Falling

I have no idea where my love of Fall and Winter comes from, maybe because i'm a Winter baby. Either way, i love when that first crisp comes into the air, we start getting windy, leaves start to litter the streets and lawns...aaaahhhhmazing! I know most people think Southern California doesn't have seasons but we really do. We don't stay perfect sunny 75 degrees all the time lol It gets cooler, low 60s in the day even. We get what we call Santa Ana winds and i love those things! I love a good breeze, on a balmy day with a few clouds in the sky, where you need a light jacket or sweater and it just feels good to be in the sun with the wind blowing through your hair! I'm in love with this time of year, i can't stand it lol

I'm the person who pulls out blankets, hoodies and long socks by the armful lol I get to sport my knee high socks and leggings on my off days. My blankets are soft and just an arms length away. And of course i'm in giant cuddle mode now lol I also spend lots of time listening to feel good music...the kind that gives you peace and warmth inside.

It's the season for people to start hooking up and hunkering down for the romantic-ness of cooler weather and stuff. Guys like to find a girl with curves to snuggle up with. The genuine ones actually come out to play too! Those are the guys that will take you out for coca or a nice comfort food dinner, want to walk the beach or park with their sweaters, holding your hands. They make sure you aren't cold, value you not just for your warmth but for your company and awesomeness! These are the guys who know how to make a pair of jeans and sweater look DAMN GOOD! You know who i'm talking about...yep, them! They are what most of us call "good guys". And i have always felt in Fall/Winter they definitely don't finish last.

As for the ladies, this season brings about wanting to be adored and wanted by someone who really cares about us. We watch more romantic chick flicks and some times us single ones are bit bitter at seeing all the couples canoodle around us. I totally admit i am one of those bitter anti couple chicks lol I mean sure, i enjoy seeing real couples be in love and stuff (but i can't honestly stand teenagers ugh don't get me started on them!) but when you are single it's just not something you want or need to see all in your face 24/7.

It's also the season to take stock in the ones we love...family, friends, pets etc. To see who is really close to us or just on the fringe for the sake of being polite. I always clean out my circle of people during this time of year. I don't like to pretend we are good friends if we really aren't. There is no need to waste one another's time ya know. Yeah we went to school together but if i saw you on the street and i don't hug you, you are probably a fringe friend. I don't wish you anything bad, i just don't think its necessary to have you in my life that's all. If ANYONE gets upset over this...stop it...and you are probably one of those fringe friends. I'm just being honest.

Anyways...Fall is here, FINALLY! I'm enjoying every chance i get to be outside (not often sadly). I'm ready to buy more blankets, sweaters and anything else that will keep me warm...maybe even a man? lol JUST KIDDING...sort of...maybe :P I hope you all enjoy the new season as much as i do! And let's not forget, Dark Knight Rises comes out December 4th!!!!!!!

Sexy Average

Friend of mine asked me could a guy have "sexy qualities" but not be super "attractive". I love my friends, they always get me thinking and thus sharing with the rest of the world on just about anything lol

I definitely believe a guy can be sexy but not super attractive. Sexiness is something that comes from within. Attractiveness usually starts on the outside and can seep inside but some don't bother to look that deep into a person. Sexiness is like confidence, you can have it no matter if you are a 10 or a 5.

Let's be honest, no one seriously believes deep down inside they are a 10 all the time, every time. But it doesn't stop us from acting like we are. Same goes with sexiness, everyone has it, but not everyone shows it or even knows they have it. Intelligence is a sexy quality to some people. When we think of nerds, many of us don't think "sexy". But there are definitely some sexy nerds out there and i'm not talking about the ones who wear the stupid "nerd glasses" and tight t-shirts doing Duck Face in their pics on FB.

To me Channing Tatum is not all that attractive, BUT i do think he has a sexy quality that is, his loving affection for his wife when he speaks of her. On the other end, someone like Blair Underwood is insanely sexy to me looks and personality wise. His confidence, demeanor and the way he carries himself is all sexy and attractive to me. Phew, i'm getting hot just thinking about him lol

Sexiness is objective. A woman could adore a man who has a job, decent car and loves his mom and call him sexy every day, even if others don't think he is all that attractive. He could be a solid 6 but to her he is a 10+ because of his qualities. Someone's looks can draw you in but their personality keeps you there or pushes you away. Attractiveness doesn't hold a candle to personality...at least that's what i feel.

