are ranting about how unhealthy and evil they are! Would you look at that pot and kettle...they match very well don't you think :P
It's getting out of hand really. People are losing common sense when it comes to the logic of food and the processes it goes through to get to our mouths. Yes, wash all your fruits and veggies, even if they come in "pre washed" packages. That's just common sense! But please, stop telling me all the evil chemicals they MIGHT be using to clean and colorize my food. There is no need to show me cows being slaughtered to try and convince me to not eat meat or eat free range products. Because if you're like me, it won't affect you AT ALL. I'm not sorry when i tell all you scarey food truths people, I don't give a fuck! There is no amount of horrible animal slaughtering videos, weird meat before and after pics, or insane detailed listings of what's really in my cereal that will stop me from eating what i want to eat. Maybe that was harsh but it's reality.
I am the same person who would own a mini pig as a pet and call it bacon and tell it how "yummy" it's relatives are AND STILL love it all the same with no shame or remorse! And i wouldn't dream of eating it! Is that wrong? Did I hit a nerve of humor or anger there? If you even smiled at that thought, you can't judge me, period.
I just saw another food scare thing go around on someone's FB about baby carrots being parts of unused adult carrots that weren't the best in the bunch and mutated together to make them baby form and intense food coloring to make them look bright orange and delicious. Seriously? It's easy to believe these half true and half false stories. But instead of believing it instantly, you should do your research which is generally a Google search away. Oh look what i found http://www.snopes.com/food/tainted/carrots.asp How odd this information only took me 3 minutes to get and share. Oh the wonders of the interwebs! *eye roll* As i said before, duh, wash your fruits and veggies and you will be fine! Hell you can even go to one of those fancy "all natural tips" sites and find natural ways to wash them if faucet water is just too scary to deal with.
Don't get me started on "natural" products either! Hey if that's your thing, by all means, do you. But stop trying to scare me into eating your "natural" tomatoes versus my store bought ones.
Hey, i'm all for Farmer's Markets and eating healthy and not running to fast food heavens every day. I am all for eat what you love, however you love to eat it. Food is good. Food is awesome. But like with everything else, food needs to be done in moderation. Eating a Big Mac every day is just downright stupid. Especially if you find yourself having health issues. Don't blame McD's for your stupidity. Blame yourself! You went there and bought it and ate it...repeatedly. WE ALL KNOW the dynamics of food and how some can kill you faster and others can make you live longer. We all know what to do, to live better. Just because you don't eat meat or you eat gluten free products doesn't make you a superior human being. It doesn't make you a healthier one (in some cases) either (studies have proven this, don't jump on me about this). But to honestly go on and on about how bad bacon, cheese, cake, caged chicken etc. is, is just annoying and pointless. You can't save everyone from themselves. You can't save all the animals either. Don't worry about anyone but yourself and your kids (if you have any) when it comes to your food. Just as dog and insects is a fancy meal in some countries, cows and chickens are daily meals here in the USA. But most of you wouldn't go over to those other countries and dare shame them for eating a Grasshopper now would you? Exactly.
Food wasn't meant for us to be gluttons with. It was meant to nourish us so we can go about our lives happy and not dying so fast. What i put in my mouth (HA) is my own business. What you put in yours is your own business. I really appreciate those of you who keep your diet ideals to yourself and don't put your agenda on the rest of us. I wish more people were like that. Hell, I eat giant burgers right in front of my vegan friend while she has tofu and weeds and guess what, we couldn't care less! And when she splurges and has a piece of my real awesome cheesecake ice cream, I don't give her shit about it. Why should i?
Now, i'm off to have an Egg Nog shake with my Bacon Burger! GOOD EATS!
PS...For the record, i have a fairly healthy diet and i eat my fruits and veggies regularly. So don't think I'm some super fat chick being angry because i keep getting shamed for my weight or something like that. Nope, that's not me. I am just a lover of food no matter how it's made.
Nov 21, 2013
Sep 24, 2013
Give Respect to Get Respect
Those of us who work with the public, whether it be in retail, food industry, transportation, help desk, hospitality etc. deserve respect from you...the public at all times. In a way we are like the nurses of the working world. Do A LOT of the leg work and our superiors get all the credit, yet we still keep plugging along (i'm not implying we save people's lives...well some do but yeah, don't get all technical with me about the nurses comparison, ok, cool.) Completely unsung heros in your every day life. Just take a moment and think about all of the people you ask to do something for you and they do it with no issues and thank you for visiting their place of work. I mean think about how many times you go to Starbucks or similar place every week. And think about that person who knows who you are, always gives you a smile and amazing service and doesn't ask for anything in return...ever.
Yeah.
No matter where you encounter a Customer Service representative, you do it almost without thinking about all that we endure on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. And to those of you who DO understand what we go through, THANK YOU! Because we definitely don't do it for the money!
I can't speak for all CSR's but I can say this...to some degree we all enjoy working with the public. No matter how utterly mind numbing, head banging against the wall annoying and stressful it is, we do enjoy it on some level. I say you have to be a bit insane to willingly work with the public. Because in and of itself the definition of insanity (paraphrasing) is doing something repeatedly hoping for a different outcome each time. We go to work, smile, say hello/welcome, answer your questions, help you in any way we can and thank you for abusing us AND to come do it again ANYTIME! Who willingly does that? The Customer Service Rep does!
Your title might be barista, bank teller, housekeeper, front desk, administrator, help desk agent, flight attendant, policy representative, sales associate, cashier, waiter/waitress, police officer, security, fireman, radio host, bartender, concierge and the list goes on and on! No matter what the title is, you serve the public. We go through all the same issues with all the same annoying people together. We have really bad days and we have really good ones, but mostly we have just "meh" days. Thankful they are over, not completely looking forward to the next one but still plug along.
What is my whole point in all this? My point is to show you the people you take for granted and demand things from every single day, exactly how you want it, when you want it and NOW. Some of them will save your life but yet, some of you will even fight against that. Hell...let me back up...any of us could save your life! There are procedures in place at public places that all workers must train for, in case of emergencies. So that "little girl" you think can't take your order right or the guy who can't make your coffee exactly the same every time or the "jerk" who tells you to turn your cell phone off at the start of a flight or the "all you are is a secretary" who can't answer you right away due to all the phones ringing...could very well save your life if something goes down and you are too caught up in your own little world to notice your life is in danger. We are trained to keep calm in the face of danger and to make sure YOU are safe...not just us, but YOU. We sign a piece of paper saying we will put your lives ahead of our own. We do that for a job that doesn't pay us nearly enough and for rude, disrespectful, arrogant people who don't know how to treat a fellow human being.
I am not talking about all customers, clients, guests etc. Just the rude ones...you know who they are, you might be one of them.
I get very upset when people don't respect those of us who serve the public. I don't care if we are just a cashier or flying a got damn plane, there is NO NEED to be rude to us! I don't care if you had a bad day and want your fancy coffee super hot and get it at average heat...there is no need to talk down to us. No need to call us foul names. No need to belittle what we do. No need to expect miracles when you don't deserve them. Throwing a fit, making a scene and acting like a 5 year old doesn't make YOU look any better, nor does it make US want to help you any more. All it does it make you look like a Class A jackass. It also makes US more inclined to stress which leads to bad habits, which could lead to serious medical issues.
A quick story and then I am done. At one of my former jobs, a customer insisted she "borrow" a couple of my associates to help her to her car. After explaining to her I could call security and they would be more than happy to help her, she demanded I do it because she spend all this money and bla bla bla. I let her rant and rave and repeated myself about security. She then demanded to see the Supervisor. Well...I was the Supervisor, so of course she didn't like that bit of news haha She walked over to a few of my associates and tried to convince them to help her to her car. They all knew we didn't do this service, so they all declined. She stomped around, telling other customers how rude we were and I just giggled to myself because the woman looked ridiculous! I had one of associates call security to help her with her bags...she was getting out of my store one way or another. When they showed up she thought she was going to be removed from the store due to her antics. I explained to her how the lovely gentlemen were going to help her to her car. She insisted on having my boss' number, which i supplied to her and then told me I should be fired for my behavior. I told her to have a great holiday!
The woman didn't return for months. She did however give my boss an earful about how she was treated. My boss talked to me of course and unfortunately took the customer's side, but that didn't surprise me. I got written up and life went on. When the woman did return to my store, she was shocked to still see me working there. Even more so, still as a Supervisor. She of course ignored me and got help from another perosn haha Fast forward to early this year, i am at a new company and still dealing with crazy people just on a larger scale. The woman who demanded i be fired, comes into my store and is just all smiles and life is beautiful, towards me. She says I'm so lovely to help her and all that. I just smile and keep it pushing. But every single time she comes in, she asks "where do I know you from?" and I tell her "i don't know, but people ask me that all that time, I have one of those faces i think." We laugh and she spends money on things she doesn't need and i tell her to have a good day. She still doesn't remember where she knows me from. And i will never remind her. I personally can't stand her...she expects to be catered to all the time and I don't have any time to do that.
The moral of the story...of the post? You can be rude to us, you can call us out of our names, you can throw all the tantrums you want, but it doesn't make you better for doing so. And try as it might, it doesn't break all of us down. We stand tall, we keep fighting the good fight and we keep serving the public with a smile. Why? Like I said, we are a little bit crazy. If we snap on you, put you in your place, stop you mid tantrum explaining to you why you need to act like an adult and treat people like human beings don't you dare act like we are in the wrong, because YOU started this, not us. We don't ask for much...just some respect, do that and we can make every single day awesome for you.
*jumps off soapbox like a ninja*
Yeah.
No matter where you encounter a Customer Service representative, you do it almost without thinking about all that we endure on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. And to those of you who DO understand what we go through, THANK YOU! Because we definitely don't do it for the money!
I can't speak for all CSR's but I can say this...to some degree we all enjoy working with the public. No matter how utterly mind numbing, head banging against the wall annoying and stressful it is, we do enjoy it on some level. I say you have to be a bit insane to willingly work with the public. Because in and of itself the definition of insanity (paraphrasing) is doing something repeatedly hoping for a different outcome each time. We go to work, smile, say hello/welcome, answer your questions, help you in any way we can and thank you for abusing us AND to come do it again ANYTIME! Who willingly does that? The Customer Service Rep does!
