Dance!

I love Flo + the Machine! And it seems that especially around this time of year, we can get dragged down with worries and fears. We feel the weight of the world heavier for some reason. We feel all the negative.

This song stays with me all day long because it reminds me to not let ridiculous things mess up my wonderful day and view on life overall. It reminds me to not forget that yeah the devil or evil of the world is gonna try to get to me but i have the power and strength to shake it off.

No matter whats going on in your life, you should know it can be worse. Be thankful that it isn't. And tell the negativity to fuck off so you can dance and enjoy what this time of year is really about; family, friends and appreciation for the things you do have.

Besides, you can't dance with a frown on your face =)

Twi-ugh

So FX is showing Twilight 1 and i keep pausing on it to watch it. I want to know what all the hype is about. I still don't get it but here are my thoughts...

- Kristen Stewart has no emotion. She looks like she is constantly constipated, even when she tries to be happy. Her narration voice reminds me too much of Lindsay Lohan narrating in Mean Girls. Which is rather annoying because i whole heartedly believe Lindsay would have made a better and less annoying Bella. How can someone give Kristen's character the name Bella and she is anything but??

- Robert Patinson...i must say i can see his appeal. He is like the Jason Priestly of this time =) The hair, chilvary, devotion to the chick he loves...it's all there. I will admit, a very well written character who has fascinating and obsessive qualities most teen girls need to become fans of someone. I do however feel bad for thim....Edward is just a role and although it's a role that made his career, he will forever be seen as Edward until he builds up his credits as a legitamite actor. I'm sure he will be fine, just have to keep getting good roles that show his range. I'm pretty sure he can do more than we know. I don't like his high pitched voice in the movie though. It's not THAT high but it's not manly enough for me. I do however give him props for losing his accent completely.

- The part at the end where Bella wants to be "with him forever" at her prom is so fucking hilarious! It's so the typical "i don't want to be a virgin anymore, tonight is the night" prom cliche! And Kristen can't even show emotion when kissing. This chick is pathetic! I don't like the constant color to hazy blue-grey-black-white thing they did either, it was annoying, not cinema. And all the intense profile shops...wow, smh.

- Peter Facinelli was nice to see as the "father" of the pack. Cause you know, those wild teens needs direction and restraint!

- I do like that one vampire chick Alice, probably because she just looks cool.

In closing, i worked hard to not vomit while watching the little bit that i did (about the last 45mins of it). There is no part of me that could sit threw a whole series, let alone 2 hours of this anti-climatic movie(s). There was never a point where i wanted to be Bella, or wanted a guy like Edward. Sure in theory it would be cool to date a vampire but from where i come from, they suck blood and don't have the option to "control the urge". If you are gonna fall for a vampire, you better be ready to be one. Also, the angst that Bella puts herself threw makes me want to break her neck! I know, she is like 16 but come on!!!! She is super cliche too...doesn't socialize, lives in a small town, parents are apart, random dudes like her but her self esteem is so shot to hell she doesn't realize it till they chase her down or pop up in her room randomly and so on. It's classic geared for teens writing. I know some of you might think "if you were 16 now, you would probably be a fan of it"...let me tell you somethin, i would still scoff at it if i was 16...that's just me.

I don't think anything less of the Twihards or whatever they are called, i just know even after seeing a bit, i will never be into it.

ps...i just read on IMDB the whole story of the main characters all the way up to the end (last book) and yeah, anti-climatic just like i thought *snickering*

Thoughts on MJ Trial

Murray was found Guilty. I'm not surprised, i believe he is the "fall guy". I hope though that the others who are responsible get what they deserve as well, whether it be by the law of the land or by a much higher power.

Michael Jackson was a great performer but he had problems as well, and he did not get to this point (death) alone or by Murray's hands alone. There is always a group of people around celebrities that don't say "NO" to them and those people can deeply hinder and harm the celebrity by not saying "NO". Those people need to have consequences as well. They have to live with the notion of they didn't do something or MORE to help this celebrity have a better life. I don't want to go into it more but we all know, saying "NO" to someone can save their life because so many other's keep saying "YES" to them.

On another note, i really liked Judge Pastor and the head of prosecution Walgren! The DA owned this trial from beginning to end. The judge himself seemed much more personable and realistic which in this kind of case is something that was needed.

I hope people don't act as fools in celebration or being upset at this verdict. Michael Jackson was human being and at the end of the day, he died due to his own issues as well as others helping him feed those issues. Perhaps now his family and children will get some peace and can move forward. Perhaps now his fans can move forward. Perhaps now we all will take a 2nd look at doctors and remember they are human as well, therefore they will make mistakes. We just have to be careful to not put them on higher platforms than they deserve. We are responsible for our own actions at the end of the day and we must all be held accountable for the actions no matter if they have good or bad consequences.

Now let's all move on and hope for better days =)

Start to Finish

I know it's been awhile since i gave you all something to read but life gets in the way...i'm sure you understand that =)

Outside of work, i've been conducting a little experiment on a daily basis. I'm sure we all have our ipods and mp3 players constantly set to "shuffle" because listening to anything in order is just boring and it keeps music "fresh" in a sense. Well, i have decided to stop the shuffle madness and listen too all of my music from 1 to (insert insane number here). Last time i checked (last week) i had 3k songs just on my mp3 player alone lol Granted some of them are double uploads but thats only like 3% of them.

Basically, i have to listen to every song no matter what it is...even if it hurts...in numerical track order. If after i listen to it, i don't want it i can delete it but i HAVE TO listen to the whole track before deleting it forever. And i must delete all double tracks immediately. I started this experiment a month ago and i am currently in the "F" songs. I have deleted about 20 double tracks. I am currently on track #389.

The fun part is, it's almost like my player is on shuffle because i have no idea what song is coming up next. As well as, i get to play the "what song is this?" game, where i try to guess the track title by only using the previous track as a clue. I'm realizing knowing the artist means nothing in this experiment because you can get Madonna and Jimmy Eat World next to each other and unless you know the titles you have no idea what letter nor word you are on. It also shows how eclectic your musical taste truly is. It's one thing to say it but another thing to actually experience it.

I love music so this is a never ending mental pleasure trip for me. OH and if i add any new music i have to go back to the earliest letter of the newest tracks installed and start from there. So if i put "I Follow Rivers" by Lykke Li and "Be My Baby" by Vanessa Paradis in, i have to go all the way back to the "B's" and listen to Be My Baby and go from there all over again XD Which is why i have only added a few new tracks lol

So i challenge anyone out there who loves music and has a ton of it, to try this out. From beginning to end listen to all your music in track title order only! Not by artist. And see how long it takes you and how long you can handle it hehe

Remember it's the little things in life that make it interesting and memorable =)

NOT Sold

I've been absorbing much more tv lately on my days off because i'm too exhausted from work to do anything else besides shower, eat and nap. Some of the crap companies are trying to sell us is ridiculous and the ways they present it can be down right offensive!

-McDonalds commercial where the "rapper" is rapping about their new Mango Pineapple smoothie. Yes, McDonalds, when i think of hip hop i think of smoothies. When i think of smoothies i think of a hot rap concert where JayZ and Kanye promote a smoothie made by you. Yes, McDonalds, this is going to appeal to ME and all of the minorities because we all love rap music and will buy anything promoted in a hip hop video way. Thank you for speaking directly to us, because this is the only way we understand new products.

-Any of those diet pill commercials where some fake doctors and D-Class celebs promote the "awesome results" of these tiny pills. I'm not sorry when i say that ANYTHING ANY JERSEY SHORE REALITY PERSON PROMOTES I AM 100000000000000000000000% NOT GOING TO BUY!!! PERIOD! Roid raging Ronnie is not the picture of responsible and healthy life choices for a better body...i'm just saying. And the names of these doctors are so fake! Let's be real, those pills can kill a person, stop glamorizing being thin with a tiny pill cause that's not how it works!

-Popeye's Chicken...ok i am a bit partial here because i do enjoy their chicken. What i don't enjoy is this woman on the commercials talking about "my chicken is the best" bla bla bla. First off, how stereotypical is this character? Secondly, you need to stop yelling at me about chicken you don't even cook, and probably don't eat. Yes, its good but stop with all the over acted hype.

-That commercial with the white girl rapping about going back to school. SERIOUSLY?! STOP IT! BAD BAD BAD MARKETING DEPARTMENT!!!!

-Time Warner Cable, every single one of their commercials is a lie! When it works its great but when it fails its horrible and annoying! And no, its never cheaper than the competition, ever!