I wish people would just be more honest about these things. You could meet a great person and not be attracted to them. That's perfectly fine. Not everyone is going to get our blood boiling every time. They might just get the wheels in your head turning, making you discover what you want in a mate. They could help you heal from past heartache. They could be that window you need to jump through when all the doors have slammed shut. You aren't going to be attracted to everyone and everyone isn't going to be attracted to you. If a good, decent, fun person comes around, don't toss them aside because you don't want to see them naked lol Make a friend and keep your eyes open. You never know what you might find out about yourself when you stop looking for that wonderful, sexy, attractive person that really doesn't exist as much as we build them up to be in our heads =)

Share the Pretty!

The other day i ran into an old co-worker of mine at a fancy make-up counter. We worked together at a make-up company (that is now completely dead) years ago. She is a make-up artist and i always loved her style overall. The other artists i worked with were very over the top. My friend could do over the top if that's what a client wanted but she was more realistic with her approach. That's why i always preferred her doing my daily face and got some awesome tips from her.

Anyways, she said i looked amazing and my application is wonderful! That made me feel so good! I have never taken a class but i love to experiment, especially with eye shadows. I'm an eye shadow junkie! If there is anything i hoard, its eye shadows and mascaras lol But yeah, it was good to see her and she actually asked me for some tips on how i got my eye lashes so "baby doll". She wanted to know what brand i used. I laughed and told her i love Rimmel Extra Super Lash which in the make-up world isn't the most high end brand but man it's awesome stuff! She said she use to be a fan of Rimmel but forgot about it because of where she works. I encouraged her to go try them out again, they are definitely reasonably priced and at least for me have done more than other brands in the same genre like Covergirl. We switched numbers and hopefully we will hangout soon.

This got me to thinking though. People ask me what brands i use all the time. I'm a bit of a snob in some cases when it comes to my brands but i know not everyone, especially women just getting into make-up can afford the ones i get. So i thought i'd share the ones i use and what i love about them:

NYX - they have cool glitter/shimmer eye liners and shadows for that POP many of us like to use on nights out.

Urban Decay - for just about anything. If you like big bold looks they are a good choice.

Rimmel - love their mascaras!!

Covergirl - nice foundations and powders. Mascaras are good for natural everyday looks too.

Smashbox - another good brand if you like bold looks. They do dark colors very well. And their "All
Nighter" spray primer does wonders for the wild/long nights out!

Fresh - just discovered at Sephora, has a great all over Primer lotion. So far it keeps my oils from building up so fast and great for powder application. Also cool mascara mini's, 2 for under $12!! Also love their under eye gel, very cooling and clears up the sleepy baggy eyes nicely.

Wet N' Wild - they get a bad rep for being on the super cheap end but their eye liner pencils are pretty awesome and at 99cents a pop you can't really lose!

Inglot - discovered them after watching one of my fave make-up artists on Youtube. Now, they are definitely on the high end of the industry but once you try them out, you understand why. They have a deal where you can build your own palettes (which can be hard to find companies that do this on a level Inglot does) and once i saw the colors i knew i had to do it! The colors are so freaking awesome! Their stores are very scarce...i went to the one in Vegas and spent almost $80 on 2 palettes but so worth it!! Go to their site http://www.inglotusa.com/ and look for Freedom System...you can build eye shadow, lipgloss, blush, foundation palettes exactly how you want them and order online. I'm gonna get another 2 palettes when i hit Vegas again and continue to build my collection lol They are the brand i would suggest hands down for the confident make-up wearer who doesn't mind spending money on great quality products.

Icings - they have their own make-up line that can be hit and miss but their small eye shadow palettes have been on the win side for me. They are great for playing with new colors and seeing what works for you overall. You don't break the bank at all and you can find some amazing colors that you can find in other palettes when you become more confident and want to move up.

NYC - another brand that gets a less than good rep for being cheap but again, great liners (pencil and liquid). Their lipglosses give some intense color like higher brands. Also a good brand to use when just starting out and finding what you like when it comes to colors.

Lancome - i only know about their lipglosses thanx to my bestie giving me a few as presents. They aren't sticky and go on really smooth. A lil pricey but i feel its worth it, as long as you don't burn through them fast.