Your title might be barista, bank teller, housekeeper, front desk, administrator, help desk agent, flight attendant, policy representative, sales associate, cashier, waiter/waitress, police officer, security, fireman, radio host, bartender, concierge and the list goes on and on! No matter what the title is, you serve the public. We go through all the same issues with all the same annoying people together. We have really bad days and we have really good ones, but mostly we have just "meh" days. Thankful they are over, not completely looking forward to the next one but still plug along.
What is my whole point in all this? My point is to show you the people you take for granted and demand things from every single day, exactly how you want it, when you want it and NOW. Some of them will save your life but yet, some of you will even fight against that. Hell...let me back up...any of us could save your life! There are procedures in place at public places that all workers must train for, in case of emergencies. So that "little girl" you think can't take your order right or the guy who can't make your coffee exactly the same every time or the "jerk" who tells you to turn your cell phone off at the start of a flight or the "all you are is a secretary" who can't answer you right away due to all the phones ringing...could very well save your life if something goes down and you are too caught up in your own little world to notice your life is in danger. We are trained to keep calm in the face of danger and to make sure YOU are safe...not just us, but YOU. We sign a piece of paper saying we will put your lives ahead of our own. We do that for a job that doesn't pay us nearly enough and for rude, disrespectful, arrogant people who don't know how to treat a fellow human being.
I am not talking about all customers, clients, guests etc. Just the rude ones...you know who they are, you might be one of them.
I get very upset when people don't respect those of us who serve the public. I don't care if we are just a cashier or flying a got damn plane, there is NO NEED to be rude to us! I don't care if you had a bad day and want your fancy coffee super hot and get it at average heat...there is no need to talk down to us. No need to call us foul names. No need to belittle what we do. No need to expect miracles when you don't deserve them. Throwing a fit, making a scene and acting like a 5 year old doesn't make YOU look any better, nor does it make US want to help you any more. All it does it make you look like a Class A jackass. It also makes US more inclined to stress which leads to bad habits, which could lead to serious medical issues.
A quick story and then I am done. At one of my former jobs, a customer insisted she "borrow" a couple of my associates to help her to her car. After explaining to her I could call security and they would be more than happy to help her, she demanded I do it because she spend all this money and bla bla bla. I let her rant and rave and repeated myself about security. She then demanded to see the Supervisor. Well...I was the Supervisor, so of course she didn't like that bit of news haha She walked over to a few of my associates and tried to convince them to help her to her car. They all knew we didn't do this service, so they all declined. She stomped around, telling other customers how rude we were and I just giggled to myself because the woman looked ridiculous! I had one of associates call security to help her with her bags...she was getting out of my store one way or another. When they showed up she thought she was going to be removed from the store due to her antics. I explained to her how the lovely gentlemen were going to help her to her car. She insisted on having my boss' number, which i supplied to her and then told me I should be fired for my behavior. I told her to have a great holiday!
The woman didn't return for months. She did however give my boss an earful about how she was treated. My boss talked to me of course and unfortunately took the customer's side, but that didn't surprise me. I got written up and life went on. When the woman did return to my store, she was shocked to still see me working there. Even more so, still as a Supervisor. She of course ignored me and got help from another perosn haha Fast forward to early this year, i am at a new company and still dealing with crazy people just on a larger scale. The woman who demanded i be fired, comes into my store and is just all smiles and life is beautiful, towards me. She says I'm so lovely to help her and all that. I just smile and keep it pushing. But every single time she comes in, she asks "where do I know you from?" and I tell her "i don't know, but people ask me that all that time, I have one of those faces i think." We laugh and she spends money on things she doesn't need and i tell her to have a good day. She still doesn't remember where she knows me from. And i will never remind her. I personally can't stand her...she expects to be catered to all the time and I don't have any time to do that.
The moral of the story...of the post? You can be rude to us, you can call us out of our names, you can throw all the tantrums you want, but it doesn't make you better for doing so. And try as it might, it doesn't break all of us down. We stand tall, we keep fighting the good fight and we keep serving the public with a smile. Why? Like I said, we are a little bit crazy. If we snap on you, put you in your place, stop you mid tantrum explaining to you why you need to act like an adult and treat people like human beings don't you dare act like we are in the wrong, because YOU started this, not us. We don't ask for much...just some respect, do that and we can make every single day awesome for you.
*jumps off soapbox like a ninja*
Sep 23, 2013
The Gentlemen
People these days capture moments with cameras and share them with the world instantly. They must constantly tell the world how they are living their life. It doesn't happen as much as i would like it too...i guess that's what makes each time it DOES happen that much more special and unique. Unplugging, being MIA, just enjoying the space and company you are in, not bothered by anybody else, a mini vacation from life...i love it.
Oh the joys of knowing a gentlemen. Someone who has charm, humor and a view of life beyond his facebook page. Someone who values the person in front of him for who they are, not what they can do for him. The guy who is very popular but will make time for you and only you, making you feel like the oh so special person in his life...even if you aren't. The guy who not just listens to you, but hears what you are not saying and allows you to either "go there" or not. Either way, you feel comfortable on all levels with him. He does the chivalry thing without missing a beat. Asks how you are, because he genuinely cares about your well being. He will be there when you need him, even if he is across the country or across the globe. And he will make you feel like he is right next door. Whether you are having a drink, seeing a movie or just chillin in a random cafe in a random place, he will naturally make sure you enjoy your time together. Even if you are just friends, you know you have a solid one in the gentlemen.
My faith is restored in men almost daily, thanx to the gentlemen I know. They aren't just attractive, cool guys who wear fedoras and know how to put on a good suite and tie here and there. They are real, honest, men. They pull no punches, don't use smoke and mirrors and tell you what's what anytime you ask. I've realized, gentlemen are good soul people. They attract a lot of attention from both sexes but don't give it away freely. You sort of have to have a connection on a deeper level to stay within a gentlemen's circle. To not be forgotten in the throngs of people clamoring to know them. They know, no strangers. It's fascinating to watch them in action with people everywhere they go. It's very easy for them to put others at ease, make them smile and make a new friend, so to speak. They aren't pompous or alpha unless truly necessary and even then, showing their dominance, is usually for situations it must occur. But once the situation is over, they are back to their cool selves and keep it pushing.
Why do women love a gentlemen so much? If there was a clear and easy answer I would say what it is...but there isn't. It's not black and white at all. What it is though, is exciting. A woman...a REAL WOMAN, knows a gentlemen when she see's him a mile away. We can almost smell it! Even if he is a "gentlemen in training" we just know it's there. I have witnessed "mini gentlemen" as well. They are little boys who are charming and sweet and love to make his mom, grandmother, sister or any female of that matter, smile and laugh. Now, they don't always grow up and stay gentlemen but that usually depends on the parents. Gentlemen don't have a particular look or way of dressing or hair style. They don't all hangout together either. They don't frequent the same places too often...unless it's a coffee house or neighborhood bar, but even then, they cast wide nets no matter where they live. I know gentlemen in flip flops, uniforms, suits and Star Wars shirts. They come in all shapes and sizes. They aren't a dying breed, trust me...they aren't. And they really aren't hard to get the attention of. The good soul of a gentlemen seeks out other good souls. So be yourself, be genuine and be real. Even if you think they are out of your league, I'm pretty sure you have something within you that will connect with them. And don't get it twisted, they have a naughty side to them that very few know, but when you know...you KNOW ;)
Like I said, I've been honored to know and be around gentlemen from all over and of all types. I have them in my family and definitely have them in my inner circle. I feel special when I am with them. I know I am in good hands, good company and my life is better for knowing them. I try to do the same for them in return and let them know as often as I can, how much i appreciate them being who they are. I ego stroke a gentlemen often haha And if he is a real gentlemen, he will take it humbly, might crack a "i know" joke but really, they are thankful for such a compliment. Also, it keeps showing them that they are appreciated for who they are in a massive sea of jerks, pricks, douche bags and assholes.
Gentlemen...they are MOST good.
Oh the joys of knowing a gentlemen. Someone who has charm, humor and a view of life beyond his facebook page. Someone who values the person in front of him for who they are, not what they can do for him. The guy who is very popular but will make time for you and only you, making you feel like the oh so special person in his life...even if you aren't. The guy who not just listens to you, but hears what you are not saying and allows you to either "go there" or not. Either way, you feel comfortable on all levels with him. He does the chivalry thing without missing a beat. Asks how you are, because he genuinely cares about your well being. He will be there when you need him, even if he is across the country or across the globe. And he will make you feel like he is right next door. Whether you are having a drink, seeing a movie or just chillin in a random cafe in a random place, he will naturally make sure you enjoy your time together. Even if you are just friends, you know you have a solid one in the gentlemen.
My faith is restored in men almost daily, thanx to the gentlemen I know. They aren't just attractive, cool guys who wear fedoras and know how to put on a good suite and tie here and there. They are real, honest, men. They pull no punches, don't use smoke and mirrors and tell you what's what anytime you ask. I've realized, gentlemen are good soul people. They attract a lot of attention from both sexes but don't give it away freely. You sort of have to have a connection on a deeper level to stay within a gentlemen's circle. To not be forgotten in the throngs of people clamoring to know them. They know, no strangers. It's fascinating to watch them in action with people everywhere they go. It's very easy for them to put others at ease, make them smile and make a new friend, so to speak. They aren't pompous or alpha unless truly necessary and even then, showing their dominance, is usually for situations it must occur. But once the situation is over, they are back to their cool selves and keep it pushing.
Why do women love a gentlemen so much? If there was a clear and easy answer I would say what it is...but there isn't. It's not black and white at all. What it is though, is exciting. A woman...a REAL WOMAN, knows a gentlemen when she see's him a mile away. We can almost smell it! Even if he is a "gentlemen in training" we just know it's there. I have witnessed "mini gentlemen" as well. They are little boys who are charming and sweet and love to make his mom, grandmother, sister or any female of that matter, smile and laugh. Now, they don't always grow up and stay gentlemen but that usually depends on the parents. Gentlemen don't have a particular look or way of dressing or hair style. They don't all hangout together either. They don't frequent the same places too often...unless it's a coffee house or neighborhood bar, but even then, they cast wide nets no matter where they live. I know gentlemen in flip flops, uniforms, suits and Star Wars shirts. They come in all shapes and sizes. They aren't a dying breed, trust me...they aren't. And they really aren't hard to get the attention of. The good soul of a gentlemen seeks out other good souls. So be yourself, be genuine and be real. Even if you think they are out of your league, I'm pretty sure you have something within you that will connect with them. And don't get it twisted, they have a naughty side to them that very few know, but when you know...you KNOW ;)
Like I said, I've been honored to know and be around gentlemen from all over and of all types. I have them in my family and definitely have them in my inner circle. I feel special when I am with them. I know I am in good hands, good company and my life is better for knowing them. I try to do the same for them in return and let them know as often as I can, how much i appreciate them being who they are. I ego stroke a gentlemen often haha And if he is a real gentlemen, he will take it humbly, might crack a "i know" joke but really, they are thankful for such a compliment. Also, it keeps showing them that they are appreciated for who they are in a massive sea of jerks, pricks, douche bags and assholes.
