iStalk

Yes, i admit it...i'm on a few internet dating sites. And what have i got to show for my long venture into online dating? Oddly enough, it's where i met one of my bestest friends in the whole world! Along with several other kickass females. It's funny, I've met more awesome women on these sites, than guys. Sure there are a handful of guys but nothing to write home about really...at least not yet. I'm hopeful, its a blessing a curse :)

(for the record I'm into guys, but when you are as awesome as me, you can't help but make friends of all kinds no matter where you are)

What is really fascinating about the online dating scene is, that technology has made it so very easy for us to stalk one another across platforms. I mean you get one person's email and you can pretty much locate them on a few dozen sites easily. You can become completely fascinated with someone quickly and then, maybe, grab your balls and contact them. Because you know, that's not creepy AT ALL. Who needs "Missed Connections" now when you can Google search a stalker picture you took of your secret crush when they weren't looking? Or you could just FaceBook, Google+, Twitter, Friend Finder, Friendster, Zoosk, Match.com, EHarmony, Our Time, ChristianMingle, JDate, BlackPeopleMeet.com, Chemistry.com, PlentyOFish, their email or full name and BOOM, let the stalking begin! 

Yeah, even the most innocent of "researching" can turn into a 2 hour trip down the rabbit hole of learning many things about your secret crush and then realizing you MIGHT have a problem lol 

What happened to lurking behind trees and parking lots to spy your crush? What happened to talking to them casually and getting bits of information little by little to get details of where they live, where they hangout and where they shop? What happened to always being around them at work/school, even when you have no reason to be near them? What happened to sending your friends to get details about them? What happened to rummaging through personal files at work to know where they live so you can drive by slowly at night? What happened to visiting their job 4 times a week to buy things you don't need just to make sure they remember you and have idle chit chat? What happened to mysterious flowers being delivered with a "From your secret admirer" card on it? What happened to originality?! Where is the imagination? Oh look i found you on Facebook and can look at all your pictures and dig into your friend list...SOOOOOOO ORIGINAL *eye roll*

Nope, no one puts any effort into stalking anymore. We have gotten even lazy about that! I for one enjoy the classic, stare at his picture, hope to talk to him for maybe 5 minutes and then tell my girlfriends how amazing that 5 minutes was. Oh and following him from a distance in my car to see where he lives...and what color his towels are when he showers. Yeah, i'm an old school, classy stalker.

Girl Code

Was talking about this with my bestie and decide to post up a quick list of Girl Codes. If you don't know what Girl Code is, it's pretty much certain unwritten code/rules all girls expect their fellow female friends to follow. And in some cases all females in general should follow for the sake of sisterhood.  Oh and there are lots more than I am listing but this is a good start for all girls to keep in mind.

- Don't date your girl friend's ex.
- Don't go after a guy your girl friend has declared an interest in.
- Don't take advances from a guy your girl friend is interested in.
- Don't let your girl friend go off with a guy without getting a picture of him or of his ID (crazy is everywhere these days!)
- When your girl friend is having a visit from the period fairy, you check her backside to make sure no accidents have occurred and if they have, inform her of such promptly!
- If you and your girl friend are all on period fairy time, make sure one of you has enough backup to go around.
- Don't let your girl friend go out looking a hot mess ever! Be honest and tell them.
- Don't leave your girl friend puking in the bathroom to return to the party. Leave no girl behind!
- If you see your girl friend's boyfriend cheating on her, you need to tell her and get pics if possible.
- Always have a code word, signal to get out of a bad situation.
- Don't judge your besties
- Encourage being a SAFE HOE after a bad break up or during a dry spell
- If need be, drive your (hoe) girl friend to the local drug store for Plan B and DO NOT LECTURE HER!
- Be supportive of any pregnancy scares, before and after testing happens. If the outcome is negative hit the bar immediately! If it's positive, be a solid shoulder and help them with what ever choice they make AFTER they see a doctor for confirmation.
- Tell your girl friend if her guy is a dick/jerk/asshole if he truly is one...not if you are just jealous of their happiness.
- With your besties, don't be a prude...let your freak flag fly!
- With your besties, have a secret plan to hide bodies or how to mind fuck a guy who screws you over, at all times.

As you can see, it's a pretty common sense thing, this Girl Code stuff. But sadly too many women have betrayed their friends by ignoring Girl Code. Don't be a bitch. If you truly cherish your girl friends, stick to Girl Code. In many cases, it will make your friendships even better!

