The Right People

This is geared more towards those of us in our 30s and older. 

You know how when you reach a certain age you accept who you are...flaws and all?You accept the fact that you nerd out over stupid things. You have a crass sense of humor. You sometimes chew with your mouth open. You dance around like an idiot when your team wins or cry when they lose. You accept yourself completely and don't pretend to be something you are not just to please other people. 

You are proud of the person you are and wave your freak flag with your head held high!!

I love that feeling!! I intensely love being who I am around anyone and everyone and not giving a damn if people don't like me. I also seriously enjoy the people who do like me for who I am. The ones that allow me to be silly without judgement. The ones who challenge me to up my game. 

These are the right people to have in your corner. The right people let you be you...fucked up and all...and still have your back. The right people will love you no matter what.

So to my younger readers...don't worry about trying to be something you are not. Be you, and the right people will love you for who you are, NOT who you are pretending to be. THEN, you can join the rest of us with your freak flag =)

Not In Vain

There are things we don't want for people in our lives. Even if things don't go how we want them to go, there are things we don't want to happen for the sake of others happiness. At least that's how i am. Some people wish bad things on others for their own selfish reasons. I don't want anything bad to happen really. I just want their choices to be better and lead them to better things.

Alas though, i can't save everyone. Hell i can't save anyone really. They have to save themselves. They have to want to make better choices for a better life. They have to want to take a not so good situation and make better situations after that. I wish i could beat some people upside the head and stop them from doing things that make their lives harder. But i can't be everywhere either. Perhaps it's just me wanting the best in everyone to come out more often than it does. I want people to be more of the rockstar i know they can be. Yet, when they fail, in a sense, it disappoints me. Not because i wanted something from them. But because i wanted something BETTER FOR THEM.

Feels like my efforts are a bit in vain. Like no matter what i do or say, none of it matters because people are going to do whatever they want. So, when that happens and they need someone to lean on...i have a choice to make as well. Do i do the "i told you so" dance and rub salt in the wound OR do i give them a little smack on the back of the head while embracing them and letting them know, everything will be just fine and i will always be there for them?? If it's someone i am very close to, of course i embrace them...no judgement, just support. If it's someone i'm not too close too, i still embrace them without judgement but i might remove myself from their world a bit. I have found some times the best help you can give someone is pointing them in a different direction and walking away.

Being a helper is exhausting at times. Being someone with a huge heart, understanding and desire to help others is taxing on the mind, body and spirit. Some times your fails are my fails. Your pain is my pain. Your joy is my joy. Your awesomeness is my awesomeness. I truly do love being supportive for my friends and family. But i won't lie...some of yall wear me the fuck out! lol Will this stop me from doing what in some sense is my life's purpose...absolutely not. But it does mean when i celebrate life and all my awesomeness i savor every single second of it!

So if you can relate to this...being a helper, healer, taking care of people in any capacity...know you are not alone. Yes, its straining and stressful at times but if your heart is in the right place, it's very much worth it! Our hearts are big so we can give love to all those who need it. We are awesome! Just please, don't forget about taking care of yourself! YOU can't help others, if you don't help yourself. Take time for YOU...you deserve it! And seriously, when no one is looking, dance around like crazy to release the stress you are holding on your shoulders...then laugh because you look insane but who gives a fuck =)

Easy Peasy

I had an awesome NYE with good friends and even got a kiss at midnight! The kiss was something I haven't had in many years...at midnight I mean lol Sort of expected, but always a nice surprise when it actually happens. Also got to enjoy my best friends whom no matter where we are, its a good time!

I'm excited to spend more time with my peoples this year. I work a lot and so do they and we neglect each other for far too long. For me, that has to change this year. Even though i have tons on my plate this year, i'm making room for the ones i love.

While others are all for eating healthy, working out, getting better jobs or better relationships. I really think a easy resolution we all can put into action, is spending more time with the ones who matter. You can't live your life working and missing the fun stuff. Life is meant to be lived right? Right!

So let's try to do this simple little act. If you got a free weekend, call up that friend you been meaning to grab coffee with. Got off work early, swing by someone else's job with a sweet snack and have a blast of a break that I'm sure they will appreciate. Or if time is really, truly tight, just pick up the phone and call someone! We spend so much time typing all of our thoughts and feelings, we forget the value of having a real conversation with that person. Sure, I feel like I talk to my bestie every day and don't miss a beat in each other's lives, but when we talk on the phone or meet up for Happy Hour, it's altogether different and seems that much more special! Hugs leave a much better lasting impression rather than a million smiley faces and hearts.