-Any feminine hygiene products i.e. pads, tampons, wash etc. You people are hilarious trying to make periods seem wonderful and easy to deal with. Every woman knows they don't feel like running threw a field of flowers or dancing or wearing a white bathing suit when on their cycle. Let's just be real, if you showed a woman crying, punching a wall or balled up in bed eating chocolate then had the product next to her, that would be MORE relate able and believable than any group of women dancing at a night club. I could do your job blindly!! And those little "tests" with the blue dyed water isn't fooling anyone, so stop using that as proof of how absorbent the thing is. Why do you even need to show that? Just stop lying! You are pissing us off more!

that's all for now

Fitting Room Antics

Women's fitting rooms are evil places overall but when they lock you in and smell funny its an even worse place! Last week i had a crazy adventure while trying on tons of jeans.

I like to scope out several fitting rooms in big department stores like Macy's, which is where i was for this adventure. I know just about all of them and always like to stake out a quiet room so i can concentrate on the task at hand...trying on clothes that won't fit or look funny. It seems on this day, everyone and their mother was hoarding mass amounts of clothes in all the fitting rooms and being loud and annoying. So i dragged my 10 pairs of jeans around until i found a room that was quiet and well lit.

To my delight, no one was in the fitting room at all when i got there and i had my pick of rooms! I never go in the first one, i feel its too close to the main entrance and people always knock on that door or try to get in for some reason. I like the further back rooms...like my own lil corner of the store where no one will bother me and those tend to be the cleanest ones cause they are less used and abused. So i got into one room and it was perfect! Until...the door wouldn't shut all the way. I then thought, well its just off center and began tilting it to shut. Once it did shut i tried to open it again to make sure i could get out and guess what...i couldn't!

Side note...i always, always, always look at the bottoms of dressing room doors to see if i can squeeze out under them in case the door jams. If the doors are floor length i check the top to see if i can climb over the wall/door to get out. If i can't find a way out, i will not use the dressing room period. I was always raised to think "always have a way out of any situation", so yeah.

Yep, i was stuck in the room! I began to turn the knob in all directions and pull on the door shaking the whole room like crazy! I wasn't scared but i knew i needed to try the door the hardest i could before crawling out on the floor. Finally after 8 minutes of pulling and tugging the door jarred open and i bolted to the room next to it. That door closed smooth like butter thankfully!! So i sit down to catch my breath from my "lock in" and realize there was a foul smell in that room. "OH COME ON!" i shook my fist at the ceiling in anger! It smelled like old pee, plain and simple. I tried to wait and see if i would get use to the smell and no longer smell it but the more i breathed the more nauseous i felt, so i quickly grabbed the jeans and my stuff and got out of there.

There was another set of fitting rooms not too far but when i went by there i heard kids screaming so i ignored it. Now though it was quiet so i scurried over there and only one stall was being used and it was at the front. I got to the 2nd to last one, checked the door which was fine and took a deep breath of clean, fresh, well circulated air!

Let the trying on began! Out of 10 pairs of jeans only 2 of them i really liked. One fit perfectly but the waist was so high up, it literally covered more than HALF of my torso and i'm only 5ft1 so yeah. The other pair i liked were just an inch too long but other than that a great fit. They felt like they were already broken in too, so soft and comforting. The down side was the price. I am not paying $80 for jeans, nope.

I sat down again and chilled a bit thinking about how to shorten the waist of the jeans when i heard a mom come in with her lil son. Oh joy! They got the stall next to me too! Great! My flip flops were next to the wall of the neighboring stall and just as i was about to get up and put my clothes back on i see a pair of little hands grab a hold of my flip flops!! It took everything in me to not scream obscenities at this brat! I calmly said "can i please have my shoes back?" and knocked on the shared wall. The mom was very causal about it "oh yeah here" and slid them back under the wall. I wanted to tell her "fuck you very much" but just said thank you and got the hell out of there. Now i see why her kid is a brat.

I don't know why but simple things like trying on jeans always turn out to be an adventure with me. I really wish people would stop being so lazy and take their clothes out the rooms when they are done too. Getting ready to work at Rack i know this is going to be a huge pet peeve of mine. I've worked in women's clothing before and it's always just been a "WTF?!" deal when it comes to dressing rooms. Hopefully, i there won't be too much drama but with women shopping, just about anything is possible.

Things I Can't Put on FB

I like how some of you are already thinking i am going to say the things i can't say on FB in this post lol Yeah that's not going to happen. It's really just an open thank you to my close friends for letting me tell them stuff i really shouldn't say on FB lol

1. Situations going on with my body. It's always nice to confide in someone about these things and i'm glad i have close friends i can do this with so i don't have to put it all over my wall and have everyone looking at me sideways lol

2. My love life. Yeah all that happens in it, everyone should be happy i don't post about it...it's a never ending story that even makes me annoyed some times =P

3. Random off topic shit. I have lots of these moments of random thoughts i could post about but then all of you would be really sick of me, so i don't. Some of you could take a cue from my self control in this department...im just saying!

4. Mood swings. If i posted all my mood swing happenings you would think i am certifiably crazy when i'm not THAT crazy, i just have moments of it lol

5. All the music i come across and love/hate it. Ok actually i do go on tangents here and there but from what i can tell, everyone likes it so imma keep doing it =P

What are some things YOU don't put on FB? Are you saving your friends from countless hours of hating you because they have to read all your pointless updates?

Vegas with KROQ

-Took a stalker pic of Stryker and then met him. He has really soft hands and fun, down to earth personality. Probably my first favorite radio DJ =)

-McCarren airport in Vegas has this subway to and from the gates, its awesome! I think more people in LA would use the subway system if it was like that.

-JetBlue is a really nice airlines! Everyone (even the TSA) folks were friendly and talked to you like people, not like just baggage. The free unlimited snacks and directTV was a nice addition as well. But i would suggest that they give the option of "captioning" during flights for those of us who either 1) are deaf so buying the $2 headphones would be pointless or 2) don't want to wear headphones but still want to enjoy the free tv mhm

-Thursday night when we finally got to the hotel, we changed clothes, and headed to the new Cosmopolitan hotel or Cosmo for short. Yeah, the taxi dropped us off on the opposite in if the new City Center so that walk was not fun but we made it. And then we got completely lost in the Cosmo because it's lack of proper signage in ALL DIRECTIONS! The decor is insane...giant statues of dogs and giant shoes you can take pictures in, random sparkly or victorian chandeliers and don't even get me started on the long ass corridors!!!! It took us probably almost a mile to get to the damn buffet that there were no real signs for. Even the concierge dude confused us =P But we made it to the Wicked Spoon. The food was really good and high end. The desserts were fantastic too! The dinner is $35 but worth it if you pace yourself =)

-Later Thursday night we caught up with the lovely and badass Dez who informed us we could not sleep/nap in Vegas lol So we met up for drinks at Aurora after having interesting conversation about jerks, booze and good times hehe Chilled at a lounge and had a lot of fun people watching. Guys are hilarious in Vegas, that's all i'm going to say about that! Oh yeah, we saw some hookers, wannabe pimps and even a transgender. Which reminds me, gotta hit up a gay bar next trip. We had some marvelous Blueberry Martinis there too. I would have done a Jeggermeister with Dez but i didn't want to spend anymore money haha We finally went to bed about 4am.

-We dragged ourselves out of bed and down to Nathans Friday afternoon. Then we stopped by T&T for happy hour and had a really good Sangria! After that we changed into our pool hotness and headed to the KROQ pool party. It was hot hot hot! Thank goodness for cloud cover though! We only had to be in the actual sun for about 20mins out of 3 hours. The humidity was crazy! Sunscreen melted after only 10mins so that was fun. There was a slight breeze here and there. The drinks were awesome too! The best part about the pool? The free entertainment! Stryker and DJ Jeremiah Red spun good musid and gave away some free random prizes. Then we had the"White Boy Soul Train" show! Several white boys were drunk and dancing their happy little asses off. They were rocking it so hard they had to put their drinks down to enjoy the beats lol One guy did a head stand, he was the best! We loved it! Some old guys scared us with their old man bodies in speedos *eeeewwwwwww*. A few cute guys were around but nothing really drool worthy. A few guys tried to get our attention and we just shuttered at the thought *bleh* Because of the cloud cover we stayed for Stryker's whole show and a bit afterwards. The pool was nice. I didn't get all the way in but Serena and Dez enjoyed themselves immensley. Finally we packed up when they announced the pool was closing in 30mins. Plus the thunder we heard in the distance meant some rain was coming soon.

-Serena and i were hungry so we jetted over to Mandalay and enjoyed a great Irish Pub restaurant RiRa! The atmosphere was amazing! The food was drippingly (literally) delicious! Serena and i are big foodies so this was a real treat for us! If you are in town, check it out, you won't be disappointed!