Gentlemen...they are MOST good.
Aug 28, 2013
The Dream Is Alive
This will be my one statement about the whole MLK Jr. Anniversary today.
I am so very thankful that not just my parents and grandparents but YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS believed in The Dream, enough to make sure WE (you and me sitting right here reading this) lived a life NOT SEPARATED. NOT closed off from one another. NOT in fear, anger and hatred for others just because of our skin tone. I am so very PROUD that my grandparents thought well enough to move from Arkansas where my mom was born and head on over to California to have a better life for them and future me! Same with my family in Chicago, Georgia, Kansas, Texas, Arizona, Nevada etc. Not too many generations behind me, they knew it would be best for them to leave such small mindedness behind and make a better life and future for all of us.
Your family did the same thing. They choose to leave places and take root somewhere else for their dreams. They raised your parents and your parents raised you to not be so small minded and closed off from people. They taught you to love one another based on character and not color, creed or religion.
Look at your friend's list. You have a rainbow of people from all over as your friends! YOU BROKE THE CYCLE! You continue to do so every single day too! You are nice to people no matter what their background. You are respectful. You care for them. You love them. You teach them through your actions. You kill them with kindness even when they are rude and don't deserve such things. YOU are the living embodiment of King's Dream! YOU MY FRIEND! MY FAMILY! MY PEOPLE!! You further The Dream message with how you raise your kids. You teach them equality and love for all no matter WHO the person is. You teach them just as your parents taught you. YOU FUCKING ROCK THE DREAM!
I am so very very VERY proud (damn it, i'm tearing up now lol) to say my best friends are Hispanic, Japanese, Black, White, gay, straight, fat, skinny, short, tall, smart and even slightly stupid (haha). So very proud to be able to walk down the street head held high and get the respect I deserve and have earned. I am so very proud that every single fucking day, I know somehow, somewhere I silenced a stereotype! You do it too! Whether you know it or not, you do! And you should be just as proud!
It's still a long road ahead of us to make MORE of an impact than we already have. But we are going to keep doing it as long as we keep living and teaching others how to open then eyes, hearts and minds to what is truly right. But I believe with all my being, that we are on the right track! And I am so very fucking proud to be apart of it with you all!
*drops the mic*
I am so very thankful that not just my parents and grandparents but YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS believed in The Dream, enough to make sure WE (you and me sitting right here reading this) lived a life NOT SEPARATED. NOT closed off from one another. NOT in fear, anger and hatred for others just because of our skin tone. I am so very PROUD that my grandparents thought well enough to move from Arkansas where my mom was born and head on over to California to have a better life for them and future me! Same with my family in Chicago, Georgia, Kansas, Texas, Arizona, Nevada etc. Not too many generations behind me, they knew it would be best for them to leave such small mindedness behind and make a better life and future for all of us.
Your family did the same thing. They choose to leave places and take root somewhere else for their dreams. They raised your parents and your parents raised you to not be so small minded and closed off from people. They taught you to love one another based on character and not color, creed or religion.
Look at your friend's list. You have a rainbow of people from all over as your friends! YOU BROKE THE CYCLE! You continue to do so every single day too! You are nice to people no matter what their background. You are respectful. You care for them. You love them. You teach them through your actions. You kill them with kindness even when they are rude and don't deserve such things. YOU are the living embodiment of King's Dream! YOU MY FRIEND! MY FAMILY! MY PEOPLE!! You further The Dream message with how you raise your kids. You teach them equality and love for all no matter WHO the person is. You teach them just as your parents taught you. YOU FUCKING ROCK THE DREAM!
I am so very very VERY proud (damn it, i'm tearing up now lol) to say my best friends are Hispanic, Japanese, Black, White, gay, straight, fat, skinny, short, tall, smart and even slightly stupid (haha). So very proud to be able to walk down the street head held high and get the respect I deserve and have earned. I am so very proud that every single fucking day, I know somehow, somewhere I silenced a stereotype! You do it too! Whether you know it or not, you do! And you should be just as proud!
It's still a long road ahead of us to make MORE of an impact than we already have. But we are going to keep doing it as long as we keep living and teaching others how to open then eyes, hearts and minds to what is truly right. But I believe with all my being, that we are on the right track! And I am so very fucking proud to be apart of it with you all!
*drops the mic*
Aug 15, 2013
The First Time
You know the feeling you get the first time you hear a song? How it washes over you and can either make you hate it or love it in 30 seconds?
The first time you hear a song, that is the purest feeling you will ever have about that song ever. After that, you might have the same feelings but it won't be as pure as the first time. Your feelings might change. It could become worse or grow on you. No matter what though...it will never feel the same ever again.
The thoughts that came to you while you listened may never happen again. What you related to, during the first listen, might disappear as you go deeper into the song the second time around.
I LOVE that feeling. The first listen for me is as amazing or horrible as any other "first time" experience. The chills up my spine. The hairs raising on my arms. The smile or frown that slowly creeps upon my face. That feeling of, "yes, give me more!" or "what the hell is this?" becomes stronger as the seconds click by. And when some song makes me want it to never end...well forget about it!
You could almost say, I get an insta-crush on music when it touches me, the way only music can.
When my friend introduced me to Tokimonsta "Go With It"...I got the biggest crush I've had in awhile. I instantly felt it caress all over me. It was like taking a first taste of your favorite wine or beer. The warm tingly feeling that arises from your toes to the top of your head! The overwhelming feeling to hug my friend came over me! I had to dive deeper to feed the beast, so to speak. So I looked Tokimonsta up and just had a field day listening to her tracks! I even told him, he created a Toki Monster hehehe I know cheesy but whatever! I was in music heaven :P
Sadly, there is so much garbage being churned out in the music industry, you either have to dig deep and way outside the box to find things of quality, or you go back into your library when music was good and never listen to the radio again. This is why I love NPR Music and my friend for constantly giving me new tunes to feed my soul. Love my dj friends as well who always give great tracks to download and make the days seem much better, no matter what mood I'm in.
I could go on and on about music for hours, maybe even days on end. But I won't bore you all any longer haha I will say though, I saw a twitter account about Sagittarius' that I now follow and it did say this..."ask a Sagittarius about a song they love, and you will learn very much about them." I find this to be true. At least about me that is. Anyone that has ever listened to music with me or gone to a show/concert with me knows, music is pretty much my first love that will never be replaced by any person...not even Thor. And I do LOVE me some Thor! :)
After you watch the video, definitely feel free to ask me what this song/video REALLY made me feel and I will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Here is the official video for the Tokimonsta song!
The first time you hear a song, that is the purest feeling you will ever have about that song ever. After that, you might have the same feelings but it won't be as pure as the first time. Your feelings might change. It could become worse or grow on you. No matter what though...it will never feel the same ever again.
The thoughts that came to you while you listened may never happen again. What you related to, during the first listen, might disappear as you go deeper into the song the second time around.
I LOVE that feeling. The first listen for me is as amazing or horrible as any other "first time" experience. The chills up my spine. The hairs raising on my arms. The smile or frown that slowly creeps upon my face. That feeling of, "yes, give me more!" or "what the hell is this?" becomes stronger as the seconds click by. And when some song makes me want it to never end...well forget about it!
You could almost say, I get an insta-crush on music when it touches me, the way only music can.
When my friend introduced me to Tokimonsta "Go With It"...I got the biggest crush I've had in awhile. I instantly felt it caress all over me. It was like taking a first taste of your favorite wine or beer. The warm tingly feeling that arises from your toes to the top of your head! The overwhelming feeling to hug my friend came over me! I had to dive deeper to feed the beast, so to speak. So I looked Tokimonsta up and just had a field day listening to her tracks! I even told him, he created a Toki Monster hehehe I know cheesy but whatever! I was in music heaven :P
Sadly, there is so much garbage being churned out in the music industry, you either have to dig deep and way outside the box to find things of quality, or you go back into your library when music was good and never listen to the radio again. This is why I love NPR Music and my friend for constantly giving me new tunes to feed my soul. Love my dj friends as well who always give great tracks to download and make the days seem much better, no matter what mood I'm in.
I could go on and on about music for hours, maybe even days on end. But I won't bore you all any longer haha I will say though, I saw a twitter account about Sagittarius' that I now follow and it did say this..."ask a Sagittarius about a song they love, and you will learn very much about them." I find this to be true. At least about me that is. Anyone that has ever listened to music with me or gone to a show/concert with me knows, music is pretty much my first love that will never be replaced by any person...not even Thor. And I do LOVE me some Thor! :)
After you watch the video, definitely feel free to ask me what this song/video REALLY made me feel and I will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Here is the official video for the Tokimonsta song!
Aug 4, 2013
Cream In My Coffee
So, I was going to write a long detailed post about dating outside of your race/culture. And how society still frowns on it. How I cheer just a wee bit louder when I see an interracial couple together, in love and not caring what others think. My heart skips a beat when I see a white man with a black woman. I get a little giddy at that sight. I'm fascinated when I see someone of Hispanic origin with an Asian partner. No matter what the combo is, I'm always fascinated about how they met, how their families feel about it and how they deal with the potential drama that people just want to bring into their lives.
I could go on about this for hours really. So fucking fascinating! I could talk about my first major crush on a boy at school who was white with freckles even! His name was Kurt LOL Yeah, good times!! I could talk about when i asked my mom how she would feel if i married a white boy. Her answer was simple and well put, "A good man, is a good man, no matter what his race is. As long as he is a good man to you, I don't care what he is." Oh mothers...always giving sage advice that sticks with us forever! Love them!