Hope you all are having a great start to a new year and chapter in your life! Can't wait to see what this chapter has in store for all of us! Best believe I will share all I can...even the ugly stuff :)

Sucker Punched But Smiling

As women we all go through that whole "screw men! i'm going to lose weight, cut my hair and buy a new outfit to make him wish he never (insert stupid thing a guy did to hurt you here)." moment. We always get sad, then angry about the situation. Then we want to change ourselves or something about us to make things better...?

I have no idea how cutting my hair will make me feel better about a dick being a dick. But I too have fallen victim to wanting to change myself to make some dick regret he did something to me. Hell, I just had that moment about 15 minutes ago lol I have no shame admitting this to you all. Soon after though, I asked myself "wait...why do I have to change anything?" Because really, I'm not the problem in this situation. He is the problem so he should change. Or at the very least, try to be less of a dick to future females lol

There is no reason for someone who isn't fucked up in a real way to change themselves just because someone won't like/love/date/marry etc them. There really isn't anything wrong with you. That person most likely just isn't for you, and them being a dick to you, is a sign saying "HEY! YOU CAN DO BETTER!!" A sign we as women (and some men) tend to ignore. We want to keep the rose tinted glasses on and believe we can change the dick or change ourselves to accommodate the dick. When in reality, we just shouldn't have that dick in our lives in a serious manner. Sure, you can be friends with dicks...you just have to accept them as dicks and keep them arms length away. Besides, you have more important people to spend your time with.

There is nothing wrong with changing yourself for.....wait for it....YOURSELF! But please, don't do it for someone that is going to make you jump through hoops to win them over! You know you can do better, so fucking go out there and get you some better honey! And if it takes longer than you would like, to find the "better", then get a hobby, a bottle and a good friend and deal with it. We all know, nothing worth having, comes easy. I believe you shouldn't give in easily either. I rather wait many years for someone who will make me endlessly happy, than to just hop into something with someone who is mildly entertaining. That's just me though....you do what you want...no judgement.

I won't lie...on more than one occasion I've had several great revenge plans in mind. Things to do to myself to make dicks regret hurting me or not giving me a chance. But being the over thinker and seeing both sides of every situation person that I am, I also realized, I'm not the one who needs to create karma, revenge or anything of that nature to make them take notice of what they missed out. If I just keep being my awesome self, keep going about what I want to do for MYSELF AND MY LIFE, everything else will take care of its self. I will keep being awesome and if they happen to finally realize what they missed out on, cool, if not, whatever. It's not going to change me either way. And I believe if you are really honest with yourself, you will see that there is no need to exact revenge on these folks.

I am not going to break out the Christina Aguilara song "Beautiful" because that stuff annoys the crap out of me most times lol But the sentiment is true. You are kickass, whether a dick realizes it or not. It's going to suck continuing to search for someone who will love you for you, but while you are searching/waiting/dating, DO YOU. Make yourself more awesome for YOU and when that person comes around, you will not only be adored but you will know within yourself that it's true and you deserve it!

Happy New Year...thank you for reading, sharing and commenting! I'm definitely going to do more postings next year and hopefully my plan of being adored for my wit, humor and honesty by the masses will come true! mwha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

New Angels

Psalm 147:3: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." A great quote by President Obama.

Going to work today seemed pointless to me. Watching everyone spend money. Even got chewed out by a lady. Also witnessed another one throw fits over a coupon. I can't fathom the pettiness of these people when completely innocent lives were taken. No parent should out live their child...it's not the natural order of things. Alas though, this is not what happened. I don't have kids, but i have a few i seriously adore and even though they annoy me most times, there is no part of me that would ever want them to disappear in such a fashion. My heart, prayers and faith go out to all the parents and family of the victims. As well as to all of us who are heartbroken by this tragedy. We must be strong though, be there for the survivors and let them know they are not alone. None of us are. I always turn to this scripture when death has affected me or others in general, Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." It's one i lean on in dark moments. No matter what you believe you should know that, you will be comforted during these awful times. Love and support is pouring out to you all. Please, as always, hug your loved ones tightly and make every moment count!

For me, I believe there are 27 new angels in heaven. Many of them who gave joy to others the short time they were here with us. Now they are in a much better place. Free to play until their hearts contend. They are safe now. They all are at peace. I believe they will always be with their loved ones. No matter who we have lost in this life, if we loved them with all our heart, they will ALWAYS be with you in your heart.

