Um Hello???

I am so sad that we have become a society that needs to air out all our issues to the world all the time, 24/7, 365 days a year. Ok I'm not just sad, I'm upset about it. And before you start pointing fingers or raising an eyebrow at me, I am including MYSELF in this whole deal. I have let my business spill out onto social media, which makes my soul a little sad, but I have no shame admitting it. Do I have a problem like others? Not even close. I know when to shut my mouth and not put it all out there.

We can't seem to stop letting the world know how we are doing. We can't seem to stop arguing, bitching, whining  complaining, emoting all over the internet. We need to let everyone know at all times on all social networks, we got issues. Well no shit! We all got issues! But not everyone needs to hear it, all the damn time! We get so caught up in airing our dirty laundry on a screen, we forget to man-up or put our big girl panties on and face the issue head on, live and in person.

When did having a twitter feud become acceptable? When did it become cool to call someone out on Facebook and have all your friends "like" your status and comment like the peanut gallery they are? When did we stop grabbing our balls and going to that person and asking, "What the hell is up with that?!" Nope, we rather create vague statuses, retweet sayings and hope the person we are talking about realizes it's for them. Really? Seriously? Is this what we have become? Scared little people, hiding behind a screen picking fights with someone just because they "liked" your boyfriend's status? Really?

We even sit in the same room, texting each other! The art of talking to someone's face and not their profile has become "the norm" and it's getting worse and worse. Will talking go the way of newspapers?? Will we just start emailing, updating, texting all of our thoughts everywhere, all the time and become mutes? Is putting your iPad, tablet, Android, iPhone  laptop, kindle down so hard to do these days to actually enjoy TALKING to someone face to face or hell even over the phone?! (yes i know you need to pick up your iPhone to talk to someone but wouldn't that be a NEW EXCITING thing to try with it?!) We are more concerned about data rates/charges than we are our actual talking minutes these days. Hell i have TONS of minutes and don't even use half of them. But my reason is, I'm often in situations where i can't talk on the phone so yeah lol BUT if someone really did call me and I'm available to talk, guess what...I TALK TO THEM!

Remember when you would sit by the phone at home waiting for that awesome someone to call you? Remember the joy you got hearing their voice and falling asleep on the phone several times a night? Remember having lunch with your bestie and the great conversation you had WITHOUT updating your status as to where you are?? Remember when you could sneak out and just one person knew where you were, because location pin pointing wasn't invented yet? Remember when people came over to your house and actually knocked on your door to pick you up, instead of calling or texting you upon their arrival??? Remember the Thomas Guide?? Remember reading the Thomas Guide wrong but you found a great place to grab a burger and it was your hidden jewel for a good few months before it got popular? Remember missing a call on your home phone and listening to the voice mail and not calling back because you were doing something fun like cooking or enjoying a day at the beach? DO I NEED TO GO ON???!!!!

We need to unplug ourselves badly! We need to talk to the people in front of us with our voices! We need to deal with our issues without an audience! We need to get back to human interaction. Because at the end of the day, without human interaction we are just drones, alone, sitting in a room, waiting for something to ding or beep so we can talk to another drone, who is sitting in a room alone, waiting for something to ding or beep, so they can talk to another drone, who is sitting in a room alone, waiting....

Guts

I think too many of us are afraid to do things that will change our lives in some way. We over analyze and micro manage everything losing sight of the bigger picture. Yes, change is scary, it wouldn't be change if it wasn't scary. But in many cases change is good. Of course change is constant, but people tend to think negatively of change when really...in the long run...it's a good thing. 

I can honestly say, I am not a huge fan of change. Well, change that makes good things or good people go away. I like routine in that sense. We all must move forward, move on and move away from something at some point. But it can be hard if we get too comfortable in the routine. 

Doing something, all be it small or huge, to change your life/path is what keeps us moving. It also keeps things interesting. It makes us feel very alive. We experience these things that shake up our world some times daily. They say you should do something that scares you every day. I don't know about all that. I don't think I have enough things that scare me to do, one a day lol I strive for one a week. Sometimes we can create something that makes us scared or nervous. Other times it's something we have been afraid of for years. Either way, it's healthy and gets those things off your bucket list so to speak =)

I also believe that you should do something once a week or hell once a month, that brings you immense joy! Whether it's eating a triple scooped ice cream cone or dancing naked in your room or having a date with that special someone...do it! You have to enjoy your life. No better way than doing something you love and makes you feel oh so good from head to toe. Something that makes you smile from within, is worth doing over and over again! 

It takes guts to do something that scares you. It takes guts to do something that you LOVE, especially if you are breaking out of the mold that society has created for us. At the end of the day though, you will be a better person for it. You will shake up or change how you feel about yourself and life in general. You could change your whole perspective by being gutsy. You could change someone else's life for the better by being gutsy. Whatever you do, don't sit quietly letting those things you fear keep their control over you. And don't deny yourself the things that make you feel good. 

LIVE!!! Even if it scares the guts out of you lol

Love History

That evil little "holiday" is coming up and of course I am against it and all it's stupidity! I have always been anti-Valentine's Day person, so this is nothing new to my friends. But this post isn't about that mess. I don't think I will do one of those this year...might just resurrect an older piece because my feelings haven't changed lol

Today, I was reminded of an Ex I was with a very long time ago (if I say the years, I will make myself cry). So of course I started thinking about ALL of my Ex's and even past lovers. Side note: I LOVE using the word LOVERS! Makes me feel like an adult who has reached past the stage of saying F**k Buddies lol Actually, I only use the word LOVERS for those whom I spent a significant time with and actually cared for. The rest were just flings and I am not talking about them today...ever...ok not ever but not today :P

I am not going to name names, so don't worry, if you are an Ex or Lover of mine, your safe.
My Love History has been pretty interesting. I've had some amazing Ex's and Lovers! These are my top 10 people ya know. The ones who not only made your toes curl but gave you something much deeper and you still think of them fondly today with a wicked smile...yeah, those people :) Let me be clear with something though, some of my Lovers I never slept with and still they made it into my top 10 because of how they touched my life and raised my standards to an amazing level.