Falling

I have no idea where my love of Fall and Winter comes from, maybe because i'm a Winter baby. Either way, i love when that first crisp comes into the air, we start getting windy, leaves start to litter the streets and lawns...aaaahhhhmazing! I know most people think Southern California doesn't have seasons but we really do. We don't stay perfect sunny 75 degrees all the time lol It gets cooler, low 60s in the day even. We get what we call Santa Ana winds and i love those things! I love a good breeze, on a balmy day with a few clouds in the sky, where you need a light jacket or sweater and it just feels good to be in the sun with the wind blowing through your hair! I'm in love with this time of year, i can't stand it lol

I'm the person who pulls out blankets, hoodies and long socks by the armful lol I get to sport my knee high socks and leggings on my off days. My blankets are soft and just an arms length away. And of course i'm in giant cuddle mode now lol I also spend lots of time listening to feel good music...the kind that gives you peace and warmth inside.

It's the season for people to start hooking up and hunkering down for the romantic-ness of cooler weather and stuff. Guys like to find a girl with curves to snuggle up with. The genuine ones actually come out to play too! Those are the guys that will take you out for coca or a nice comfort food dinner, want to walk the beach or park with their sweaters, holding your hands. They make sure you aren't cold, value you not just for your warmth but for your company and awesomeness! These are the guys who know how to make a pair of jeans and sweater look DAMN GOOD! You know who i'm talking about...yep, them! They are what most of us call "good guys". And i have always felt in Fall/Winter they definitely don't finish last.

As for the ladies, this season brings about wanting to be adored and wanted by someone who really cares about us. We watch more romantic chick flicks and some times us single ones are bit bitter at seeing all the couples canoodle around us. I totally admit i am one of those bitter anti couple chicks lol I mean sure, i enjoy seeing real couples be in love and stuff (but i can't honestly stand teenagers ugh don't get me started on them!) but when you are single it's just not something you want or need to see all in your face 24/7.

It's also the season to take stock in the ones we love...family, friends, pets etc. To see who is really close to us or just on the fringe for the sake of being polite. I always clean out my circle of people during this time of year. I don't like to pretend we are good friends if we really aren't. There is no need to waste one another's time ya know. Yeah we went to school together but if i saw you on the street and i don't hug you, you are probably a fringe friend. I don't wish you anything bad, i just don't think its necessary to have you in my life that's all. If ANYONE gets upset over this...stop it...and you are probably one of those fringe friends. I'm just being honest.

Anyways...Fall is here, FINALLY! I'm enjoying every chance i get to be outside (not often sadly). I'm ready to buy more blankets, sweaters and anything else that will keep me warm...maybe even a man? lol JUST KIDDING...sort of...maybe :P I hope you all enjoy the new season as much as i do! And let's not forget, Dark Knight Rises comes out December 4th!!!!!!!

Sexy Average

Friend of mine asked me could a guy have "sexy qualities" but not be super "attractive". I love my friends, they always get me thinking and thus sharing with the rest of the world on just about anything lol

I definitely believe a guy can be sexy but not super attractive. Sexiness is something that comes from within. Attractiveness usually starts on the outside and can seep inside but some don't bother to look that deep into a person. Sexiness is like confidence, you can have it no matter if you are a 10 or a 5.

Let's be honest, no one seriously believes deep down inside they are a 10 all the time, every time. But it doesn't stop us from acting like we are. Same goes with sexiness, everyone has it, but not everyone shows it or even knows they have it. Intelligence is a sexy quality to some people. When we think of nerds, many of us don't think "sexy". But there are definitely some sexy nerds out there and i'm not talking about the ones who wear the stupid "nerd glasses" and tight t-shirts doing Duck Face in their pics on FB.

To me Channing Tatum is not all that attractive, BUT i do think he has a sexy quality that is, his loving affection for his wife when he speaks of her. On the other end, someone like Blair Underwood is insanely sexy to me looks and personality wise. His confidence, demeanor and the way he carries himself is all sexy and attractive to me. Phew, i'm getting hot just thinking about him lol

Sexiness is objective. A woman could adore a man who has a job, decent car and loves his mom and call him sexy every day, even if others don't think he is all that attractive. He could be a solid 6 but to her he is a 10+ because of his qualities. Someone's looks can draw you in but their personality keeps you there or pushes you away. Attractiveness doesn't hold a candle to personality...at least that's what i feel.

I wish people would just be more honest about these things. You could meet a great person and not be attracted to them. That's perfectly fine. Not everyone is going to get our blood boiling every time. They might just get the wheels in your head turning, making you discover what you want in a mate. They could help you heal from past heartache. They could be that window you need to jump through when all the doors have slammed shut. You aren't going to be attracted to everyone and everyone isn't going to be attracted to you. If a good, decent, fun person comes around, don't toss them aside because you don't want to see them naked lol Make a friend and keep your eyes open. You never know what you might find out about yourself when you stop looking for that wonderful, sexy, attractive person that really doesn't exist as much as we build them up to be in our heads =)

Share the Pretty!