Sephora - the Sephora brand itself is pretty awesome overall. They do compare nicely to Urban Decay, Smashbox, Stila etc. They don't cost much either. The quality is nice for their shadows and eye liners. I also enjoy their brushes. I recommend them when you are moving up to the next level of your make-up wearing. You could say they are that brand that is a level up from Target products and below department store products...a nice happy medium!

That's my list. I have used all the brands listed above. I haven't had any bad reactions like rashes or anything on that level with them and my skin is slightly sensitive. I think overall the thing you have to remember when it comes to make-up is don't be afraid to experiment and have fun! It's the only way you will learn what works for you.

BOOO SUMMER!!!!

I hate summer so much! I think it's the most annoying season ever! Especially after the age of 18. You don't get the luxury to have summer vacation and really enjoy it as much i think after high school. College yeah you do get time off but it's not the same i think. And it definitely changes once you start working and being an adult.

Kids our out of school terrorizing those of us who hate kids. Teenagers are out loitering everywhere and doing whatever latest "house hold product" that is the new drug of the week. Pregnant women are running us over with strollers and acting like they own the place, where ever they go.

The one thing i hate the most about summer though is...........

CROTCH SWEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right! you read me right! CROTCH SWEAT!!!!! I HATE CROTCH SWEAT!!!

No one likes to talk about it but i have no shame, you guys know this, so yeah i'm gonna talk about it. Actually i'm gonna make points about it because i feel like using bullet points....woohoo for higher education!


- It happens to everyone, male and female! - If it's hot outside and you are a human being, you have crotch sweat. Doesn't matter how much you weigh, what you wear, none of that matters! That little ring of sweat you see in your undies is sweat and it happens, get over it and wipe yourself up!

- Wearing no undies doesn't help! - that just means the world will see your sweaty crotch through your pants! No one wants to see that! Those of you who wear khakis are the worse offenders with this too! STOP IT! Stop wearing light colored pants and no undies in the summer and not expecting your sweaty crotch to show through. Stop it now! Gross!

- Proper undies is key! - thongs and string bikinis don't hide crotch sweat. It also shows off ass crack sweat which is even more gross!! No one wants to see your thong anymore, stop that! But we really don't want to see your sweat drenched ass thong either! Wear undies that cover your ass and keep a decent barrier between you and your clothes so when sweaty crotch does happen only YOU know about it. Ladies, pantyliner are created for a reason. You should invest in some during the summer to help protect you and everyone else from sweaty crotch. Guys, i don't really want to know if you use pantyliners, but if you do to each his own. No judgement! I would probably suggest wear looser clothing. Let the boys breathe!!! Let air move through to cut down on the sweaty crotch.

- Check yourself! - If you are going on a date, or out with friends or just living your daily summer life and happen to meet someone or know you are gonna get some "action" on any kind of level, do yourself and the other person a favor and check yourself out when attending the bathroom. There is no shame in keeping your shit clean! Infact, next bullet point!

- Keep Clean!!!! - The best way to keep crotch sweat from becoming a bigger issue than it needs to be is to shower, shower, SHOWER! I don't care if you are showering 2 times a day. Your body needs to cool off, showers are there for a reason. Also, if you don't shower and let sweaty crotch run wild for more than a day, it stinks and others can smell you. No there isn't crotch deodorant but baby powder can keep the sweating down to a minimum. As well gives a nice scent. Men, there ain't no shame in smelling like baby powder. It shows you care about how you smell and women LOVE THAT! Please don't spray more than 2 pumps of cologne/perfume in your crotch. That won't cover the stinky sweaty crotch. Just shower dude, its really that simple.

That's it, hope it helps you fight the evil that is SWEATY CROTCH! There definitely will be more "i hate summer" banter coming soon!

*shame is for the weak!

Stop It!!

I'm sorry about how i am going to deliver this but i'm not sorry about the point.

Why the fuck do people keep cranking out these stupid ass shows about black people...wait no, about black women making us look MORE stupid than some people already think we are?! WHY? Single Ladies is a stupid show. Basketball Wives is a stupid show. The Game is HALFWAY decent but still stupid overall.