-We agreed to meet up at Cathouse in a few hours after showering and napping. Serena and i made it but Dez did not because she wasn't feeling well *aaawwww*. Cathouse is a boring club. The layout is weird and it's dark as fuck in there! They use top shelf alcohol which is fine for good drinks but for well drinks, not so much. I didn't expect to be paying $11 for a simple vodka/cranberry. It was extremely hard to see if anyone was attractive in this place. The constant flashing lights were annoying and the music was insanely loud for the small space. White girls dancing ontop of a center divider table was pretty funny for 5mins. None of them fell though *boooo* We saw Adrian from KROQ but not Stryker and really don't blame him for not being there...if he wasn't there...couldn't really see to be 100% sure lol There were only 3 hostesses in burlesque attire and that was disappointing. There were more security guards and waiters who dressed really nice and were pretty attractive...more so than the patrons. The place was mostly table service which was annoying as well. So after a few drinks, darkness and constantly annoying music we headed out. That was the first time we had been bored at a club, so sad.

-After Cathouse we headed to EyeCandy in Mandalay. Not one of our favorite places but since Rum Jungle got shut down *noooooooooooo* we figured might as well give it a shot since it was so close. At the entrance the doorman begged us to be "locals" and we couldn't figure out why. He then told us it was for "personal reasons" which led us to sort of want to know more but not really lol I felt bad for disappointing him, he was a nice guy. We did explain to him that our "local girl" was home sick so we couldn't help him out. We did a shot of Patron and attempted to dance on the small dance floor. It was full of 40+ crowd. They were bumping and grinding all night long! Serena and i were definitely not drunk enough for this experience...we really wished we were though. These white people knew all the newest him KIIS FM type songs being played. They shook their asses like they didn't have children, jobs or significant other's at home lol We even saw a few grandparents...yes, grandma and grandpa were shaking it too. We knew it was an older crowd once we realized the music was oddly low. I guess they didn't want the older crowd to leave due to hearing loss. It was annoyingly low. Which was weird since CatHouse was annoyingly loud. EyeCandy had a bigger space to let the music be louder but yeah.

-The one major incident of the night happened at EyeCandy. There was a Wolf Pack aka group of guys humping and drinking lots of girls all over the club. One of the guys kept booty bumping us by accident. He turned around and started to apologize about his big booty...his words not mine lol He was pretty cute though, so i chatted with him a bit about his big booty and he even turned around once to shake it and show it off to us. He said it was a "problem" and just couldn't help but laugh at him. It wasn't big at all. It was your typical white boy ass. His joking, bald head and pretty eyes had me distracted long enough from the rest of the Wolf Pack to even notice the 6ft1 black guy coming to swoop in and attack me! One minute i'm ready to get serious flirt on with big booty white boy and next thing i know this dude is dropping it like it's hot in front of me with his face nuzzled into my chest. His hands were running up and down my hips and on my ass. I was being violated and could barely believe it was actually happening! I thought he was just going to do that and be done but nope, i was wrong. He then grabbed my legs and hoisted me into the air, legs wrapped around his hips and humped me in the air!! He was thrusting really hard, i kept thinking "ok i know it's there! put me down!". I saw Serena behind him and she didn't know if i was enjoying it or needing her to punch him in the liver and i was too in shock to give her a proper hand signal so i just grabbed held on for dear life! I was yelling in his ear though "I'm good! ok i'm good!" but he just laughed and gave me a dirty smile and then lifted me above his head so he could put his face in my boobs once more! He slid me down, humped me one last time and then i was back on the ground. He walked away cheering to his guys and i was left distraught, violated and in complete shock. Serena made sure i was alright and all i could do was think "what would Tina Feya and Maya Rudolph do?" I don't know why i thought of them but i did and i thought, they would dance it out, so i told Serena "ok i need to just dance this off Serena, cause if i leave now i won't feel right." She agreed and we tried to dance it off. I truly believe we were both so in shock we just didn't know how to respond. I know if Michelle and/or Sonia were with us, that probably wouldn't have happened but i know the Wolf Pack would have been all over us still. They were making their rounds and attacking lots of girls...i was not the only victim lol The guy that violated me even did it to a much bigger girl and even though he couldn't get her as high off the ground as he did me, he got her off of it. I wanted to get back to talking to big booty white boy but he was enthralled by some blondie so yeah lol We danced a bit longer but go bored and decided to call it a night with EyeCandy.

-On the way back to threw our hotel, we dropped in on LAX, a supposidly hot night club. Yeah it was a big boring as well. The doormen were assholes taking 5 to 8 minutes to go over our IDs...i wish i was kidding about this! We were the only ones in line too. Finally got in, climbed up and down stairs and saw the long stretched out room and dance floor. Its another narrow layout as well. Lots of table service too. Nothing special, didn't see what all the hype was for. We didn't even buy drinks.

-The night was very random and kind of a let down outside of RiRa. We didn't finish our food there so it was waiting happily at our room for us! It was even good ice cold! We discussed how lame our night was. I was very upset about Rum Jungle being shut down. I even missed the crowded Pure. Next trip definitely NOT going to do those 3 clubs again! We crashed again about 4am.

-Saturday we packed up our things and headed to lunch before hitting the airport. Good food was had once again. If we know nothing about Vegas, we know where to eat =) Didn't get to see Dez before we left but got to talk to her and made plans to hang again as soon as possible!

All in all it was a really fun trip! Not just the fact that it was free, but the fact that we got to hit up Vegas in summer which is something we rarely ever do! I don't think i will be doing it again in the future though, its just too damn hot lol I LOVED seeing and hanging with Dez! She is such a fire cracker and doesn't hold her tongue for anyone which is exactly what i love about her! I can't wait to get back out there in December with ALL my girls and party it up for my 30th! Thanx again to KROQ and Stryker for making it a fun lil escape that i truly believe i earned! Someone up there likes me! And yes, i did gamble and won some money. I can honestly say (even though i hate the term) i was winning from beginning to end =)

Thanx to my girl Serena for coming with me! It was the least i could do for my bestest friend!!!

A Maternal Second

My good friend Maximus just had a really adorable baby whom i call Mini Maximus. This kid is already melting my heart as i see more and more pictures of him with his daddy. Also because his hardcore of a man dad is being reduced to mush by such a tiny lil human hehe I am proud and happy for Max and can't wait to see the daddy adventures!

As i looked at the newest picture of Mini Maximus, i had what i would call a weak moment but you mother's would call it a "maternal" moment. For a few seconds i thought "i want my baby to look that cute". Yeah! I KNOW! Razz had a maternal moment which is just crazy! If you know me, you are probably picking your jaw off the ground lol I don't have these feelings and i've said it over and over again "i don't have a maternal clock and i'm happy about that." or "i'm not birthing no babies!" Either way, i've been anti children all of my life...even as a child i didn't like badass kids and had to tell them or my mother "those are bad kids", which made her laugh all the time.

But yes, i admit for a second i was weak and thought about having a baby that cute and with a man that awesome. I have always enjoyed strong, hardworking men. Men who are soft and romantic on the inside but not everyone gets to see it. It takes something pretty serious to make a strong man become mush and soft. So the thought of my "future baby daddy" who will be like that (strong, hardworking bla bla bla) becoming softy and a dad and loving our child made me FOR A SECOND want that.

Then reality kicked back in. This adorable Mini Maximus is adorable at that very second...in the picture...with his father...on the monitor...with no sound...far far away. Yeah, that kid is precious in that moment. Not so much when crying, pooping, whinning, walking, talking, schooling, maturing, hormoning, humping, dating, smack talking, peeing everywhere, eating, high schooling, graduating, lazying, mooching, moving out and then back in and then back out, mooching some more, falling in love with hoes, heartbreaking and heartbroken, doing stupid stuff with friends, then maybe settling down...maybe. Yeah...i rather stare at the picture and then go back to my life without babies =)

Now, don't get me wrong, i know Mini Maximus is going to be an awesome kid. He cannot not be! His dad is awesome! And his dad won't take no shit, so i'm not concerned about him at all lol I still don't want one though. Nope, the moment's passed. And even if that adorableness somehow got attached to me and i to him and wanted to be around it more, i still don't want to birth any babies! I would love to keep the kid while he is quiet and sleeping adorably and then down the road as a teenager to tell him the ways of women and why hoes are hoes...but still don't want to birth any! NOPE!

Slips Out

Maybe i should become friends with your girlfriend so i can keep better tabs on you. No, who becomes friends with their enemies? Ok, i could but that takes more work and effort and i don't care enough to put that kind of effort into this. I rather not know her because then when i take what i want (i.e you) i won't have any guilt about it. And sense you don't feel that serious about her, it will be even easier.

Sometimes, the crazy slips out of me >=)

That Guy...

Father's Day is bittersweet for me. While i do love and cherish the guys that i know who are amazing dads and doing the right thing (my brother Quincey, my cousin Reggie, my friend Maximus, etc.) i can't actually say when i think of my own father i don't feel the need to tell him Happy Father's Day, let alone speak to him. I haven't bought him a card probably since i was 5 years old.