The other day i ran into an old co-worker of mine at a fancy make-up counter. We worked together at a make-up company (that is now completely dead) years ago. She is a make-up artist and i always loved her style overall. The other artists i worked with were very over the top. My friend could do over the top if that's what a client wanted but she was more realistic with her approach. That's why i always preferred her doing my daily face and got some awesome tips from her.

Anyways, she said i looked amazing and my application is wonderful! That made me feel so good! I have never taken a class but i love to experiment, especially with eye shadows. I'm an eye shadow junkie! If there is anything i hoard, its eye shadows and mascaras lol But yeah, it was good to see her and she actually asked me for some tips on how i got my eye lashes so "baby doll". She wanted to know what brand i used. I laughed and told her i love Rimmel Extra Super Lash which in the make-up world isn't the most high end brand but man it's awesome stuff! She said she use to be a fan of Rimmel but forgot about it because of where she works. I encouraged her to go try them out again, they are definitely reasonably priced and at least for me have done more than other brands in the same genre like Covergirl. We switched numbers and hopefully we will hangout soon.

This got me to thinking though. People ask me what brands i use all the time. I'm a bit of a snob in some cases when it comes to my brands but i know not everyone, especially women just getting into make-up can afford the ones i get. So i thought i'd share the ones i use and what i love about them:

NYX - they have cool glitter/shimmer eye liners and shadows for that POP many of us like to use on nights out.

Urban Decay - for just about anything. If you like big bold looks they are a good choice.

Rimmel - love their mascaras!!

Covergirl - nice foundations and powders. Mascaras are good for natural everyday looks too.

Smashbox - another good brand if you like bold looks. They do dark colors very well. And their "All
Nighter" spray primer does wonders for the wild/long nights out!

Fresh - just discovered at Sephora, has a great all over Primer lotion. So far it keeps my oils from building up so fast and great for powder application. Also cool mascara mini's, 2 for under $12!! Also love their under eye gel, very cooling and clears up the sleepy baggy eyes nicely.

Wet N' Wild - they get a bad rep for being on the super cheap end but their eye liner pencils are pretty awesome and at 99cents a pop you can't really lose!

Inglot - discovered them after watching one of my fave make-up artists on Youtube. Now, they are definitely on the high end of the industry but once you try them out, you understand why. They have a deal where you can build your own palettes (which can be hard to find companies that do this on a level Inglot does) and once i saw the colors i knew i had to do it! The colors are so freaking awesome! Their stores are very scarce...i went to the one in Vegas and spent almost $80 on 2 palettes but so worth it!! Go to their site http://www.inglotusa.com/ and look for Freedom System...you can build eye shadow, lipgloss, blush, foundation palettes exactly how you want them and order online. I'm gonna get another 2 palettes when i hit Vegas again and continue to build my collection lol They are the brand i would suggest hands down for the confident make-up wearer who doesn't mind spending money on great quality products.

Icings - they have their own make-up line that can be hit and miss but their small eye shadow palettes have been on the win side for me. They are great for playing with new colors and seeing what works for you overall. You don't break the bank at all and you can find some amazing colors that you can find in other palettes when you become more confident and want to move up.

NYC - another brand that gets a less than good rep for being cheap but again, great liners (pencil and liquid). Their lipglosses give some intense color like higher brands. Also a good brand to use when just starting out and finding what you like when it comes to colors.

Lancome - i only know about their lipglosses thanx to my bestie giving me a few as presents. They aren't sticky and go on really smooth. A lil pricey but i feel its worth it, as long as you don't burn through them fast.

Sephora - the Sephora brand itself is pretty awesome overall. They do compare nicely to Urban Decay, Smashbox, Stila etc. They don't cost much either. The quality is nice for their shadows and eye liners. I also enjoy their brushes. I recommend them when you are moving up to the next level of your make-up wearing. You could say they are that brand that is a level up from Target products and below department store products...a nice happy medium!

That's my list. I have used all the brands listed above. I haven't had any bad reactions like rashes or anything on that level with them and my skin is slightly sensitive. I think overall the thing you have to remember when it comes to make-up is don't be afraid to experiment and have fun! It's the only way you will learn what works for you.

BOOO SUMMER!!!!

I hate summer so much! I think it's the most annoying season ever! Especially after the age of 18. You don't get the luxury to have summer vacation and really enjoy it as much i think after high school. College yeah you do get time off but it's not the same i think. And it definitely changes once you start working and being an adult.

Kids our out of school terrorizing those of us who hate kids. Teenagers are out loitering everywhere and doing whatever latest "house hold product" that is the new drug of the week. Pregnant women are running us over with strollers and acting like they own the place, where ever they go.

The one thing i hate the most about summer though is...........

CROTCH SWEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right! you read me right! CROTCH SWEAT!!!!! I HATE CROTCH SWEAT!!!

