NOT Sold

I've been absorbing much more tv lately on my days off because i'm too exhausted from work to do anything else besides shower, eat and nap. Some of the crap companies are trying to sell us is ridiculous and the ways they present it can be down right offensive!

-McDonalds commercial where the "rapper" is rapping about their new Mango Pineapple smoothie. Yes, McDonalds, when i think of hip hop i think of smoothies. When i think of smoothies i think of a hot rap concert where JayZ and Kanye promote a smoothie made by you. Yes, McDonalds, this is going to appeal to ME and all of the minorities because we all love rap music and will buy anything promoted in a hip hop video way. Thank you for speaking directly to us, because this is the only way we understand new products.

-Any of those diet pill commercials where some fake doctors and D-Class celebs promote the "awesome results" of these tiny pills. I'm not sorry when i say that ANYTHING ANY JERSEY SHORE REALITY PERSON PROMOTES I AM 100000000000000000000000% NOT GOING TO BUY!!! PERIOD! Roid raging Ronnie is not the picture of responsible and healthy life choices for a better body...i'm just saying. And the names of these doctors are so fake! Let's be real, those pills can kill a person, stop glamorizing being thin with a tiny pill cause that's not how it works!

-Popeye's Chicken...ok i am a bit partial here because i do enjoy their chicken. What i don't enjoy is this woman on the commercials talking about "my chicken is the best" bla bla bla. First off, how stereotypical is this character? Secondly, you need to stop yelling at me about chicken you don't even cook, and probably don't eat. Yes, its good but stop with all the over acted hype.

-That commercial with the white girl rapping about going back to school. SERIOUSLY?! STOP IT! BAD BAD BAD MARKETING DEPARTMENT!!!!

-Time Warner Cable, every single one of their commercials is a lie! When it works its great but when it fails its horrible and annoying! And no, its never cheaper than the competition, ever!

-Any feminine hygiene products i.e. pads, tampons, wash etc. You people are hilarious trying to make periods seem wonderful and easy to deal with. Every woman knows they don't feel like running threw a field of flowers or dancing or wearing a white bathing suit when on their cycle. Let's just be real, if you showed a woman crying, punching a wall or balled up in bed eating chocolate then had the product next to her, that would be MORE relate able and believable than any group of women dancing at a night club. I could do your job blindly!! And those little "tests" with the blue dyed water isn't fooling anyone, so stop using that as proof of how absorbent the thing is. Why do you even need to show that? Just stop lying! You are pissing us off more!

that's all for now

Fitting Room Antics

Women's fitting rooms are evil places overall but when they lock you in and smell funny its an even worse place! Last week i had a crazy adventure while trying on tons of jeans.

I like to scope out several fitting rooms in big department stores like Macy's, which is where i was for this adventure. I know just about all of them and always like to stake out a quiet room so i can concentrate on the task at hand...trying on clothes that won't fit or look funny. It seems on this day, everyone and their mother was hoarding mass amounts of clothes in all the fitting rooms and being loud and annoying. So i dragged my 10 pairs of jeans around until i found a room that was quiet and well lit.

To my delight, no one was in the fitting room at all when i got there and i had my pick of rooms! I never go in the first one, i feel its too close to the main entrance and people always knock on that door or try to get in for some reason. I like the further back rooms...like my own lil corner of the store where no one will bother me and those tend to be the cleanest ones cause they are less used and abused. So i got into one room and it was perfect! Until...the door wouldn't shut all the way. I then thought, well its just off center and began tilting it to shut. Once it did shut i tried to open it again to make sure i could get out and guess what...i couldn't!

Side note...i always, always, always look at the bottoms of dressing room doors to see if i can squeeze out under them in case the door jams. If the doors are floor length i check the top to see if i can climb over the wall/door to get out. If i can't find a way out, i will not use the dressing room period. I was always raised to think "always have a way out of any situation", so yeah.

Yep, i was stuck in the room! I began to turn the knob in all directions and pull on the door shaking the whole room like crazy! I wasn't scared but i knew i needed to try the door the hardest i could before crawling out on the floor. Finally after 8 minutes of pulling and tugging the door jarred open and i bolted to the room next to it. That door closed smooth like butter thankfully!! So i sit down to catch my breath from my "lock in" and realize there was a foul smell in that room. "OH COME ON!" i shook my fist at the ceiling in anger! It smelled like old pee, plain and simple. I tried to wait and see if i would get use to the smell and no longer smell it but the more i breathed the more nauseous i felt, so i quickly grabbed the jeans and my stuff and got out of there.

There was another set of fitting rooms not too far but when i went by there i heard kids screaming so i ignored it. Now though it was quiet so i scurried over there and only one stall was being used and it was at the front. I got to the 2nd to last one, checked the door which was fine and took a deep breath of clean, fresh, well circulated air!

Let the trying on began! Out of 10 pairs of jeans only 2 of them i really liked. One fit perfectly but the waist was so high up, it literally covered more than HALF of my torso and i'm only 5ft1 so yeah. The other pair i liked were just an inch too long but other than that a great fit. They felt like they were already broken in too, so soft and comforting. The down side was the price. I am not paying $80 for jeans, nope.

I sat down again and chilled a bit thinking about how to shorten the waist of the jeans when i heard a mom come in with her lil son. Oh joy! They got the stall next to me too! Great! My flip flops were next to the wall of the neighboring stall and just as i was about to get up and put my clothes back on i see a pair of little hands grab a hold of my flip flops!! It took everything in me to not scream obscenities at this brat! I calmly said "can i please have my shoes back?" and knocked on the shared wall. The mom was very causal about it "oh yeah here" and slid them back under the wall. I wanted to tell her "fuck you very much" but just said thank you and got the hell out of there. Now i see why her kid is a brat.

I don't know why but simple things like trying on jeans always turn out to be an adventure with me. I really wish people would stop being so lazy and take their clothes out the rooms when they are done too. Getting ready to work at Rack i know this is going to be a huge pet peeve of mine. I've worked in women's clothing before and it's always just been a "WTF?!" deal when it comes to dressing rooms. Hopefully, i there won't be too much drama but with women shopping, just about anything is possible.

Things I Can't Put on FB

I like how some of you are already thinking i am going to say the things i can't say on FB in this post lol Yeah that's not going to happen. It's really just an open thank you to my close friends for letting me tell them stuff i really shouldn't say on FB lol

1. Situations going on with my body. It's always nice to confide in someone about these things and i'm glad i have close friends i can do this with so i don't have to put it all over my wall and have everyone looking at me sideways lol

2. My love life. Yeah all that happens in it, everyone should be happy i don't post about it...it's a never ending story that even makes me annoyed some times =P

3. Random off topic shit. I have lots of these moments of random thoughts i could post about but then all of you would be really sick of me, so i don't. Some of you could take a cue from my self control in this department...im just saying!

4. Mood swings. If i posted all my mood swing happenings you would think i am certifiably crazy when i'm not THAT crazy, i just have moments of it lol

5. All the music i come across and love/hate it. Ok actually i do go on tangents here and there but from what i can tell, everyone likes it so imma keep doing it =P

What are some things YOU don't put on FB? Are you saving your friends from countless hours of hating you because they have to read all your pointless updates?