Love, Hugs and Blessings to all of us, everywhere!!

iStalk

Yes, i admit it...i'm on a few internet dating sites. And what have i got to show for my long venture into online dating? Oddly enough, it's where i met one of my bestest friends in the whole world! Along with several other kickass females. It's funny, I've met more awesome women on these sites, than guys. Sure there are a handful of guys but nothing to write home about really...at least not yet. I'm hopeful, its a blessing a curse :)

(for the record I'm into guys, but when you are as awesome as me, you can't help but make friends of all kinds no matter where you are)

What is really fascinating about the online dating scene is, that technology has made it so very easy for us to stalk one another across platforms. I mean you get one person's email and you can pretty much locate them on a few dozen sites easily. You can become completely fascinated with someone quickly and then, maybe, grab your balls and contact them. Because you know, that's not creepy AT ALL. Who needs "Missed Connections" now when you can Google search a stalker picture you took of your secret crush when they weren't looking? Or you could just FaceBook, Google+, Twitter, Friend Finder, Friendster, Zoosk, Match.com, EHarmony, Our Time, ChristianMingle, JDate, BlackPeopleMeet.com, Chemistry.com, PlentyOFish, their email or full name and BOOM, let the stalking begin! 

Yeah, even the most innocent of "researching" can turn into a 2 hour trip down the rabbit hole of learning many things about your secret crush and then realizing you MIGHT have a problem lol 

What happened to lurking behind trees and parking lots to spy your crush? What happened to talking to them casually and getting bits of information little by little to get details of where they live, where they hangout and where they shop? What happened to always being around them at work/school, even when you have no reason to be near them? What happened to sending your friends to get details about them? What happened to rummaging through personal files at work to know where they live so you can drive by slowly at night? What happened to visiting their job 4 times a week to buy things you don't need just to make sure they remember you and have idle chit chat? What happened to mysterious flowers being delivered with a "From your secret admirer" card on it? What happened to originality?! Where is the imagination? Oh look i found you on Facebook and can look at all your pictures and dig into your friend list...SOOOOOOO ORIGINAL *eye roll*

Nope, no one puts any effort into stalking anymore. We have gotten even lazy about that! I for one enjoy the classic, stare at his picture, hope to talk to him for maybe 5 minutes and then tell my girlfriends how amazing that 5 minutes was. Oh and following him from a distance in my car to see where he lives...and what color his towels are when he showers. Yeah, i'm an old school, classy stalker.

Girl Code

Was talking about this with my bestie and decide to post up a quick list of Girl Codes. If you don't know what Girl Code is, it's pretty much certain unwritten code/rules all girls expect their fellow female friends to follow. And in some cases all females in general should follow for the sake of sisterhood.  Oh and there are lots more than I am listing but this is a good start for all girls to keep in mind.

- Don't date your girl friend's ex.
- Don't go after a guy your girl friend has declared an interest in.
- Don't take advances from a guy your girl friend is interested in.
- Don't let your girl friend go off with a guy without getting a picture of him or of his ID (crazy is everywhere these days!)
- When your girl friend is having a visit from the period fairy, you check her backside to make sure no accidents have occurred and if they have, inform her of such promptly!
- If you and your girl friend are all on period fairy time, make sure one of you has enough backup to go around.
- Don't let your girl friend go out looking a hot mess ever! Be honest and tell them.
- Don't leave your girl friend puking in the bathroom to return to the party. Leave no girl behind!
- If you see your girl friend's boyfriend cheating on her, you need to tell her and get pics if possible.
- Always have a code word, signal to get out of a bad situation.
- Don't judge your besties
- Encourage being a SAFE HOE after a bad break up or during a dry spell
- If need be, drive your (hoe) girl friend to the local drug store for Plan B and DO NOT LECTURE HER!
- Be supportive of any pregnancy scares, before and after testing happens. If the outcome is negative hit the bar immediately! If it's positive, be a solid shoulder and help them with what ever choice they make AFTER they see a doctor for confirmation.
- Tell your girl friend if her guy is a dick/jerk/asshole if he truly is one...not if you are just jealous of their happiness.
- With your besties, don't be a prude...let your freak flag fly!
- With your besties, have a secret plan to hide bodies or how to mind fuck a guy who screws you over, at all times.

As you can see, it's a pretty common sense thing, this Girl Code stuff. But sadly too many women have betrayed their friends by ignoring Girl Code. Don't be a bitch. If you truly cherish your girl friends, stick to Girl Code. In many cases, it will make your friendships even better!