The guys I've had the pleasure of knowing on an intimate level have all given me something I needed at the time. Whether it be to show me that not all stereotypes are true about one type of guy or that chivalry is definitely not dead or that love can bloom over thousands of miles; I have taken something good from all of them. I like to think I gave them something they needed as well. Honestly, I know this to be true because even after going our separate ways, we still have a good rapport with one another that isn't just "civil". It's genuine and honest. When you realize things aren't going to work out and you both agree it's best to let go, I have learned through my vast experience, that if true friendship was in the relationship from the start, you can still manage to have that even after it's all said and done. You don't have to cut each other out of your lives completely. Of course you will need the time apart to heal, but down the road if you both still can let the good outweigh the bad, you can keep the friendship afterwards. It's not easy let me tell you that! But it's very much possible, if you try!

My Love History, has made me see what I am capable of in a relationship. What my limits are. Also, how I have grown since my first major relationship. I use to refer to myself as the Puppy Healer when it came to my dating life. I would somehow get these wounded little puppies and nurse them back to health. They would grow, mature and have their hearts become whole once again. Then when they were ready to venture out into the big world as grown dogs, they would tell me how wonderful of a friend I was and how awesome of a woman I am. BUT, in the same breath they would tell me they met this wonderful girl who does bla bla bla and is bla bla bla and they can't wait for me to meet her or tell me more about her. What? Is this happening for real? Yes...it did...repeatedly!!! I honestly, can't count how many times that happened to me and I pretty much felt like a care-taker of the brokenhearted. I was a shelter. No one wants to be a shelter! That shit is crazy and does things to your self esteem like you wouldn't believe. In the end though, as much as it hurt me, now that I look back at it, I did something good for womankind! I helped those puppies become better people and not hate the female race. I helped someone heal from some times really deep wounds and pushed them back out there to love again. Look at me...I'm the Man Whisperer!! :) Some of them went on to have great families and are still being amazing to this day. Of course there were some that fell off the wagon and are still being wounded puppies, but you can't win them all. And I certainly am not in the Puppy Healing business anymore. I've graduated to Guy Whisperer now damn it LOL My years of dealing with guys has given me a vast amount of knowledge and I am thankful for that. I know how to be the good female friend AND the fantastic girlfriend. And guess what...I can do both with one special person if he is lucky to get me ;)

I am damn proud of my Love History! Why? Because the caliber of guys in my top 10 are pretty damn awesome, so to speak. How can I say that when it didn't work out? Because no matter what happened between us, I can always appreciate, love and respect the person they are. I can look outside of what we had...be objective not just subjective about who the person is. These Ex's and Lovers of mine are...not to brag...but some are the cream of the crop! Maybe, I'm a little biased...oh well, I've earned it! I've been very blessed to not have dated or experienced true dogs, that have left me bitter towards all men. Yes, I've dated some dogs but they aren't in my top 10...no way, no how. But even the "dogs" weren't all that bad...just not on my level. We all do stupid shit, you can't hold that against someone forever if you want to be a happy person. I've never been completely smitten with the "bad boy" type so I've never had my heart broken by such. My top 10 Love History consists of men who always had a job/career, love their mothers, respect women hands down, chivalrous, manly men, adventurous, simple and complex, goal orientated and just plain good guys.

NOW WAIT! I know what you are thinking. If they were all that then why didn't it work out? Oh hhmmm? How can I put this in a short answer? At the end of the day, there was something whether it be on my end or their end that was a deal breaker, so to speak. Something made it clear, we were at the end of our time together. The Ex's and Lovers in my top 10, none of them ended due to cheating or something major like that. That's why they are in my top 10 duh! I guess, that's why I still am in contact with most of my top 10. There is no malice with them. We all make our own beds and we all have to sleep in them. If that means we can no longer be together, then so be it. But if you were a true friend to me before we got together, we can usually pull out the friendship from underneath all the rubble. If not, that's ok too. I wish you all the best still.

What is my point to all this?? I guess my point is this: No matter how fucked up or in some cases awesome your Love History is, realize that you survived it and you are a better person for it. Also realize, all this beta testing (nerdism spilled out sorry! lol) you been going through, just means you are getting closer to the real test that won't even feel like a test and will last much longer! A friend had to remind me of that recently. I had to think about this last situation I was in as half full, not half empty. I am getting closer to the next awesome relationship. We are all just one kiss and one late night conversation away from meeting our next happy place person! The past is suppose to prepare you for this person. So don't ignore it and wish it never happened! Be glad it happened and that it's the past. Because if it were your current, you would be miserable and missing out on the great person coming your way :)

If you are indeed one of my Ex's or Lovers reading this, I want to say from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!! Not sure if you are in my top 10? Here is how you know...do we still keep in touch and I haven't sent you any angry messages lately and I know who you are when you text me? Then yes, you are in my top 10 and you have permission to brag about being in some awesome chicks top 10 best Ex's/Lovers to your friends, if you so wish. I know how the male ego works ;) I thank you because you always accepted me for me. The good memories outweigh the bad. You made me smile from within during our time. You are still a good person no matter how we ended. You have changed me for the better and that is always a GOOD THING!