I could go on and on about people asking me "have you ever dated a black man?" because I guess they noticed my affinity for handsome white guys. And then them being shocked that I have and have no real issues dating black guys, I just don't meet many that I would date lol And then they want me to explain to them what is the differences and why i gravitate towards one and not the other (can you see my eyes rolling?). People want to know the details of my damn dating life for some reason. They don't "get it", whatever that means. Hell, I've done full on discussions with people about the differences. Then they want to know have I dated other cultures and I have to tell them yes, I've dated lots of other cultures and they all have a story of their own. But I don't put those experiences against their whole culture. That would be stupid and ignorant...alas people do it.
I could also talk about how I've been told by many people throughout my life, "you aren't like other black girls." (can you see my eyes roll?) Well, of course I'm not! I'm just ME. There is no one else like me and there never will be. So of course I'm not like other black girls...stop making a big deal about it already. OH and don't get me started on the "I've never been with a black woman before, what's it like?" guys! OH GOOD LAWD!! I always tell them, "Neither have I". Some get it but some don't and that just makes me sad for mankind in general lol Do I want to be someone's "first black woman" experience? Depends on the guy really. The ones that just have that freaky fantasy fetish deal about it, NOPE. The guy who just hasn't met a cool awesome black chick like myself and doesn't really care about it, sure why not. I don't want to be someone's experiment or thesis. No one wants that.
Look...i just talked about all that lol
Love is Love. Like is Like. Lust is Lust. What gets you going, is your own business. My crushes and lust objects have no color lines. My friends have no color lines. What attracts me to a person isn't just whats on the outside. Its definitely about their personality. The color of their skin or background is just another layer of them. Can we compare stories of our families and things, of course we can! I love doing that! Because somewhere there is always a common thread. Do I have high expectations for different cultures? Hhhmm yes, I do. I expect much more from a black man on a different level, than I do a white man. Not to say I don't have high standards for white men either...because I definitely do lol But it's all relative really. No matter who they are, like my mama said, he has to be a good man, period. If he isn't, i don't care how sexy he is, how much money he has or anything else. If he isn't a good man, there is no point in me thinking twice about him.
It would be nice to see, in my lifetime, people stop looking at me funny when I'm out with a white guy or some other guy who isn't black. It would be nice to be treated with respect all the time, when I'm with a black guy. It would be nice to not be judged on appearances, period. Do I think this will happen in my lifetime...probably not. But do I let it get me down and hide from the world the person I'm in love with and whom loves me? Hells no! Like I tell everyone with their own choices, that make them happy...OWN IT! You like it, I love it! Own what you love, like, makes you feel good! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Maybe one day, I will go into a much more detailed post about my preferences. Maybe, I will even do a podcast about it. Who knows. But it's definitely a topic I never get tired of talking/exploring/sharing. The world is full of amazing people, don't be afraid to mix things up.
I could go on about this for hours really. So fucking fascinating! I could talk about my first major crush on a boy at school who was white with freckles even! His name was Kurt LOL Yeah, good times!! I could talk about when i asked my mom how she would feel if i married a white boy. Her answer was simple and well put, "A good man, is a good man, no matter what his race is. As long as he is a good man to you, I don't care what he is." Oh mothers...always giving sage advice that sticks with us forever! Love them!
I could go on and on about people asking me "have you ever dated a black man?" because I guess they noticed my affinity for handsome white guys. And then them being shocked that I have and have no real issues dating black guys, I just don't meet many that I would date lol And then they want me to explain to them what is the differences and why i gravitate towards one and not the other (can you see my eyes rolling?). People want to know the details of my damn dating life for some reason. They don't "get it", whatever that means. Hell, I've done full on discussions with people about the differences. Then they want to know have I dated other cultures and I have to tell them yes, I've dated lots of other cultures and they all have a story of their own. But I don't put those experiences against their whole culture. That would be stupid and ignorant...alas people do it.
I could also talk about how I've been told by many people throughout my life, "you aren't like other black girls." (can you see my eyes roll?) Well, of course I'm not! I'm just ME. There is no one else like me and there never will be. So of course I'm not like other black girls...stop making a big deal about it already. OH and don't get me started on the "I've never been with a black woman before, what's it like?" guys! OH GOOD LAWD!! I always tell them, "Neither have I". Some get it but some don't and that just makes me sad for mankind in general lol Do I want to be someone's "first black woman" experience? Depends on the guy really. The ones that just have that freaky fantasy fetish deal about it, NOPE. The guy who just hasn't met a cool awesome black chick like myself and doesn't really care about it, sure why not. I don't want to be someone's experiment or thesis. No one wants that.
Look...i just talked about all that lol
Love is Love. Like is Like. Lust is Lust. What gets you going, is your own business. My crushes and lust objects have no color lines. My friends have no color lines. What attracts me to a person isn't just whats on the outside. Its definitely about their personality. The color of their skin or background is just another layer of them. Can we compare stories of our families and things, of course we can! I love doing that! Because somewhere there is always a common thread. Do I have high expectations for different cultures? Hhhmm yes, I do. I expect much more from a black man on a different level, than I do a white man. Not to say I don't have high standards for white men either...because I definitely do lol But it's all relative really. No matter who they are, like my mama said, he has to be a good man, period. If he isn't, i don't care how sexy he is, how much money he has or anything else. If he isn't a good man, there is no point in me thinking twice about him.
It would be nice to see, in my lifetime, people stop looking at me funny when I'm out with a white guy or some other guy who isn't black. It would be nice to be treated with respect all the time, when I'm with a black guy. It would be nice to not be judged on appearances, period. Do I think this will happen in my lifetime...probably not. But do I let it get me down and hide from the world the person I'm in love with and whom loves me? Hells no! Like I tell everyone with their own choices, that make them happy...OWN IT! You like it, I love it! Own what you love, like, makes you feel good! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Maybe one day, I will go into a much more detailed post about my preferences. Maybe, I will even do a podcast about it. Who knows. But it's definitely a topic I never get tired of talking/exploring/sharing. The world is full of amazing people, don't be afraid to mix things up.
Jul 9, 2013
Random Razz Thoughts 1
These are seriously random thoughts that have been in my head the past few days that are too numerous to post on FB without annoying my friends and too long for Twitter. So here they are...enjoy!
(this might become a regular feature if the response is good)
- I want to have an old school summer party, in someone's backyard! Like how we use to do in the 70s and 80s! Invite all your friends, bring clothes you don't care about getting wet. Pull out the water balloons, super soakers, slip n' slide! Also need Kool-Aid, Watermelon, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers! Now since we are adults we gotta have the alcohol too! And an old school boombox to blast the tunes like Summer Time! I'm serious...this needs to happen! And don't forget the weird sprinkler sprayer and water hose!!
- Have any of you ladies ever had a "good boob day"??? I know good hair days exists but what about good boob days??? I think i had one the other day. The twins looked awesome in everything! I was so proud of them lol I've heard of guys having a "good dick day", so I would assume this ideal can apply to boobs too. In fact, i'm calling it...Women can have Good Boob Days! BOOM!
- Sometimes I don't know how to stop flirting with someone. And I feel stupid when I do it at times because I know I don't have to do it anymore (they are already hooked lol) But it just happens! HOW DO I TURN ALL THIS (AWESOMENESS) OFF??!!!
- Soulmates. Do you believe in them?? I'm not sure if I do in the romantical sense. I believe in soulmates when it comes to my best friends and family I'm really close too though. I think they are the people who come into our lives to make us better people along our path. Enrich our souls. We help one another and make things better when it gets really rough. Constant support system. Sometimes these people mean more to you than your actual family. You would sacrifice for them if you needed to, without a question. Yeah...i have some soulmates, they are badass awesome too. As for the romantic/lovey soulmates...not sure I've had one of those yet. And really, it's not all that necessary i think. Mainly because I want my significant other to also be my best friend and if he is to that level of best friendness that I believe to by my soulmate then he already has achieved that goal. I get a little weird when people say "she/he is my soulmate". Maybe i'm skeptical in that field of thought just because most people who say that, have only known the person for 2 months or less lol
- Robin Thicke. MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM
- What do you do with underwear that doesn't fit right and you can't return it??? If someone has any suggestions, please let me know! I was thinking of giving them to GoodWill but is that allowed??? They are brand new so it should be ok right?? I don't know lol
- That Icona Pop song "I Don't Care" always puts me in a good mood! And NOW Robin Thicke did a sexy version of it! I got preggers watching the video. That's why I'm sharing it with you!
http://youtu.be/0xvZtSEgGyk
That's all for now folks! Do you want to see these kinds of posts again?? Let me know in the comments or message me! Thanx for reading!!!
(this might become a regular feature if the response is good)
- I want to have an old school summer party, in someone's backyard! Like how we use to do in the 70s and 80s! Invite all your friends, bring clothes you don't care about getting wet. Pull out the water balloons, super soakers, slip n' slide! Also need Kool-Aid, Watermelon, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers! Now since we are adults we gotta have the alcohol too! And an old school boombox to blast the tunes like Summer Time! I'm serious...this needs to happen! And don't forget the weird sprinkler sprayer and water hose!!
- Have any of you ladies ever had a "good boob day"??? I know good hair days exists but what about good boob days??? I think i had one the other day. The twins looked awesome in everything! I was so proud of them lol I've heard of guys having a "good dick day", so I would assume this ideal can apply to boobs too. In fact, i'm calling it...Women can have Good Boob Days! BOOM!
- Sometimes I don't know how to stop flirting with someone. And I feel stupid when I do it at times because I know I don't have to do it anymore (they are already hooked lol) But it just happens! HOW DO I TURN ALL THIS (AWESOMENESS) OFF??!!!
- Soulmates. Do you believe in them?? I'm not sure if I do in the romantical sense. I believe in soulmates when it comes to my best friends and family I'm really close too though. I think they are the people who come into our lives to make us better people along our path. Enrich our souls. We help one another and make things better when it gets really rough. Constant support system. Sometimes these people mean more to you than your actual family. You would sacrifice for them if you needed to, without a question. Yeah...i have some soulmates, they are badass awesome too. As for the romantic/lovey soulmates...not sure I've had one of those yet. And really, it's not all that necessary i think. Mainly because I want my significant other to also be my best friend and if he is to that level of best friendness that I believe to by my soulmate then he already has achieved that goal. I get a little weird when people say "she/he is my soulmate". Maybe i'm skeptical in that field of thought just because most people who say that, have only known the person for 2 months or less lol
- Robin Thicke. MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM
- What do you do with underwear that doesn't fit right and you can't return it??? If someone has any suggestions, please let me know! I was thinking of giving them to GoodWill but is that allowed??? They are brand new so it should be ok right?? I don't know lol
- That Icona Pop song "I Don't Care" always puts me in a good mood! And NOW Robin Thicke did a sexy version of it! I got preggers watching the video. That's why I'm sharing it with you!
http://youtu.be/0xvZtSEgGyk
That's all for now folks! Do you want to see these kinds of posts again?? Let me know in the comments or message me! Thanx for reading!!!