When i think of "father figures" i have always thought about my cousin Stephon. He was always there for me like a father/brother no matter how far apart physically we were. After him of course my grandfathers and a few other cousins who i am close too. These men, did for me what my own father should have done. They showed me what a REAL MAN is. They answered all of my questions i ever had (and i had thousands of them) about life and needed a man's perspective. These men helped me NOT have a jaded outlook on guys because of my lack of a father in my life. They helped me see that not all men are lame and fail when it comes to raising children. Not all men are spineless. Not all men pretend to be grown ass men, no they actually do it.

The other side is the women in my life (mom, grandmothers, aunts, godmother, etc.) have all been FIERCE STRONG WOMEN! They never let me feel like i was less awesome just because my father was not around. If anything they lifted me up HIGHER to make sure that i never felt anything but loved, cherished and amazing especially when my heart took big hits from my father.

That's the sweetness of this day! Knowing that i may have "lost" a father but in this loss i gained several amazing male figures and female figures in my life, that i really NEVER feel the loss. That's such a blessing that it makes me tear up! Because inspite of that dark spot in my life, the brightness i have blasts it away =) I don't get emotional over many things but this is one thing i do get emotional about because i know without these outstanding people in my life i wouldn't be where i am now. I would be another female statistic doing all kinds of wrong and having daddy issues up the wazoo! I'm super thankful!

Some people (guys) think i am too hard on them when it comes to being a father. Now you know why i am this way. Because i know exactly how it feels and i will be damned if i am going to let you get off easy after you have created a life. The same goes for women too who don't want to step up and do the right thing but that's another story for another time lol

To all the single mom's out there doing the mommy/daddy thing, you guys are my hero's! And i really hope you know that you are doing an amazingly difficult job but you do it so very well! Stand tall and be proud on this day too! You all deserve it and i love you dearly!

Funny How Life Works

It never ceases to amaze me how long i have been friends with people whom i have never met face to face. Some times i forget how they came into my life but i never forget how blessed i feel to have them in my life.

My internet life started back in 1995 and exploded in the following 3 years due to a number of factors but mostly because i got my own laptop and trolled the AOL chat rooms constantly! Yeah i was THAT NERD GIRL lol There are only a handful of people i still talk too from those first few years of internet life but the ones that are still around are and have always been amazing!

I mean let's be honest, most of our friends from when we are teenagers, fall off for some reason or another. Some times they do us wrong and other times life just takes us in opposite directions and we don't do anything to stay connected. On rare occasions though if both people are genuine and truly work to keep the friendship going, no matter what happens, you can have a very long and fulfilling bond that no matter how long it's been since you last talked or seen each other, you can pick up almost right where you left off. You learn to enjoy the little moments you have with these people. You value the history you have and continue to nourish it as you can.

Several people come to mind while i write this post. People who have touched my life in their own unique ways. And even though for all these years we still haven't met face to face, we still have a solid friendship that works. I hope you know who you are and i hope you know you are always on my mind and i miss you all the time =)

Don't take people for granted and cherish the close circle of friends you do have. The ones who accept us, flaws and all are always the best ones to keep around.

Let's Try To Stop...

1. Asking men what we rate on a scale of 1 to 10: You are a 10 no matter who you are, what you look like and all those other factors. If you yourself do not feel you are a 10 YOU are the only one who can raise that number. Don't do it for some guy who probably won't value you in the first place. Do it for YOURSELF! Do it because looking in the mirror and mildly turning yourself on is hot! Do it because confidence is much more sexier than pity. Do it because hanging out with confident people is much more fun!

2. Settling for the next thing that walks by: Men and Women settle. It's sadly apart of who we are when we are at our lowest. This desperate act isn't good for anyone. So don't settle. Even if it means not getting laid for longer than 6 months (i know its painful but it can be so very worth the wait!). Besides, when you settle, you get bored and have to break up and who wants to go through all that rubbish =P

3. Being a coward: I mean speak up for yourself and get what you want. See someone you want to talk to, do it. Ladies, buy a guy a drink or better yet, a burger! Guys, even if you think she is out of your league go for it! You have to try in order to know what will happen next. If you don't try, you will never know and yes, as cliche as it is, you will always ask "what if". So try shake off the "what if's" at least once a week and see what happens. And don't go wasting money on clothes and expensive things to try and make yourself FEEL BETTER about approaching someone, again you are awesome the way you are, so go show it off!

4. Believing the hype: Not all women are size freaks when it comes to men's packages. Not all men are size freaks when it comes to women's body type. So stop believing what the small percentage of society wants you to believe. Don't discount someone based on what your friends might think (unless they are against the person because it doesn't make YOU a better person). Let's dispel a few rumors...

-The size of a man's hands says nothing about his package! It will however tell you if he is metro, blue collard or white collard kind of guy.

-Not all black women are angry and ghetto, no matter what the movies and music videos show you. And not all of us want to be video hoes...or hoes at all.

-Not all women love accents. Even though it is hot, it doesn't mean we will drop panties for any guy with an accent...at least most of us have a little more class about us lol

-Women do judge a man on how he is dressed. It might be one of the last top 5 things we think about but it's there, so pull up your pants!

-Men LIKE to look at girls in tight, skin showing, ass and boobies out dressed women but they rarely date them for any real length of time, let alone marry them. So yes, the saying is true, "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife". Especially if you want her to stay faithful =P

-Nerds are definitely hot and sexy but not for the reasons most think. We like nerds and geeks because they generally aren't assholes. They think for themselves, get shit done and love their moms. Also, they are very laid back and have great sense of humor about life and themselves. So don't overlook that female or male nerd next time...we can be some of the best people you know ;)

-Lastly, not all women want a man with deep pockets or big bank accounts. Lots of money is nice thing to have but it doesn't make for a quality relationship and at the end of the day that's all most women want. Don't get it twisted though, you NEED TO HAVE A JOB! It just doesn't have to be Bill Gates status.

There is so much other things we as sane people need to stop doing to each other. Women have just as many hang ups as men, so we all put ourselves through the ringer. The thing we have to remember is, no matter what anyone says, you are awesome and deserve everything awesome life has to offer you. Go easy on yourself already!

WATCH, SHARE & CHECK YOURSELF OUT!

Amazing video we all should watch and share with everyone we know! I normally don't get emotional but this one gave me a few "deep breath" moments, which means its the real deal! I wish they showed this kind of stuff to us in Health class when i was 16!

Wisdom from Razz

- as we get older its natural to want something more stable, so running game gets old and pointless.

With stability comes the chance of getting hurt

- being a hopeless romantic isn't a problem, its a characteristic of you that is a good one

you just have to make sure your brain checks into the equation when looking for someone. im a hopeless romantic and i love it but im realistic and honest about what i want too, so i'm no longer falling for the idiots trying to run game.

- we tend to go back to the people we feel close and comfortable with. we have feelings for them and wish they were something they most likely will never be. Once we come to terms with this thought and own it, we are able to heal and move on and think of that person for who and what they are.

- sometimes we have to beat something to death till it clicks in our heads its over or what not. Its a decision we all have to come too on our own. We all have to consciously decide that we don't want to keep getting hurt by someone.

Stay tuned for more Wisdom from Razz =)

Didn't Flinch

You know there is a song that reminds you of someone and for a long time you would flinch whenever you heard that song. Usually spiraling down memory lane and cringing to the thought of all the bad things that happened with that person.

Then...one day...you randomly hear the song and don't flinch. In fact, you dance and sing along to it. You remember why you love the song and time has successfully disconnected it from that person. Yeah, that happened to me today when i heard "Happy Together" by The Turtles. It use to be this song a friend and i shared together. And now that we are no longer friends, i use to not want to hear it let alone sing to it because it made me sad. But not today! Today...i didn't flinch a bit and enjoyed singing the song with a giant smile on my face! That was awesome!

So don't worry, you will get there too one day...we all do.

A True Story

I feel there should be a solid truth written in here every now and then to show more of who i am (and other authors who they are) from time to time. So here is a quickie story about well...a skill i stumbled upon.

Back in the summer of 2000 i was in a relationship that had gotten really serious really fast. I was spending most of my free time with this guy. My mom liked him, we had mutual friends who approved of our togetherness and overall we had a very good time together. Alas though like some relationships i got very bored after about 6 months. Not of him, but of our activities or lack there of...indoors and outdoors...if you catch my drift lol

Anyways, being the person that i am, realistic romantic, it was always really hard for me to write love or "mushy" poems and stories. I could do sentimental things and of course dark pieces but to really pull that "love" feeling out of me and into words was damn near impossible. I always hated when people would ask me to write a love poem for their significant other. It's just something i couldn't do without days of stress; which annoyed me the most because i could do anything else within hours, sometimes even minutes!