No one likes to talk about it but i have no shame, you guys know this, so yeah i'm gonna talk about it. Actually i'm gonna make points about it because i feel like using bullet points....woohoo for higher education!


- It happens to everyone, male and female! - If it's hot outside and you are a human being, you have crotch sweat. Doesn't matter how much you weigh, what you wear, none of that matters! That little ring of sweat you see in your undies is sweat and it happens, get over it and wipe yourself up!

- Wearing no undies doesn't help! - that just means the world will see your sweaty crotch through your pants! No one wants to see that! Those of you who wear khakis are the worse offenders with this too! STOP IT! Stop wearing light colored pants and no undies in the summer and not expecting your sweaty crotch to show through. Stop it now! Gross!

- Proper undies is key! - thongs and string bikinis don't hide crotch sweat. It also shows off ass crack sweat which is even more gross!! No one wants to see your thong anymore, stop that! But we really don't want to see your sweat drenched ass thong either! Wear undies that cover your ass and keep a decent barrier between you and your clothes so when sweaty crotch does happen only YOU know about it. Ladies, pantyliner are created for a reason. You should invest in some during the summer to help protect you and everyone else from sweaty crotch. Guys, i don't really want to know if you use pantyliners, but if you do to each his own. No judgement! I would probably suggest wear looser clothing. Let the boys breathe!!! Let air move through to cut down on the sweaty crotch.

- Check yourself! - If you are going on a date, or out with friends or just living your daily summer life and happen to meet someone or know you are gonna get some "action" on any kind of level, do yourself and the other person a favor and check yourself out when attending the bathroom. There is no shame in keeping your shit clean! Infact, next bullet point!

- Keep Clean!!!! - The best way to keep crotch sweat from becoming a bigger issue than it needs to be is to shower, shower, SHOWER! I don't care if you are showering 2 times a day. Your body needs to cool off, showers are there for a reason. Also, if you don't shower and let sweaty crotch run wild for more than a day, it stinks and others can smell you. No there isn't crotch deodorant but baby powder can keep the sweating down to a minimum. As well gives a nice scent. Men, there ain't no shame in smelling like baby powder. It shows you care about how you smell and women LOVE THAT! Please don't spray more than 2 pumps of cologne/perfume in your crotch. That won't cover the stinky sweaty crotch. Just shower dude, its really that simple.

That's it, hope it helps you fight the evil that is SWEATY CROTCH! There definitely will be more "i hate summer" banter coming soon!

*shame is for the weak!

Stop It!!

I'm sorry about how i am going to deliver this but i'm not sorry about the point.

Why the fuck do people keep cranking out these stupid ass shows about black people...wait no, about black women making us look MORE stupid than some people already think we are?! WHY? Single Ladies is a stupid show. Basketball Wives is a stupid show. The Game is HALFWAY decent but still stupid overall.

These shows are portraying black women in a light of, we like money, drinking, glitz and sleeping around. Seriously?? That we are all high drama, mouthy and uncouth. I'm really tired of these shows. I'm really tired of others looking at me like i "might be one of them". Or even asking me about it. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I am NOTHING like those women and don't plan on being like them.

Now look, if you wanna put yourself out there like that on a silly little reality show, by all means, do your thing. Please just know you aren't just showing the world YOU but you are also showing the world US. Unfortunately we live in a world were people are still stupid enough to think people on TV is a correct portrayal of people in real life. So do YOU honey, do YOU till you turn blue, but when you mouthing off, throwing bottles, trying to be "classy" and showing your ass, think about the example you are showing for all of us. We have too many young girls trying to grow up too damn fast and be like YOU on a show like THAT.
And if you are reading a script for a show that pretty much lives in stereotype land, maybe rethink it. Maybe show your intelligence and stand up for something. Selling your soul for a quick buck never lasts long.

I am just really tired of seeing this shit. I wish there was a smart, funny show about how most of us black women are and not what people THINK they want to see. It's like black movies! All black people do in the movies is eat, have family reunions, have weddings, have family drama, have funerals, become criminals or strippers and drink. Seriously? We can't think of nothing else but that? Come on people! And when something DECENT comes out as a black movie, people don't support it cause of stupid shit. Sure, i'm sick of Madea just like everyone else, but Tyler Perry makes other good movies and when they come out people all talk shit and don't support them! Hell Queen Latifah will do a movie and still nobody supports it. Sure it may be kind of lame but damn it, at least its not the usual crap we spew out.

I'm going to get off my soap box right now, but I'm not done with this topic, nope! And for the record YES i do watch The Game and Basketball Wives Reunion (only the reunions!) because damn it i get tired of seeing white people do crazy shit in the swamp and selling things! Yep, I'm an equal opportunity annoyed with all people on TV in general person so don't think i'm being evil or something like that. I don't like most of the shit on TV, no matter who is on it >=)