Jun 6, 2013
The Strong and The Good
Being the caring person that I am, when my friends and family start to go through things I can sometimes take on their feelings. Most times because I've been in that same situation. I'm not just sympathetic but empathetic. Which if you know and understand the difference, then you know empathy can bring up a host of feelings and emotions...resolved and unresolved. And if you are a thinker, then you know you will think about these things, analyze and try to understand the "why" of it all.
Some things are happening to good, strong people in my life right now. So, I started to wonder, why do bad/scary things happen to these good people?? Why do the good suffer? Without going too deep into this train of thought...there are tons of conversations I've had involving this thinking and it's always fun but really long and drawn out...I'm not in the mood for that right now haha
The quickest explanation I could come up with was this...
Bad things happen to good people to show their strength and be an inspiration to those around them.
Many things have happened to me in my short lifetime and I consider myself a pretty good person overall. Each thing has put me out there for others to see, witness and judge. Each situation has allowed me to not only learn and become stronger in my personal beliefs but also be a beacon of inspiration and courage to others who may not be as prepared when these things happen to them. I have been able to comfort and help those who are going through events and need support. I have been able to be there for them deeply when they thought they were all alone. I have been able to be that voice of optimism and reason. Without my experiences I wouldn't be able to be so supportive.
Some people go through things and crumble under the pressure. Never learning from their mistakes. Never being able to rise above the darkness. While others take those experiences, no matter how brutal they are and use it to become stronger in their own lives as well as inspire others. Even if someone doesn't come out alive from their situation...a good, strong person who fought till the bitter end is still an inspiration, long after they are gone. Their memory will hold strong in the hearts of those who loved them. Likewise, the person who keeps getting knocked down...struggles seem to keep coming their way...life just deals them shitty cards all at once...YET they still keep pushing forward, rising above and finding the courage to keep smiling and loving life...those people are constant reminders of strength, courage, heart and goodness. They keep inspiring no matter where they are or what is going on around them. They might not even know it, but they are someone's beacon of light and hope.
So I guess my point in all of this is, yeah, life can suck ass so much. Bad things happen to good people daily. But it's how that person handles the situation, is what counts most. They may not keep pushing forward for anyone else but themselves but they should know, in some way they are inspiring and helping someone else realize their courage as well. When bad things happen, our true selves show through. Keep your head up and know there is always someone out there ready to be your beacon of light if you can't summon your own.
Inspired by my dear friend Mo...a very wicked cool, inspiring and good guy!
Some things are happening to good, strong people in my life right now. So, I started to wonder, why do bad/scary things happen to these good people?? Why do the good suffer? Without going too deep into this train of thought...there are tons of conversations I've had involving this thinking and it's always fun but really long and drawn out...I'm not in the mood for that right now haha
The quickest explanation I could come up with was this...
Bad things happen to good people to show their strength and be an inspiration to those around them.
Many things have happened to me in my short lifetime and I consider myself a pretty good person overall. Each thing has put me out there for others to see, witness and judge. Each situation has allowed me to not only learn and become stronger in my personal beliefs but also be a beacon of inspiration and courage to others who may not be as prepared when these things happen to them. I have been able to comfort and help those who are going through events and need support. I have been able to be there for them deeply when they thought they were all alone. I have been able to be that voice of optimism and reason. Without my experiences I wouldn't be able to be so supportive.
Some people go through things and crumble under the pressure. Never learning from their mistakes. Never being able to rise above the darkness. While others take those experiences, no matter how brutal they are and use it to become stronger in their own lives as well as inspire others. Even if someone doesn't come out alive from their situation...a good, strong person who fought till the bitter end is still an inspiration, long after they are gone. Their memory will hold strong in the hearts of those who loved them. Likewise, the person who keeps getting knocked down...struggles seem to keep coming their way...life just deals them shitty cards all at once...YET they still keep pushing forward, rising above and finding the courage to keep smiling and loving life...those people are constant reminders of strength, courage, heart and goodness. They keep inspiring no matter where they are or what is going on around them. They might not even know it, but they are someone's beacon of light and hope.
So I guess my point in all of this is, yeah, life can suck ass so much. Bad things happen to good people daily. But it's how that person handles the situation, is what counts most. They may not keep pushing forward for anyone else but themselves but they should know, in some way they are inspiring and helping someone else realize their courage as well. When bad things happen, our true selves show through. Keep your head up and know there is always someone out there ready to be your beacon of light if you can't summon your own.
Inspired by my dear friend Mo...a very wicked cool, inspiring and good guy!
May 24, 2013
Water...Leave It Alone!
This is just something I have to get off my chest.
Stop trying to spice up my water with liquid sugar! What the hell is wrong with manufacturers always trying to make water cool? Mio, Crystal Light and all those other "flavor adding" little packets/bottles etc of a million flavors trying to make it seem cool to drink flavored water. Is water so boring that you have to add some flavor to it to keep yourself hydrated? Seriously? It's melted down sugar with artificial flavorings! Yeah, lets put something unhealthy in something healthy to make ourselves deal with the evils that is WATER and all of it's lack of flavor.
You want to make water more exciting? Try tea. It's 100 times more natural than any of those flavor packets that look oh so pretty when dropping into your pure water and make you feel like you aren't drinking water at all. We all know, NO ONE puts just one squirt in there. You overload it with the flavor so its down right sugary then you might as well be drinking Kool - Aid! Which probably is more healthy than those things. AND can we just be honest here, Kool - Aid is much cooler and less misleading than those other new modern flavor "enhancers". KA never made you think it was just making water better. Nope. It said, want an easy and cheap way to make your kids happy? Here, try KA, it has sugar, millions of flavors and is easy to do. BOOM!
Maybe it's because I LOVE WATER. In all its pure, unflavored glory! I don't need "coconut" added to it either to make me drink it. OH can we stop with all this "Coconut Water" mess too? This isn't NEW! This is barely original...wait, its not original. You aren't doing anything to make your water BETTER! There is no way to make water "more hydrating and healthy for you" people!! NO WAY! The only way to make water MORE anything is to just drink MORE OF IT! You want the added benefits of coconut? Go buy a coconut and drink the milk inside and eat the meat...there, you got the benefits of coconut! I LOVE COCONUTS! I whack those things open and eat them all summer long! It has NEVER crossed my mind to water down the coconut milk with water to make it "healthier". Are you serious? Let's just think about this for a moment shall we?
(Thinking)
What is coconut water? It's watered down coconut milk. But doesn't coconut milk look chalky and weird? Why yes, it does. So how does it look less cloudy in my awesome bottle? Because it's watered down hun. Ooohhhhh. Yep. Do you want to make REAL coconut water? This is what you do...buy a coconut, drill two holes in it, drain the coconut milk, cut the coconut in half, cut out the coconut meat (becareful, it can be tricky), shred/grade it like cheese, put it in cheesecloth, tie it tight and squeeze squeeze squeeze all the juice out of it as much as you can. You can even put over a cup, secure with a rubber band and let it drain overnight in the fridge. Once you've gotten all the liquid out, take a half of cup of water, mix it in the coconut milk and drink. That is the real deal...no sugars, additives, flavors or anything unnatural in it. You can't get more NATURAL than that! You don't lose any of the natural goodness either.
All of these fancy "enhanced waters" add things to water to supposedly make it better. You can't make water better, period. Sure, don't get me wrong, i love me some Vitamin Water because its a water based, flavored beverage with vitamins and electrolytes in it that i need to keep me hydrated when I'm seriously lacking in the water department. But do i think it's water? No. Do i use it as a replacement for water? No. I treat it like an extra, not a replacement. Just like athletes don't pretend Gatorade is a water replacement. It's an extra. Many athletes drink water when they aren't training and in their everyday lives.
My point in all this? Stop trying to make water something it doesn't need or want to be. Just drink it. I hear so many people say they don't like water, and that makes me sad. Because your body LOVES WATER. It NEEDS water. All these other things you are drinking are only making it MORE thirsty. You will feel such a change if you just add more water to your life and body. But hey, do what you want. Drink what you want. Just know, water doesn't need to be made better, it just needs to be drank.
Stop trying to spice up my water with liquid sugar! What the hell is wrong with manufacturers always trying to make water cool? Mio, Crystal Light and all those other "flavor adding" little packets/bottles etc of a million flavors trying to make it seem cool to drink flavored water. Is water so boring that you have to add some flavor to it to keep yourself hydrated? Seriously? It's melted down sugar with artificial flavorings! Yeah, lets put something unhealthy in something healthy to make ourselves deal with the evils that is WATER and all of it's lack of flavor.
You want to make water more exciting? Try tea. It's 100 times more natural than any of those flavor packets that look oh so pretty when dropping into your pure water and make you feel like you aren't drinking water at all. We all know, NO ONE puts just one squirt in there. You overload it with the flavor so its down right sugary then you might as well be drinking Kool - Aid! Which probably is more healthy than those things. AND can we just be honest here, Kool - Aid is much cooler and less misleading than those other new modern flavor "enhancers". KA never made you think it was just making water better. Nope. It said, want an easy and cheap way to make your kids happy? Here, try KA, it has sugar, millions of flavors and is easy to do. BOOM!
Maybe it's because I LOVE WATER. In all its pure, unflavored glory! I don't need "coconut" added to it either to make me drink it. OH can we stop with all this "Coconut Water" mess too? This isn't NEW! This is barely original...wait, its not original. You aren't doing anything to make your water BETTER! There is no way to make water "more hydrating and healthy for you" people!! NO WAY! The only way to make water MORE anything is to just drink MORE OF IT! You want the added benefits of coconut? Go buy a coconut and drink the milk inside and eat the meat...there, you got the benefits of coconut! I LOVE COCONUTS! I whack those things open and eat them all summer long! It has NEVER crossed my mind to water down the coconut milk with water to make it "healthier". Are you serious? Let's just think about this for a moment shall we?