One day though, after a long conversation with my good friend Jay, i started thinking about short stories that involved couples. About a few days of pondering and waiting for my muse, my boyfriend cancelled some plans we had (upsetting me to no end) and 10mins later i was typing away my first "adult" story. Which now of course i have come to accept being called erotica.

I honestly never set out to write this stuff. I just wrote what i wished would happen between my boyfriend and i. When i tell this to some people they think it's a reflection of my boyfriend not giving me what i needed, but really that isn't the case at all. He was/is a great person and I’ve never said anything less about him in that regard. But you also have to understand we were young. I was just starting to explore my sexy side and so i had all these wonderful thoughts of things i wanted to do and try in my head from years of reading Cosmo magazine (which no girl under 25 should be reading! I’m convinced it's just horny old women writing ridiculous nonsense!).

Whatever the reasons though, i was able to take all that energy and create worlds of pleasure, love and life in nice little packages. At the time i was pushing out about 2 solid stories and 6 outlines for new ones a week. Even a few times after being intimate with my boyfriend, after he left i would hop on my laptop and pump out a 4 pager without a break lol I was clearly inspired by my new adventures in my own life. A few months later i ended my relationship with my boyfriend because it was time to just move on. I did suffer a block because i suddenly became less active and writing about it made me feel more alone. Thankfully though that passed and i was doing my dirty lil stories once again by the fall of 2001.

I was (and still am) very shy about letting my friends know about my stories. I only trusted a handful of my friends with this information. And now well...all of you reading this know lol Back then though, i believe Jay, my brother and one other person knew of my stories and actually got to read some. I trusted Jay because he is a writer (and a dear friend) as well and i knew he would give me very honest critiques about them. My brother on the other hand didn't have much to say because it was weird coming from his little sister basically lol That i totally understood though and didn't bother him much more unless he asked for a few new ones. Time went on and i shared a few of my favorites with other people...mostly guys...and got the same reaction over and over again. All i will say is, all of my stories have been enjoyed...repeatedly lol I love how people want to praise you for things many of us have been taught to believe are taboo. At the core of all of my stories, there is a relationship. All of my characters are fictional but each female possesses a piece of my personality, while each male possesses a piece of one of my male friend's or ex's personality. Most people can't pick themselves out, even if i show them a story that has them in it. I suppose that's one of the signs of a good writer.

I am very defensive about my stories when some people try to categorize it as "smut" because it's anything but that. And I will go into greater detail about how I feel on all that in another post. Just about every story has very real love threaded through them. Of course there are some stories that are just quick and dirty because let's be honest, in real life there are quick and dirty moments...sure you might not be proud of them but damn it they happen! I really strive hard to write these stories as realistic as possible. I don't think any of my stories could not truly happen in real life. Some of them actually did...to me...but i will let you figure that out on your own lol

I remember one friend of mine telling me after reading a few stories, "aside from the raging that is going on in my jeans right now, i really like the fact that i can't tell if you have done this or not and i have known you for so long! I like how it's coming from you. Very unassuming and at times down right shocking! On a purely editorial level you have a gift for detail that some writers are missing vastly. You pretty much put the movie in their face and dare them not to watch and then dare them further not to enjoy it. Once again your gift of writing has risen to a new level!"

At the end of the day, that's what makes me proud and feel less shy to show these stories to people. Of course i am still very apprehensive about sharing them on a completely open platform like this blog. But the baby step i am taking here i believe is heading towards that direction. There are some i am really proud of that if you ask me nicely i will share with you. But don't hold your breath on anything coming out in this blog anytime soon lol

My Mama Told Me...

I find it really funny that the company i work for charges almost 3 times as much for a small bottle of lotion and shower gel when you can get 4 times as much for just $4 at say Target, Walmart etc.

There are lots of other companies using the same scents that mine does. And some of them have no shame in calling it the same exact name! Oh and it smells exactly the same! Some of them even have more attractive bottles. I always smell the competitions scents and marvel at how much you get for so much less! Sure it might not do exactly the same thing but at the end of the day it's just as good if...dare i say...better! Some really big personal hygiene companies that have been around much longer than my company are not stupid and playing their cards perfectly. I told my friend the other day while we perused Target "once i get rid of all this (company name) stuff i have, i'm definitely trying this other stuff. I mean look at it...12oz for $4!! And it smells exactly the same."

I know there is always a huge mark-up when it comes to retail. Everything from clothes to body care to shoes gets marked up so much, you almost cry when you hear the true numbers of what it takes to make the products. And you wonder why people make their own stuff. We are still in a recession, i don't care what anyone says. It truly does pay to shop around and get great deals.

Maybe it's just the shopper in me that my mother raised me to be. But i really don't like the price of what my company charges people for smaller bottles. Yet, because so many people get hooked on things without shopping around, they buy into the hype and then wonder why their pay check is gone with one purchase. Don't get me wrong, my company does supply some really amazing products...most of my faves are 3rd party products though. The self titled ones i could really care less for now. I've been around them for so long, i know the real deal, it's hard for me to give into the hype anymore. In fact i haven't bought anything from them in a long time and i'm proud of that!

I have to admit though, i do buy some super priced body care products and i have no shame in admitting it lol I am a Philosophy whore and have no issues pumping out $16 for a body wash but seriously, its 16oz so i'm getting twice as much as i would with my company's size! And i swear Philosophy's washes last a lifetime! My collection is growing and i don't plan on stopping =) I have to get my peach scent fix somewhere! My company has done away with all the awesome fruit smells and so i gotta get mine else where and the competition from Target to Sephora has no issues giving the people what they want! To me, that's real customer service.

My point is, shop around and don't think you have to be loyal to just one brand. Variety is the spice of life! Besides, isn't it about what YOU WANT and not what THEY want you to buy?

Booo Spring!!

Everyone is all getting ready for flirting and planting their seeds. Stupid tv shows about being married, single life, dating, bla bla bla basically giving you a How-To guide on being desperate. Whatever Spring! I don't need a reminder about birds and bees and my singleness!

My dear friend Sadies, said "i can picture you on a street corner in a nice neighborhood on a megaphone goin WAKE UP! IM RIGHT HERE GUYS!" And honestly, i can see that too lol I'm pretty sure if it comes to that point i have a few friends i can recruit to hold signs up lol

I am not desperate enough for that...yet. But i am definitely champoning myself as a good catch from here on out, more so...loudly and proudly =) You should do it too, if you are awesome! Think of it as an in person resume. Put your best qualities first and know that you can back up everything you offer and then some! Rock star yourself and just remember...this too shall pass.

65%

Women are notorious for settling when it comes to many things in life. We settle when it comes to not spending money on something we really want because we have to support someone else or pay someone else for something. We settle on where we live, what we eat, who we talk too, where we work and so many other things usually for the "greater good" of everyone else. We put ourselves last in almost everything we do. And for the most part when we do this, everyone knows and or sees it. Not because we want the attention but we feel people need to know what we are sacrificing for someone else to be happy instead of making ourselves happy. So we announce our feelings in hopes that someone will have mercy on us and say something to make us feel less "last place" in our own lives.

Men on the other hand, rarely settle when it comes to things in their lives. They will fight tooth and nail over which beer is better. They will research for months to find the perfect sound system, computer, phone, or anything techie. They hate bad steaks and will constantly tell you where the best steak they ever had was. They even put thought into the jeans they are going to wear for particular things (they just like to pretend they don't but they do). Men don't settle as much as women do. They don't think about the greater good as the first option...usually. For the most part they think about what is good for them AND THEN what is good for everyone else. Being selfish isn't always a bad thing.

The one thing though that some guys get a little lazy about and seem to settle is women. Some guys would rather be happy 65% of the time on a "good day" with thier girlfriend than 80% of the time every day. A guy can say his relationship is going "pretty good" and be just fine with that answer. I personally, as a woman, i really dislike that phrase "pretty good" in refrence to a relationship. That's a phrase you use for a movie that you could have netflixed instead of spent $11 for at the theater. Pretty Good is a phrase you use for a day that could have been better but you are just glad it's over.

One of my ex's (whom i still care about) would get a huge smile and glow pure happiness at the mere mention of my name. THAT is how a man AND woman should feel about their significant other. There shouldn't be any sign of "pretty good" that comes from them when they talk, think, see their significant other. I am not saying you should make your whole world/happiness revolve around them but you should feel an immense joy when you think of that person.

Some men rather deal with a girl who has a few things going for her and is easy to get, rather than a girl who has lots of things going for her and just a bit more difficult to get ahold of. They rather deal with the girl who answers all of his calls than the girl who has her own life and may not be available every time he needs her. They rather have a girl who depends on them a bit more than they are comfortable with BUT it's better than her only needing him for geniune things like loving, nice dinners and painting a room. Sure they want that girl who can handle her own drama, cook her own meals and change a tire but they don't want to work too hard to get her. They figure if they have to work at it, it's probably not worth it. So they might just keep her around as a friend and hope that she might chase him one day and THEN he will give in and make it seem like SHE is lucky to have him, when its entirely the other way around.

I am not saying all guys settle but many of them do. Women settle for men they don't need out of loneliness and desperation. Men settle for women they don't need out of laziness. There is usually someone right in front of you or in your immediate circle that adores you and would be great for you but for some reason you don't want to go for it. This is upsetting and disappointing because that person will give you everything you need but you are to caught up in other nonsense to realize it and when you do, it will be to late.

We all need to never settle for anything less than what we want and deserve. Go for that 80% or hell even 100%!! You deserve it!!!

What You Want

So there is a new poll we are taking on what you guys want to read when you come visit us here at This Close. I know we are lacking when it comes to frequency of posts but I am hoping to change that with this insightful poll! So go ahead and click some answers right over there to your right...under the WARNING notice =) And let us know what you would like to hear from us. Remember we will always write what we want to, but this could definitely help us out when we run into a loss for words lol

Also, I am still looking for another blogger to join the writing crew here at This Close so if you are interested and have a unique voice, let me know! Always looking for shameless, outspoken bloggers to share the space with =)

thanx

Razz

Stop "Winning" Please

I was over the Charlie Sheen thing after the first 5mins it started. The man is going through mental and physical issues and basically losing his mind all over the place and so many of you were cheering right along. It is a very sad situation made popular by social media and everyone who jumped on the bandwagon. Dude is not winning at all, at all.

Maybe i'm in the minority with my thinking but making money and media hype off of someone in a public breakdown is just disappointing. I hope he gets the serious help he needs before his next big media storm is his death.

Oh and poor John Cryer! He definitely didn't deserve this.

Go & Get Some!

I don't know how some women can ignore their lover's urges. Who cares if you have been together for a year or more, that doesn't mean the love making needs to become last on the things to do. Hell look at Marge and Homer Simpson, together just about all of our lives and they still rock the boat from time to time...and its Marge who get's props for that, cause i mean, Homer isn't well ya know lol

Maybe it's because i'm a giver and feel that i will always be this way. Maybe it's because i would want my guy to be happy physically and emotionally. Not to say all wives and girlfriends are with holding the goods, i'm just speaking on a few i have come across recently. I know things get in the way such as kids, work, family wtc. But if you are young and still got it, why not share it with your lover as much as you can? Like anything else i think it takes effort to make these moments happen for sure. You have to want it and make it happen. Sex doesn't just happen. Your loins don't magically just get fired up lol You gotta intiate it and for most women it starts in the brain and not in the pants like it does in guy's pants.

I love being adventerous in the loving department so its definitely a must that i have a guy who is the same way. Or at least willing to try anything i want to do, at least once. Maybe i'm a rare breed of woman. Maybe the days of getting it on with your lover whenever you want it is no longer the norm. Maybe people have become so politically correct and censored they are shutting themselves off when it comes to the bedroom. If thisis true, it's very very disheartening. I don't think people should go back to the 60s and 70s and let free love abound but come on...if you can't get wild and uncensored with your lover, what the hell is the point?

You are (hopefully) with someone whom you love deeply. You married or got into a serious committed relationship with them for a reason. I would think one of those reasons is because the loving is really good! So what has changed you so much that you no longer want or need to see this person naked and saying your name? Hell, us single people work day and night to find someone to not only say our name but who wants to make breakfast and cuddle in the morning. Don't let backhand us by not getting it on with your lover! Do you know how insulting that is to some of us single folks? Don't be a prude with your lover. Do it...do it for us single folks!

Celibacy is....

..the new black. After recently hearing this, "Having sex with you made me realize how much I missed my ex", I have decided that it's celibacy for me for until I meet a nice, attractive guy who wants to take me out and spend time with me out outside of the bedroom. Sex just reminds me of how much I miss having a relationship. When I first became single I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and freedom, but now I'm just lonely. Finally for the first time in my life I get marriage. It finally makes sense to me because life is hard and living your life alone is really hard. Having someone to share those hard times with makes it just a little better. So I'm giving up my wild youth for one of moderate adulthood (let's not get too crazy).

Love, Love

Real fast i want to clear the air...

1. I am a huge romantic and love being in love

2. I love seeing others who are truly in love, BE IN LOVE

3. I am Love's Bitch over and over again and i LOVE IT!

4. I have personally had really awesome Valentines Days with a significant other, so don't think i am anti VDay because someone broke my heart lol

Last and most importantly,

5. I am a huge fan of love, but i am not a fan of the commercialization of it, which is why i am very anti Valentines Day

If for any reason i have offended, annoyed or upset you with my comments, thoughts, opinions of anything and everything i have ever posted on FB, i can't say i am sorry, but i will say that if you take everything i say on FB that serious, maybe we shouldn't be FB friends =) And if we are friends in real life and i offend you somehow on FB then maybe we should rethink our friendship in the real world as well.

At the end of the day, i am going to be who i am no matter who likes it or not. If you don't like it or understand it, thats a personal problem.

Food Experiment #17

I am always doing random things to normal foods. I try to always "build up" any boring food to make it more inviting to eat for myself. When you hear Salad, most people are like "no way, im good" but me, when i hear Salad i think "OH what can i put on it today?!"

Food Experiment #17 is "Salad and Cereal"

Stop making gagging noises and hear me out! It's not what you think at all =P

I took a regular mixed greens salad, did my current obsession of blue cheese and a lite Cesar dressing. But i wanted MORE! So i dug deep into my fridge and found crushed almonds, SCORE! I started eating it and was like "i need sweetness" so i went back to the fridge and pulled out some of my blueberry syrup to drizzle over but i felt i have done that enough already last week i needed volume with this salad. Back to the fridge and found nothing of interest. Then i looked up and saw my Special K Blue Berry cereal! BINGO!!! I love grinding up healthy cereals as toppings on just about anything and everything so this wasn't a stretch for me at all. I took 2 handfuls of my yummy cereal and crushed it in my hands, sprinkling it on top of my salad. True i did ponder how it would taste with the Cesar salad dressing but im a rebel with food so it didn't scare me off at all. First fork full was good but i didn't taste any dressing...so i dug deeper. And BOOM there it was, dressing, cereal, blue cheese, almonds and yes salad. OMG SO DELISH!

I pranced around with accomplishment and joy chowing down on my latest creation. Now i am eating an Asian Pear to cover my fruit needs and a bottle of Aquafina to stay hydrated. I feel awesome! I can't wait to create another salad experiment!

If you dare to try it, let me know how it goes! Next time i will give the low down on my apples and cereal morning, noon and night delish creation!

"Easy A" Review

So me and my friend watched Easy A last night. It was really funny! And not in a bad cheesy, teen angst trying too hard way. It was smart funny. It makes you think about morals, values and how far would YOU actually go to help others. I found myself thinking "who did i stick up for when i was in high school?" I know i helped a few, i did what i thought was right. And i did build up a mini reputation for several things that were...dare i say...untrue hehe But i didn't have people protesting me like Olive did. I knew where the line was.

Emma Stone is an excellent actress. She should be getting more credit and more gigs for her skill. She isn't over the top and she can deliver big words in a way that make you think, she talks like this on a regular basis. She made a teen drama/comedy interesting with her narration and thought process. The writers definitely get kudos from me! I love how suddenly all her clothes have the Scarlett Letter A sewn on them...on a boob even! That was hilarious! No matter what she wore there was the giant red A on a boob...you had no choice but to look at it =) Wardrobe did that brilliantly.

The other thing i have to mention is the actors who played Olive's parents Stanely Tucci and Patricia Clarkson were BRILLIANT!! Usually parents in teen movies are either 1) nonexistent or 2) so unaware of their kids antics they might as well be nonexistent. These parents though, you could tell they were a lil hippy but more so, took pride in how they raised their daughter. They knew she was smart and funny enough to handle high school and anything that came up during those dangerous 4 years. The relationship they had with Olive was really nice to see for a change of pace. They trusted her but was always there to talk if she needed too. Also supported her fight for the good...or evil...depending on how you look at it lol I would say Olive's mom reminded me a bit of my own mother and the dad well, i would kill for a father like that! Especially during high school days. They weren't a perfect normal family either. They were definitely a little more "loose" compared to most parents i would think but they always had a nice grip on the leash i believe. Her mother cracked us up with her talking about being a whore back in her day and trying to show Olive her "moves" lol

The humor in this movie was perfect! They even talked smacked about some other teen movies and highlighted the awesome movies from the 80s that we all love! I mean really, who doesn't want a random musical in the story of their high school days?! This movie had heart too. Olive was just trying to help someone out and it got out of control fast just like most things do at that time of our lives. I must say, i am so very thankful cell phones weren't around like they are when i was in high school lol I don't think i could handle that mess at all lol OH and Thomas Hayden Church played the classic cool teacher we all had who made you want to hang with him but you knew that would lead to all kinds of wrong lol His moments were a bit awkward because of the story line but memorable.