(Thinking)
What is coconut water? It's watered down coconut milk. But doesn't coconut milk look chalky and weird? Why yes, it does. So how does it look less cloudy in my awesome bottle? Because it's watered down hun. Ooohhhhh. Yep. Do you want to make REAL coconut water? This is what you do...buy a coconut, drill two holes in it, drain the coconut milk, cut the coconut in half, cut out the coconut meat (becareful, it can be tricky), shred/grade it like cheese, put it in cheesecloth, tie it tight and squeeze squeeze squeeze all the juice out of it as much as you can. You can even put over a cup, secure with a rubber band and let it drain overnight in the fridge. Once you've gotten all the liquid out, take a half of cup of water, mix it in the coconut milk and drink. That is the real deal...no sugars, additives, flavors or anything unnatural in it. You can't get more NATURAL than that! You don't lose any of the natural goodness either.
All of these fancy "enhanced waters" add things to water to supposedly make it better. You can't make water better, period. Sure, don't get me wrong, i love me some Vitamin Water because its a water based, flavored beverage with vitamins and electrolytes in it that i need to keep me hydrated when I'm seriously lacking in the water department. But do i think it's water? No. Do i use it as a replacement for water? No. I treat it like an extra, not a replacement. Just like athletes don't pretend Gatorade is a water replacement. It's an extra. Many athletes drink water when they aren't training and in their everyday lives.
My point in all this? Stop trying to make water something it doesn't need or want to be. Just drink it. I hear so many people say they don't like water, and that makes me sad. Because your body LOVES WATER. It NEEDS water. All these other things you are drinking are only making it MORE thirsty. You will feel such a change if you just add more water to your life and body. But hey, do what you want. Drink what you want. Just know, water doesn't need to be made better, it just needs to be drank.
May 21, 2013
Drag Me Back In??
It's been a month since I last treated you all to my rantings. So much has been happening in my life and I haven't been that inspired to post anything as of late. BUT the last few days something has been on my mind.
Some of you know I use to write a column online based on dating advice. I haven't written anything in that column for just about a year now. People were always fans of it. I myself was a fan of it for awhile as well. Ultimately, what stopped me from posting aka going on hiatus was the structure I was forced to perform in. I honestly hated my subject matter, "Flirting". I felt so constricted and boxed in. I had to follow really strict rules and guidelines. Everything from length of the article to how long each paragraph could be, tagging, promoting, forcing it down people's throat basically. There was too much emphasis on promoting the site and not just my column, rather than the content in and of itself.
As a mostly creative writer, being so boxed in and smacked on the hand for every little thing is not my cup of tea at all! It was like being force fed sunflower seeds with no water or soda to wash them down with. And heaven forbid you complained about something to your "editor" which i found pretty hilarious that they even called themselves THAT! Every email i sent to her was replied in a scripted, not answering the real question at hand bla bla bla "don't forget to let all your fb and twitter friends/followers know about our great site!" way. Ever since i went on hiatus, she hasn't contacted me ONCE. In fact, i don't think she even knows I'm on hiatus! Oh well, whatever, right.
I seriously LOVE giving advice. My friends, family and complete strangers are always hitting me up for my opinions and thoughts about whatever is going on in their world. I don't consider myself a know-it-all the least bit. I do however give sound, solid advice without forcing people in one direction or not. I have lots of experience...a double edged sword in some cases...and I really don't mind sharing them with others. I also enjoy cluing lost and confused women and men on what makes the opposite sex...or same sex...tick. Perhaps it's my being able to see both sides of any situation, that makes me a go-to person? Who knows. At the end of the day i enjoy helping others any way I can. So this leads me back to thinking...maybe I should go back into my advice column???
The issue at hand is, do i want to go back to that annoying site and try to get another subject so I can cover MORE than just "Flirting" or do i branch out, create my own advice blog and forge out making my own path?? If i do make another blog, I would need people who needed advice to actually send me their questions and issues so I can reply to them in the blog! And I'm not sure people would actually do that...especially strangers. Of course though I would do this blog differently and promote it/myself and hopefully garner some following because of my solid, sound and fun advice and not just because I'm awesome and stuff.
Either way, I have the urge to write and help with my words again. Just not sure if there will be a following as well as good reason for it. I don't want to just be talking to myself. Thoughts???
Some of you know I use to write a column online based on dating advice. I haven't written anything in that column for just about a year now. People were always fans of it. I myself was a fan of it for awhile as well. Ultimately, what stopped me from posting aka going on hiatus was the structure I was forced to perform in. I honestly hated my subject matter, "Flirting". I felt so constricted and boxed in. I had to follow really strict rules and guidelines. Everything from length of the article to how long each paragraph could be, tagging, promoting, forcing it down people's throat basically. There was too much emphasis on promoting the site and not just my column, rather than the content in and of itself.
As a mostly creative writer, being so boxed in and smacked on the hand for every little thing is not my cup of tea at all! It was like being force fed sunflower seeds with no water or soda to wash them down with. And heaven forbid you complained about something to your "editor" which i found pretty hilarious that they even called themselves THAT! Every email i sent to her was replied in a scripted, not answering the real question at hand bla bla bla "don't forget to let all your fb and twitter friends/followers know about our great site!" way. Ever since i went on hiatus, she hasn't contacted me ONCE. In fact, i don't think she even knows I'm on hiatus! Oh well, whatever, right.
I seriously LOVE giving advice. My friends, family and complete strangers are always hitting me up for my opinions and thoughts about whatever is going on in their world. I don't consider myself a know-it-all the least bit. I do however give sound, solid advice without forcing people in one direction or not. I have lots of experience...a double edged sword in some cases...and I really don't mind sharing them with others. I also enjoy cluing lost and confused women and men on what makes the opposite sex...or same sex...tick. Perhaps it's my being able to see both sides of any situation, that makes me a go-to person? Who knows. At the end of the day i enjoy helping others any way I can. So this leads me back to thinking...maybe I should go back into my advice column???
The issue at hand is, do i want to go back to that annoying site and try to get another subject so I can cover MORE than just "Flirting" or do i branch out, create my own advice blog and forge out making my own path?? If i do make another blog, I would need people who needed advice to actually send me their questions and issues so I can reply to them in the blog! And I'm not sure people would actually do that...especially strangers. Of course though I would do this blog differently and promote it/myself and hopefully garner some following because of my solid, sound and fun advice and not just because I'm awesome and stuff.
Either way, I have the urge to write and help with my words again. Just not sure if there will be a following as well as good reason for it. I don't want to just be talking to myself. Thoughts???
Apr 22, 2013
I Get It...We All GET IT!
This is just a random little something that has been on my mind for a while now. (side note...is it just me or do other people giggle and take a pause when they say "a while" because of that Family Guy episode?)
I know people love to be in love and share their love with everyone, everywhere, all the time. That, I truly do get. But all this mushy, baby, love you so much, sleeping right next to him/her, best boyfriend or girlfriend in the world etc. thing is becoming a bit annoying. No, I'm lying. I promised I would be honest with you guys all the time...It's become very annoying.
I love all my friends and I'm happy that they are happy and so in love. But the constant posting of relationship meme's and quotes and whatever else that expresses your love for your partner is just becoming too much for me. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way but I might be in the minority, when it comes to being upfront about it.
Maybe I am old school and don't feel the need to broadcast my love, infatuation or whatever to the masses all the time. Maybe I am old school and don't want everyone knowing my business...especially personal things like my relationship. I like to keep that info close to my chest (pun intended). Where only a handful of people know what's up. Now of course I might post pics here and there and talk about the great trip we had but you won't see update after update after update about me and my "boo" ever.
I love that you are happy and on Cloud 9 so to speak. Hell I'm a romantic at heart as well. I just think that you don't have to keep shoving it down people's throats, that you are happy and in love. We know you are...if we know you, we know you are happy and it's great!
I find that younger or new couples do this A LOT! It can be wonderful to shout it from the facebook mountain top (so to speak) of your love for one another. But please, please...for all that is sane and just being cool with your friends (whom you might be ditching for this wonderful lover of yours) stop giving us play by play of your love! Am I a hater? Nope. Do your thang by all means. Just maybe realize that not everyone wants to hear about your love all the time, every status, every day. This thinking can go for people with new babies as well. I'm going to be honest again here...not everyone cares to see every 30 pics you take of your child a day. Most don't care after the first 3 for the first 2 years of your kids life either. A pic here and there, growth update, new clothes, once a month deal is fine.
I'm sure someone will be offended by this post. Guess what, I don't care! If you are a friend of mine, then you shouldn't be offended because I've always thought this way...nothing new at all. If you are for some reason offended, sounds like a personal problem that you can update your status about.
I know people love to be in love and share their love with everyone, everywhere, all the time. That, I truly do get. But all this mushy, baby, love you so much, sleeping right next to him/her, best boyfriend or girlfriend in the world etc. thing is becoming a bit annoying. No, I'm lying. I promised I would be honest with you guys all the time...It's become very annoying.
I love all my friends and I'm happy that they are happy and so in love. But the constant posting of relationship meme's and quotes and whatever else that expresses your love for your partner is just becoming too much for me. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way but I might be in the minority, when it comes to being upfront about it.
Maybe I am old school and don't feel the need to broadcast my love, infatuation or whatever to the masses all the time. Maybe I am old school and don't want everyone knowing my business...especially personal things like my relationship. I like to keep that info close to my chest (pun intended). Where only a handful of people know what's up. Now of course I might post pics here and there and talk about the great trip we had but you won't see update after update after update about me and my "boo" ever.
I love that you are happy and on Cloud 9 so to speak. Hell I'm a romantic at heart as well. I just think that you don't have to keep shoving it down people's throats, that you are happy and in love. We know you are...if we know you, we know you are happy and it's great!
I find that younger or new couples do this A LOT! It can be wonderful to shout it from the facebook mountain top (so to speak) of your love for one another. But please, please...for all that is sane and just being cool with your friends (whom you might be ditching for this wonderful lover of yours) stop giving us play by play of your love! Am I a hater? Nope. Do your thang by all means. Just maybe realize that not everyone wants to hear about your love all the time, every status, every day. This thinking can go for people with new babies as well. I'm going to be honest again here...not everyone cares to see every 30 pics you take of your child a day. Most don't care after the first 3 for the first 2 years of your kids life either. A pic here and there, growth update, new clothes, once a month deal is fine.