Yes, i approve this movie whole heartedly! I am going to buy it and watch it again and again! I give it 5 stars!!! Because anyone that can make Huckleberry Finn "gay" deserves 5 stars =D

Quickie

Just a few quick remarks about the President's State of the Union address tonight. I had the pleasure of watching it with my good friend Row. He is by far much more a politico than i am, but i don't feel stupid if i have to ask him to explain something to me.

Don't get it twisted. I am not a blind President Obama follower and never will be. I don't agree with everything he says and does. If you think i am, then like i always say, you don't know me at all.

It saddens me that some of you whom i call friend will write me off or get really pissed off when i do support the President. Or when i mention anything that he has done. It disappoints me that those of you who strongly disagree with everything he has done and everything he ever will do don't even want to talk about it. You just throw out how evil and fucked up you think he is and then don't want to talk about it any further. When you are done, the whole conversation is done, so it seems. And if you do try to explain your point of view you are so vague and obscure you make no real point at all.

I enjoyed the fact that he mentioned that Muslim Americans are Americans as well. And about the DADT needing to be ended. Also enjoyed SOH Boehnner grin at all the wrong times and look so insanely bored as if he had a better place to be. Really? Come on now!

I really just want to extend an open invitation to ANYONE who is anti or pro President Obama to talk to me, i mean REALLY talk to me about why you support or don't support him. We need to have these open discussions so we can stop pointing fingers at each other and really understand where each other is coming from...even if we don't agree with it. You can have a soap box and yell as loud as you want but if you aren't saying anything of value and fact there is no point. I also would like if you honestly can admit if you were all for Bush Jr and Clinton when in office, OR did you become so engrossed in politics just when President Obama came into office?? Let's be frank and honest with each other. Running away from the discussion solves nothing. I have always believed that in order to be a complete free thinker and make reasonable decisions you need to be informed about BOTH SIDES, not just the one you agree with. So seriously...let's talk. And if you still choose to not talk then that's on you. But for me, i am not going to let talking heads tell me what i should agree with. Nor am i going to blindly go with what they say either...but hey, that's just me.

"Cong. Ryan's plea for his unborn grandchildren undercut by his support for higher tax rates for middle class than for rich" - Keith Olberman (i'm just saying)

Get It In

If you have not read the last post by AbFab then stop reading NOW and scroll down and read it THEN come back to this one...i can wait...

It's true, i agree with AbFab for the most part about it's difficult to get laid. And i know guys think its harder for them which i believe it is. It's hard for both sexes for different reasons. But i am just going to talk about the female point of view lol

It's not about finding someone to have sex with. Us ladies have it pretty easy in that department. Show some boobs, leg and shake our asses most guys are sold. We could literally find a guy within 20mins of searching in our phone contacts who will be at our door in another 20mins ready to go. Will it be good, eh depends who it is. But usually it just takes the edge off so we can not kill anyone while we continue to look for another piece of ass.

The issue is finding someone we WANT to have sex with. Forget all the emotional crap we like to have when we get naked with a guy...we literally have to accept that this person is going to see us naked and be in us and we are going to be vulnerable for awhile hopefully getting something amazing in return for such a thing. That and most of us have standards. So going and just letting any dick in isn't appealing. There has to be attraction not just a dick. Guys are lucky in the sense of most can have that disconnect where a girl to screw is just that, a girl to screw and she means nothing to him. Us ladies, don't work that way. Its very hard for us to disconnect. But if we somehow CAN disconnect and find some dick we want in us, we are really hoping its worth the kind of dirty feeling afterwards.

I'm not a whore. I wish some times i was just so i could go and get the easy lay. I wish i could disconnect my brain and just have amazing wild sex with a stranger and not look back. But sadly, i have these things called morals and values in my way. Not to say i haven't had a wild moment here and there. But that's besides the point!

Getting laid for the sake of getting laid isn't as easy as one thinks, period. I've been trying to get into this one person's pants for awhile now but its turning out to be harder than it really should be. I feel your pain AbFab! But don't worry, i have a feeling we will have our fuck buddies soon...i hope. NO ONE likes being in a sexual recession :P

Must BITCH now

I am absolutely floored by how difficult it is to get laid. I was in a committed relationship for 7 years so this whole dating thing is kind of newish, but what's a girl gotta do to get a regular piece of ass?!?

One would think it would be relatively easy to find a regular fuck buddy, right?


WRONG.

Back in December I met a guy I thought was perfect for the job; he's younger, super cute, and a musician (my favorite)! Plus the kid lives within walking distance from my house!! We met at a bar and let's just say we had a wonderful time together (ALL NIGHT LONG) He immediately asks when we can do this again.

A few days go by and I text him to see if he wants company, but he's busy. No biggie. I'm a busy person, too. I get it.

A week or so goes by and he's continually busy. So i gave up. Went on break, had a great time.

Then he starts texting first at 4:30 am...I am so not going to be up at 4:30 am on a weeknight.

The next week I get a text this time it's 3:30 am....seriously, dude...it's Wednesday I'm sleeping!

Then I decided I would text him one night after spending one too many hours at the bar. He says, he just wants sex is that ok? I say that's the whole reason I texted you, do you want some company? I certainly don't want to date this guy I just ended a long relationship I'm just trying to have some fun. Naturally he's busy. So I wrote him off again and I haven't heard from him since.

Until, just now I saw him in the building where I work and he so so so devastatingly cute that it sent me into a frenzy of Facebook stalking (no luck) but I can't even remember how to spell his name. I did find him in the background of someone's picture...lol.

So I ask what's the deal? You want sex, I offer sex, and you're busy!?! Eff you.

T-SHIRT TIME!!

Real quick, gotta admit, im a fan of Jersey Shore. I know! I KNOW! I'm horrible but i do! Its like the insane version of the first few seasons of The Real World and yall remember how awesome that was!

I love Snookie, Pauly and Vinnie mucho mas! JWow is cool as well. The rest bleh lol I know i'm not the only closet fan out there. It surprises me how many of my friends actually watch the show we just don't talk about it lol Talk about shame right! But not me! I am not shamed at all!!!

I am sorry to the people who look up to me and such, i hope this doesn't change your view point of me. I'm only human and sometimes i gotta watch the car crash =P

Give Me A Minute...

WARNING!! This post is not about politics but people and if you can't see the difference then do not read it.

My dear friend Row tweeted "please people suspend the snarkiness, partisanship and divisiveness and come together for at least the next hour." right before the President made his speech in Tucson, AZ tonight.

I wish more people heard/read this tweet. I wish more people would literally stop being jerks and realize what is happening. I wish people would stop being so deeply rooted in their "side" and admit that this shit is scary as hell.

"What we cannot do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on each other" said the President.

My heart is deeply saddened by the event in Tucson. It could literally happen anywhere at anytime to any of us. I am not in this post going to say how simply retarded some "political figures" are acting since this event occurred. I am not going to say how i feel very hhmmm short tempered towards people who are still sitting on their high horses and pointing a middle finger to people who don't agree with them and their point of views political or other wise. I will say, i am really sick and tired of this constant "instant gratification" bullshit we as Americans have towards our government and leaders. Heaven forbid nothing gets done on our clocks. Heaven forbid nothing gets done the way each individual person wishes it to be done. Heaven forbid we actually thank any human being for taking on such a leadership role in any level of government. Because truth be told...MOST of us wouldn't dare do what these people do even if we were getting paid MILLIONS AN HOUR for it!

Jon Stewart gave an amazing monologue about what happened in Tucson, AZ it can be seen here http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/370510/mon-january-10-2011-denis-leary

What amazes me is a comedian on a comedy channel probably gave the best narration of the situation than just about all the political newscasters on all of the channels. YET, many don't take him seriously because he is "just a comedian". Really people? Really!

Yeah i am more than just a little upset about all this back and forth happening over this event. People don't like how i am proud of President Obama for how he is handling the event. Um so did you like how Bush Jr. handled Katrina? Did you like how people were treated in that event? If not then tell me how YOU would handle this situation? How would YOU address the nation about it? How would YOU deal with not just the new daily shit that happens with your country but all the past shit you gotta deal with too.