I'm sure someone will be offended by this post. Guess what, I don't care! If you are a friend of mine, then you shouldn't be offended because I've always thought this way...nothing new at all. If you are for some reason offended, sounds like a personal problem that you can update your status about.
Apr 10, 2013
A Good Man
I'm really tired of women saying "there are no good men" around. That is not true. It's a lie. Know how I know this? Because I know a bunch of good men and they are all on my facebook and most of them are single. So what is your excuse now?!
I am not here to stand on a soapbox about hurting a good guy and messing him up for the rest of us. Nope. Not doing that. What I am going to briefly do is tell you about a good man I knew and loved.
In the middle of a crazy young dating life, I met a good man. We became fast friends and an even faster couple. Back then FB, Twitter, Instagram and all the social medias weren't as popular. So there were never pics of us plastered all over the place. No annoying mushy status updates. Hell, we barely had cell phones! When we were together there were no distractions from these things. And only a handful of people knew about us and that was fine. Close friends saw our happiness. There was no need to post it all over the world to prove it. We went through 9/11 together. So many things happened while we were together. He set a high standard for everyone else that came after him.
He was a good man. Even after a good long year together, we decided to part ways. Never any ill will towards one another. Always supportive, protective and cared about one another. We remained friends all these years. He went on to have a beautiful family with his gorgeous wife. I was always proud of him for being an outstanding father, husband and friend.
They say, the good ones leave too soon and the troublemakers stay around forever. I am starting to believe this very much. My good friend went home to Heaven this past Sunday.
You don't get many chances to meet amazing people in this life. But when you do, you have to cherish it. Who cares if the relationship didn't last forever. Who cares if they only want to keep you as a friend and nothing more. Who cares if they came in and out of your life in a very short time. None of that matters. What matters is the time you had with them. You shouldn't forget it. Hold it in your heart. Hold them in your soul. Because when it's all over and you go on your own way, you can never get that back with that exact person.
If you have a good man in your life...friend, husband, lover etc....please please please, support them in whatever they are doing. Encourage them to keep being a good man. Watch out for them when evil bitches want to sink their claws into them, thus ruining them down the road. Love and adore them. Give them a reason to be proud of being THE GOOD GUY! It's not easy for them in this messed up superficial world. So many times are they are pressured to change who they are to satisfy everyone else. Embrace your good guys and let them know, if no one else appreciates who they are, you do and you always will.
People come into our lives for a reason. My good friend came into my life to show me what a good man is and how i deserve to be treated. I will forever be grateful to him for that. Time is fleeting, embrace the ones you love now...or at the very least drop them a fb wall post so they know you still hope the best for them.
dedicated to my dear friend Al, who is smiling up in heaven now, with the best kicks in the clouds!
I am not here to stand on a soapbox about hurting a good guy and messing him up for the rest of us. Nope. Not doing that. What I am going to briefly do is tell you about a good man I knew and loved.
In the middle of a crazy young dating life, I met a good man. We became fast friends and an even faster couple. Back then FB, Twitter, Instagram and all the social medias weren't as popular. So there were never pics of us plastered all over the place. No annoying mushy status updates. Hell, we barely had cell phones! When we were together there were no distractions from these things. And only a handful of people knew about us and that was fine. Close friends saw our happiness. There was no need to post it all over the world to prove it. We went through 9/11 together. So many things happened while we were together. He set a high standard for everyone else that came after him.
He was a good man. Even after a good long year together, we decided to part ways. Never any ill will towards one another. Always supportive, protective and cared about one another. We remained friends all these years. He went on to have a beautiful family with his gorgeous wife. I was always proud of him for being an outstanding father, husband and friend.
They say, the good ones leave too soon and the troublemakers stay around forever. I am starting to believe this very much. My good friend went home to Heaven this past Sunday.
You don't get many chances to meet amazing people in this life. But when you do, you have to cherish it. Who cares if the relationship didn't last forever. Who cares if they only want to keep you as a friend and nothing more. Who cares if they came in and out of your life in a very short time. None of that matters. What matters is the time you had with them. You shouldn't forget it. Hold it in your heart. Hold them in your soul. Because when it's all over and you go on your own way, you can never get that back with that exact person.
If you have a good man in your life...friend, husband, lover etc....please please please, support them in whatever they are doing. Encourage them to keep being a good man. Watch out for them when evil bitches want to sink their claws into them, thus ruining them down the road. Love and adore them. Give them a reason to be proud of being THE GOOD GUY! It's not easy for them in this messed up superficial world. So many times are they are pressured to change who they are to satisfy everyone else. Embrace your good guys and let them know, if no one else appreciates who they are, you do and you always will.
People come into our lives for a reason. My good friend came into my life to show me what a good man is and how i deserve to be treated. I will forever be grateful to him for that. Time is fleeting, embrace the ones you love now...or at the very least drop them a fb wall post so they know you still hope the best for them.
dedicated to my dear friend Al, who is smiling up in heaven now, with the best kicks in the clouds!
Feb 21, 2013
Um Hello???
I am so sad that we have become a society that needs to air out all our issues to the world all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year. Ok I'm not just sad, I'm upset about it. And before you start pointing fingers or raising an eyebrow at me, I am including MYSELF in this whole deal. I have let my business spill out onto social media, which makes my soul a little sad, but I have no shame admitting it. Do I have a problem like others? Not even close. I know when to shut my mouth and not put it all out there.
We can't seem to stop letting the world know how we are doing. We can't seem to stop arguing, bitching, whining complaining, emoting all over the internet. We need to let everyone know at all times on all social networks, we got issues. Well no shit! We all got issues! But not everyone needs to hear it, all the damn time! We get so caught up in airing our dirty laundry on a screen, we forget to man-up or put our big girl panties on and face the issue head on, live and in person.
When did having a twitter feud become acceptable? When did it become cool to call someone out on Facebook and have all your friends "like" your status and comment like the peanut gallery they are? When did we stop grabbing our balls and going to that person and asking, "What the hell is up with that?!" Nope, we rather create vague statuses, retweet sayings and hope the person we are talking about realizes it's for them. Really? Seriously? Is this what we have become? Scared little people, hiding behind a screen picking fights with someone just because they "liked" your boyfriend's status? Really?
We even sit in the same room, texting each other! The art of talking to someone's face and not their profile has become "the norm" and it's getting worse and worse. Will talking go the way of newspapers?? Will we just start emailing, updating, texting all of our thoughts everywhere, all the time and become mutes? Is putting your iPad, tablet, Android, iPhone laptop, kindle down so hard to do these days to actually enjoy TALKING to someone face to face or hell even over the phone?! (yes i know you need to pick up your iPhone to talk to someone but wouldn't that be a NEW EXCITING thing to try with it?!) We are more concerned about data rates/charges than we are our actual talking minutes these days. Hell i have TONS of minutes and don't even use half of them. But my reason is, I'm often in situations where i can't talk on the phone so yeah lol BUT if someone really did call me and I'm available to talk, guess what...I TALK TO THEM!
Remember when you would sit by the phone at home waiting for that awesome someone to call you? Remember the joy you got hearing their voice and falling asleep on the phone several times a night? Remember having lunch with your bestie and the great conversation you had WITHOUT updating your status as to where you are?? Remember when you could sneak out and just one person knew where you were, because location pin pointing wasn't invented yet? Remember when people came over to your house and actually knocked on your door to pick you up, instead of calling or texting you upon their arrival??? Remember the Thomas Guide?? Remember reading the Thomas Guide wrong but you found a great place to grab a burger and it was your hidden jewel for a good few months before it got popular? Remember missing a call on your home phone and listening to the voice mail and not calling back because you were doing something fun like cooking or enjoying a day at the beach? DO I NEED TO GO ON???!!!!
We need to unplug ourselves badly! We need to talk to the people in front of us with our voices! We need to deal with our issues without an audience! We need to get back to human interaction. Because at the end of the day, without human interaction we are just drones, alone, sitting in a room, waiting for something to ding or beep so we can talk to another drone, who is sitting in a room alone, waiting for something to ding or beep, so they can talk to another drone, who is sitting in a room alone, waiting....
Feb 13, 2013
Guts
I think too many of us are afraid to do things that will change our lives in some way. We over analyze and micro manage everything losing sight of the bigger picture. Yes, change is scary, it wouldn't be change if it wasn't scary. But in many cases change is good. Of course change is constant, but people tend to think negatively of change when really...in the long run...it's a good thing.
I can honestly say, I am not a huge fan of change. Well, change that makes good things or good people go away. I like routine in that sense. We all must move forward, move on and move away from something at some point. But it can be hard if we get too comfortable in the routine.
Doing something, all be it small or huge, to change your life/path is what keeps us moving. It also keeps things interesting. It makes us feel very alive. We experience these things that shake up our world some times daily. They say you should do something that scares you every day. I don't know about all that. I don't think I have enough things that scare me to do, one a day lol I strive for one a week. Sometimes we can create something that makes us scared or nervous. Other times it's something we have been afraid of for years. Either way, it's healthy and gets those things off your bucket list so to speak =)
I also believe that you should do something once a week or hell once a month, that brings you immense joy! Whether it's eating a triple scooped ice cream cone or dancing naked in your room or having a date with that special someone...do it! You have to enjoy your life. No better way than doing something you love and makes you feel oh so good from head to toe. Something that makes you smile from within, is worth doing over and over again!
It takes guts to do something that scares you. It takes guts to do something that you LOVE, especially if you are breaking out of the mold that society has created for us. At the end of the day though, you will be a better person for it. You will shake up or change how you feel about yourself and life in general. You could change your whole perspective by being gutsy. You could change someone else's life for the better by being gutsy. Whatever you do, don't sit quietly letting those things you fear keep their control over you. And don't deny yourself the things that make you feel good.
LIVE!!! Even if it scares the guts out of you lol
Feb 5, 2013
Love History
That evil little "holiday" is coming up and of course I am against it and all it's stupidity! I have always been anti-Valentine's Day person, so this is nothing new to my friends. But this post isn't about that mess. I don't think I will do one of those this year...might just resurrect an older piece because my feelings haven't changed lol
Today, I was reminded of an Ex I was with a very long time ago (if I say the years, I will make myself cry). So of course I started thinking about ALL of my Ex's and even past lovers. Side note: I LOVE using the word LOVERS! Makes me feel like an adult who has reached past the stage of saying F**k Buddies lol Actually, I only use the word LOVERS for those whom I spent a significant time with and actually cared for. The rest were just flings and I am not talking about them today...ever...ok not ever but not today :P
I am not going to name names, so don't worry, if you are an Ex or Lover of mine, your safe.
My Love History has been pretty interesting. I've had some amazing Ex's and Lovers! These are my top 10 people ya know. The ones who not only made your toes curl but gave you something much deeper and you still think of them fondly today with a wicked smile...yeah, those people :) Let me be clear with something though, some of my Lovers I never slept with and still they made it into my top 10 because of how they touched my life and raised my standards to an amazing level.
The guys I've had the pleasure of knowing on an intimate level have all given me something I needed at the time. Whether it be to show me that not all stereotypes are true about one type of guy or that chivalry is definitely not dead or that love can bloom over thousands of miles; I have taken something good from all of them. I like to think I gave them something they needed as well. Honestly, I know this to be true because even after going our separate ways, we still have a good rapport with one another that isn't just "civil". It's genuine and honest. When you realize things aren't going to work out and you both agree it's best to let go, I have learned through my vast experience, that if true friendship was in the relationship from the start, you can still manage to have that even after it's all said and done. You don't have to cut each other out of your lives completely. Of course you will need the time apart to heal, but down the road if you both still can let the good outweigh the bad, you can keep the friendship afterwards. It's not easy let me tell you that! But it's very much possible, if you try!
My Love History, has made me see what I am capable of in a relationship. What my limits are. Also, how I have grown since my first major relationship. I use to refer to myself as the Puppy Healer when it came to my dating life. I would somehow get these wounded little puppies and nurse them back to health. They would grow, mature and have their hearts become whole once again. Then when they were ready to venture out into the big world as grown dogs, they would tell me how wonderful of a friend I was and how awesome of a woman I am. BUT, in the same breath they would tell me they met this wonderful girl who does bla bla bla and is bla bla bla and they can't wait for me to meet her or tell me more about her. What? Is this happening for real? Yes...it did...repeatedly!!! I honestly, can't count how many times that happened to me and I pretty much felt like a care-taker of the brokenhearted. I was a shelter. No one wants to be a shelter! That shit is crazy and does things to your self esteem like you wouldn't believe. In the end though, as much as it hurt me, now that I look back at it, I did something good for womankind! I helped those puppies become better people and not hate the female race. I helped someone heal from some times really deep wounds and pushed them back out there to love again. Look at me...I'm the Man Whisperer!! :) Some of them went on to have great families and are still being amazing to this day. Of course there were some that fell off the wagon and are still being wounded puppies, but you can't win them all. And I certainly am not in the Puppy Healing business anymore. I've graduated to Guy Whisperer now damn it LOL My years of dealing with guys has given me a vast amount of knowledge and I am thankful for that. I know how to be the good female friend AND the fantastic girlfriend. And guess what...I can do both with one special person if he is lucky to get me ;)
I am damn proud of my Love History! Why? Because the caliber of guys in my top 10 are pretty damn awesome, so to speak. How can I say that when it didn't work out? Because no matter what happened between us, I can always appreciate, love and respect the person they are. I can look outside of what we had...be objective not just subjective about who the person is. These Ex's and Lovers of mine are...not to brag...but some are the cream of the crop! Maybe, I'm a little biased...oh well, I've earned it! I've been very blessed to not have dated or experienced true dogs, that have left me bitter towards all men. Yes, I've dated some dogs but they aren't in my top 10...no way, no how. But even the "dogs" weren't all that bad...just not on my level. We all do stupid shit, you can't hold that against someone forever if you want to be a happy person. I've never been completely smitten with the "bad boy" type so I've never had my heart broken by such. My top 10 Love History consists of men who always had a job/career, love their mothers, respect women hands down, chivalrous, manly men, adventurous, simple and complex, goal orientated and just plain good guys.
NOW WAIT! I know what you are thinking. If they were all that then why didn't it work out? Oh hhmmm? How can I put this in a short answer? At the end of the day, there was something whether it be on my end or their end that was a deal breaker, so to speak. Something made it clear, we were at the end of our time together. The Ex's and Lovers in my top 10, none of them ended due to cheating or something major like that. That's why they are in my top 10 duh! I guess, that's why I still am in contact with most of my top 10. There is no malice with them. We all make our own beds and we all have to sleep in them. If that means we can no longer be together, then so be it. But if you were a true friend to me before we got together, we can usually pull out the friendship from underneath all the rubble. If not, that's ok too. I wish you all the best still.
What is my point to all this?? I guess my point is this: No matter how fucked up or in some cases awesome your Love History is, realize that you survived it and you are a better person for it. Also realize, all this beta testing (nerdism spilled out sorry! lol) you been going through, just means you are getting closer to the real test that won't even feel like a test and will last much longer! A friend had to remind me of that recently. I had to think about this last situation I was in as half full, not half empty. I am getting closer to the next awesome relationship. We are all just one kiss and one late night conversation away from meeting our next happy place person! The past is suppose to prepare you for this person. So don't ignore it and wish it never happened! Be glad it happened and that it's the past. Because if it were your current, you would be miserable and missing out on the great person coming your way :)
If you are indeed one of my Ex's or Lovers reading this, I want to say from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!! Not sure if you are in my top 10? Here is how you know...do we still keep in touch and I haven't sent you any angry messages lately and I know who you are when you text me? Then yes, you are in my top 10 and you have permission to brag about being in some awesome chicks top 10 best Ex's/Lovers to your friends, if you so wish. I know how the male ego works ;) I thank you because you always accepted me for me. The good memories outweigh the bad. You made me smile from within during our time. You are still a good person no matter how we ended. You have changed me for the better and that is always a GOOD THING!
Jan 27, 2013
The Right People
This is geared more towards those of us in our 30s and older.
You know how when you reach a certain age you accept who you are...flaws and all?You accept the fact that you nerd out over stupid things. You have a crass sense of humor. You sometimes chew with your mouth open. You dance around like an idiot when your team wins or cry when they lose. You accept yourself completely and don't pretend to be something you are not just to please other people.
You are proud of the person you are and wave your freak flag with your head held high!!
I love that feeling!! I intensely love being who I am around anyone and everyone and not giving a damn if people don't like me. I also seriously enjoy the people who do like me for who I am. The ones that allow me to be silly without judgement. The ones who challenge me to up my game.
These are the right people to have in your corner. The right people let you be you...fucked up and all...and still have your back. The right people will love you no matter what.
So to my younger readers...don't worry about trying to be something you are not. Be you, and the right people will love you for who you are, NOT who you are pretending to be. THEN, you can join the rest of us with your freak flag =)
Jan 18, 2013
Not In Vain
There are things we don't want for people in our lives. Even if things don't go how we want them to go, there are things we don't want to happen for the sake of others happiness. At least that's how i am. Some people wish bad things on others for their own selfish reasons. I don't want anything bad to happen really. I just want their choices to be better and lead them to better things.
Alas though, i can't save everyone. Hell i can't save anyone really. They have to save themselves. They have to want to make better choices for a better life. They have to want to take a not so good situation and make better situations after that. I wish i could beat some people upside the head and stop them from doing things that make their lives harder. But i can't be everywhere either. Perhaps it's just me wanting the best in everyone to come out more often than it does. I want people to be more of the rockstar i know they can be. Yet, when they fail, in a sense, it disappoints me. Not because i wanted something from them. But because i wanted something BETTER FOR THEM.
Feels like my efforts are a bit in vain. Like no matter what i do or say, none of it matters because people are going to do whatever they want. So, when that happens and they need someone to lean on...i have a choice to make as well. Do i do the "i told you so" dance and rub salt in the wound OR do i give them a little smack on the back of the head while embracing them and letting them know, everything will be just fine and i will always be there for them?? If it's someone i am very close to, of course i embrace them...no judgement, just support. If it's someone i'm not too close too, i still embrace them without judgement but i might remove myself from their world a bit. I have found some times the best help you can give someone is pointing them in a different direction and walking away.
Being a helper is exhausting at times. Being someone with a huge heart, understanding and desire to help others is taxing on the mind, body and spirit. Some times your fails are my fails. Your pain is my pain. Your joy is my joy. Your awesomeness is my awesomeness. I truly do love being supportive for my friends and family. But i won't lie...some of yall wear me the fuck out! lol Will this stop me from doing what in some sense is my life's purpose...absolutely not. But it does mean when i celebrate life and all my awesomeness i savor every single second of it!
So if you can relate to this...being a helper, healer, taking care of people in any capacity...know you are not alone. Yes, its straining and stressful at times but if your heart is in the right place, it's very much worth it! Our hearts are big so we can give love to all those who need it. We are awesome! Just please, don't forget about taking care of yourself! YOU can't help others, if you don't help yourself. Take time for YOU...you deserve it! And seriously, when no one is looking, dance around like crazy to release the stress you are holding on your shoulders...then laugh because you look insane but who gives a fuck =)
Jan 4, 2013
Easy Peasy
I had an awesome NYE with good friends and even got a kiss at midnight! The kiss was something I haven't had in many years...at midnight I mean lol Sort of expected, but always a nice surprise when it actually happens. Also got to enjoy my best friends whom no matter where we are, its a good time!
I'm excited to spend more time with my peoples this year. I work a lot and so do they and we neglect each other for far too long. For me, that has to change this year. Even though i have tons on my plate this year, i'm making room for the ones i love.
While others are all for eating healthy, working out, getting better jobs or better relationships. I really think a easy resolution we all can put into action, is spending more time with the ones who matter. You can't live your life working and missing the fun stuff. Life is meant to be lived right? Right!
So let's try to do this simple little act. If you got a free weekend, call up that friend you been meaning to grab coffee with. Got off work early, swing by someone else's job with a sweet snack and have a blast of a break that I'm sure they will appreciate. Or if time is really, truly tight, just pick up the phone and call someone! We spend so much time typing all of our thoughts and feelings, we forget the value of having a real conversation with that person. Sure, I feel like I talk to my bestie every day and don't miss a beat in each other's lives, but when we talk on the phone or meet up for Happy Hour, it's altogether different and seems that much more special! Hugs leave a much better lasting impression rather than a million smiley faces and hearts.
Hope you all are having a great start to a new year and chapter in your life! Can't wait to see what this chapter has in store for all of us! Best believe I will share all I can...even the ugly stuff :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)