We sit and analyze TO DEATH the awful job someone who has a huge fucking job to do until we are blue in the face. We sit and say all the wrong this person is doing. We don't listen to them no matter WHAT he is speaking on. We stick to our beliefs and have blinders on because there possibly can't be anything this person can do or say we would agree with. I will say it...i couldn't stand Bush Jr. I was one of the people counting down his departure! BUT let's be real here...did i bash him relentlessly? Did i ignore his speeches? Did i mock people who liked him? Nope. I can honestly say i did not have blinders up for that whole time he was in office. Why not? Because i wanted to know what the fuck he was doing and how it was going to affect me, my family, my friends and my country. I disagreed with him on just about everything he did. But did i disrespect the leader of my country? Nope. Because Lord knows I would NEVER do that job!

Why am i angry? Why am i lashing out? Because i am so fucking tired of this "you stay on your side and i stay on my side and we will argue about everything and blame each other for everything that is going wrong because there is no way my side is wrong in what it does" chatter. I don't care WHO is in office, we aren't going to get shit done if we keep fighting each other at every opportunity! We are not going to be united on anything if we can't even agree that these things should not be happening and that we should do something besides running our mouths to get this shit fixed. My heart bleeds for every single troop out there. I have had several close friends of mine pass on in the line of duty. So don't even go there with me.

You want to sit and tell me to keep "my President" then fine, do what you gotta do. But don't expect me to take that shit lightly. I don't stand up for things unless i truly believe in them. I don't get out the soap box unless i am truly pissed about something and want my voice to be heard. You can go and disagree with me all you want...i got you. And even if you disagree with me, i still got love for you. But don't be an asshole about it. Don't disrespect my point of view just because it's different with yours. And don't challenge me when you wear blinders. And please don't even come at me with preconceived notions ABOUT ME. You don't know me like that, so don't act like you do.

I said at the start this post is not about politics but people. If you still don't get where i am coming from then you clearly don't get me as a person. Its not about who is in office, its about what they are doing and what WE can do TOGETHER. Cut through the bullshit and get to the details and the core of the matter. Take your personal feelings out of it and challenge on facts not on what he/she said chatter.

We lose people every day to completely unexpected events. This event happened on a political stage but it's not about politics at the end of the day. Politics will never trump Death. And that's why i am so very upset about all this and people's responses to it. It seems so many are too stuck on the wrong topic to even see that it doesn't matter what side you are on or where you are at or who you are...when death comes for you its going to get you. So man the fuck up and do something positive while you are still here instead of fighting a battle you will never win.

Leave a comment if you want but really i don't care anymore. I am sorry to my fellow authors of this blog that i had to take this very happy place to a dark place. I hope you understand why i did it here though and i love you guys!

No! Stop That!!!

1. Why is there another Scream movie being made? Cause we still don't know who the killer is? Why haven't they just discontinued making that damn mask? We get it, seriously we do!

2. The priest Father Albert Cutie who got outted by a gossip magazine for an alleged affair BUT the woman was his actual WIFE. He had to leave the Catholic Church because he was married. He didn't want to be banned from his calling because of his wife so they kept it undercover for awhile. Then the stupid magazine outted them. So he can't be a Catholic Priest anymore. YET, we have little children being molested by these so called "men of the cloth" and they get to stay in the church! SERIOUSLY?! I give him major props for doing his book and showing what really happens. And i appreciate what he does because he is showing God's love for us and God's desire for us to be with people whom we love =)

3. Everything with an "i" infront of it...ie ipad, isleep, icrap...turns me off instantly. My friend and i agreed that whenever we see something with an "i" infront of it, we are instantly turned off and don't look twice at it. Seriously, if you know me, you know i am not a Mac/Apple fan AT ALL =P I have been against the whole ifad since DAY ONE and i haven't changed my stance at all. I know, i will get iflack for this but idon'tcare!! Some of yall are just drones and will buy whatever ijobs tells you to ibuy. I mean how genius is it to make a phone that is so far ahead of the game YET you put the damn antenna where the person's hands will be and THEN tell them to put a piece of TAPE over it...SERIOUSLY? WTH iHELL?! You spending hundreds some times thousands of dollars on these things and then you gotta buy some 40cent tape to make sure it works right...wow. Drones i tell ya...all of yall are drones! Rather yet...sheep, just a bunch of isheep lol I love you all who support the evilness that is Apple but you are isheep and i wonder what will happen if Apple ever decides to start pricing their stuff WAY than they should...will you still be an isheep?

Those are my 3 major rants for the day, agree, disagree let me know either way =)

Kick-Ass

Last night i finally saw the movie Kick-Ass with my bestie. OMG that movie is hilarious and violent! I remember when it came out and you had 2 types of people talking about it; One group were the parents of kids who really didn't like how the movie was masquarading as a comic book hero movie but was rated R...the other group were people in their 20s who LOVED IT!

I mean what person doesn't dream about being a superhero and really kicking ass? But this movie showed the reality of that which i really enjoyed. You can't just put on a costume and expect society to accept you trying to save people. There are going to be jerks who actually fight you back with real weapons and you are definitely going to get hurt. The closest superhero (even though he would hate you calling him that) Kick-Ass came to reminding you of was Batman. Which is why i think Big Daddy sort of looked like a cousin of Batman lol You can't just try to physically fight these guys, you need weapons and toys. Especially since you have no super powers.

My favorite line in the movie was "with no power comes no responsibility" LOL Hilarious twist on the Spiderman mantra. Even though it really shocked me right out the gate with the blood and violence (im talking 10mins in someone was dying) there was something very cool about this movie that you couldn't turn away. Nick Cage was perfect pyscho dad too! There were parts where we agreed they probably didn't give him any direction and just told him to be his crazy self lol I didn't understand why he talked the way he did when he was in costume but i guess he felt he needed to sound more intense and precise? Who knows lol

Ok, let's talk about the little girl named Hit Girl. What is she, like 10 or 11 years old? OMG that chick killed the movie! She was the icing on the cake! I like how she played a bigger roll later in the film and they let the teenage boy have the beginning of it. My friend and i were wondering how much therapy did that girl need AFTER making this movie lol The constant fighting (even though she had stunt doubles i'm sure she played some of her own physical parts) and killing people. OH her weapons were BRUTAL! I loved every single one of them especially the double bladed rod but DAMN! She didn't just kill you, she gutted you! And every kill was somewhere in the heart or head...she made sure you were deader than dead. I give her parents props for letting her be apart of this type of film. She may never act again but damn it, she got to live the dream of being a badass superhero which is almost every kids dream at some point. And she did an amazing job at it too!

I won't spoil the ending but it makes me wonder are they working on a Kick-Ass2 at all. Oh and the comic book they showed during the movie to explain Nick Cage's issues was great! The graphics and 3D was so freaking cool! The nerd in me was like "can the whole movie be that style?" lol They definitely knew what they were doing when creating this movie. It had everything and then some that you would find in your typical comic book adventure. The guy who played Kick-Ass too is kind of cute...when he wasn't in his wetsuit costume that is lol

I give it 4.5 stars...because its rare a movie is a 5 star =)

Safe to Pee!

So today at work i cleaned the bathroom. The disgusting icky bathroom. You would think in a store filled with cleansers and perfumes the bathroom would be the last nasty place but nope...not true at all =P

I even took pictures of the sparkling toilet when i was finished! I am so proud of myself! As gross as it was and as much as i choked on all the Mr. Clean All Purpose spray i used, that bathroom is hella clean and dare i say, safe to use once again!

I hope it gets cleaned more than once every month now but i'm not holding my breath. Why do these little things make us so proud? I don't know and i really don't care. I just want to enjoy the feeling of a safe place to pee when i am at work now =)

Now if only i had the energy to clean my own bathroom hmmm? Maybe Saturday i will do it. And yes you can blame me for freaking you out about your nasty bathroom now =P

Over-sharing

I have a bad habit. It's called over-sharing, because I seem to think everyone out there should really care what I have to say. For several reasons:

1. I am clearly extremely entertaining and intelligent.

2. the rules absolutely do not apply to me.

3. My life is a complete disaster and thus ridiculously funny to other parties.

Let's get started.

I am a 30 year old sorority house mom. Single. Attempting to internet date. 2 cats and 1 dog. The sorority house is a 70 year old piece of crap that I'm attempting to hold together while keeping 20 teenage girls happy. See it's funny already.

Winter break is ending this weekend and I'm expecting the girls back starting Saturday. While they've been gone I've had the entire sewer line replaced, which of course, runs under my apartment and the kitchen. The whole first floor looks like Kosovo it's a war zone. There's debris and dust EVERYWHERE and I'm living in an empty room upstairs. The plumbers have promised to have me back in my room by tomorrow night, but of course the tile guy won't be done until next week so I'll be using the communal bathrooms upstairs.

YAY for sharing a bathroom with 10 uber skinny sorority girls. YAY.