These shows are portraying black women in a light of, we like money, drinking, glitz and sleeping around. Seriously?? That we are all high drama, mouthy and uncouth. I'm really tired of these shows. I'm really tired of others looking at me like i "might be one of them". Or even asking me about it. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I am NOTHING like those women and don't plan on being like them.

Now look, if you wanna put yourself out there like that on a silly little reality show, by all means, do your thing. Please just know you aren't just showing the world YOU but you are also showing the world US. Unfortunately we live in a world were people are still stupid enough to think people on TV is a correct portrayal of people in real life. So do YOU honey, do YOU till you turn blue, but when you mouthing off, throwing bottles, trying to be "classy" and showing your ass, think about the example you are showing for all of us. We have too many young girls trying to grow up too damn fast and be like YOU on a show like THAT.
And if you are reading a script for a show that pretty much lives in stereotype land, maybe rethink it. Maybe show your intelligence and stand up for something. Selling your soul for a quick buck never lasts long.

I am just really tired of seeing this shit. I wish there was a smart, funny show about how most of us black women are and not what people THINK they want to see. It's like black movies! All black people do in the movies is eat, have family reunions, have weddings, have family drama, have funerals, become criminals or strippers and drink. Seriously? We can't think of nothing else but that? Come on people! And when something DECENT comes out as a black movie, people don't support it cause of stupid shit. Sure, i'm sick of Madea just like everyone else, but Tyler Perry makes other good movies and when they come out people all talk shit and don't support them! Hell Queen Latifah will do a movie and still nobody supports it. Sure it may be kind of lame but damn it, at least its not the usual crap we spew out.

I'm going to get off my soap box right now, but I'm not done with this topic, nope! And for the record YES i do watch The Game and Basketball Wives Reunion (only the reunions!) because damn it i get tired of seeing white people do crazy shit in the swamp and selling things! Yep, I'm an equal opportunity annoyed with all people on TV in general person so don't think i'm being evil or something like that. I don't like most of the shit on TV, no matter who is on it >=)

Maybe You Will...Maybe You Won't

A friend of mine is feeling the pangs of a relationship being over. Missing someone you were crazy for is never fun. So this is my advice...

You get over them in whatever time you need. Meaning no matter how long you were together, you can't calculate how long its going to take for you to get over them. It may take a month, it might take a year. Only YOU can determine how long it's truly going to take to move forward. YOU make the choices for the next steps to move forward. You can cry. We all do. You can hide. We all do. You can be angry, pissed off and even resentful. We all do. But once you have run the gambit of emotions, what will you do? Can you learn from the situation? Can you pull out the good things that happened and smile about them? Can you forgive the bad things and truly forgive the person for hurting you AND for you hurting them?

It's a process. I take breakups like death. Especially if it's someone you were madly in love with and genuinely apart of one another's lives in amazing ways. You are going to feel the loss like you would when someone close to you dies. In a way it is a death. It's the death of a relationship. It's a death of part of you. You feel something missing very strong. There is a hole. And with that can come darkness and immense sadness. Trust me i know.

Speaking from experience. I have loved deeply. I have loved only 2 people in my life (not related to me) so much that i have seriously said, i would give my life for them. I have lost both of them, relationship wise. The sadness if i sit and think about it, like i am now, is still intense. The pain is still there as if it happened yesterday. I mourned when we ended our relationship. I mourned long and hard. I went to a very dark place that i had never known existed in me. I was a woman on an island, in my world. No one could say anything to me to make me feel any better for the longest time. Sure i went about my days with school and work as though i was fine but there was always a dark cloud hovering over me. I literally felt like i was best friends with Death himself. Because i truly felt that a part of me died once those relationships were over and there was no light at the end of the tunnel what so ever. So yeah, i been in it. Even to this day, its been many, many, MANY years since we have broken up and it still gets me choked up when i talk about the break up. But i have moved forward in huge ways.

You might NEVER get over this person. People don't tell you this unless they are being deathly honest to you. Your friends will say "fuck him/her, you can do better" bla bla bla. They can tell you all the shit you want to hear just to make you feel better. But truth be told friends can lie to you. A real friend, person will tell you exactly what i am about to say...YOU MIGHT NEVER GET OVER THIS PERSON. You may move forward and move on. You will meet someone else who will make you just as happy, or even happier. You will love again. That said though, the love you felt for that person may never go away and the hurt you feel from the loss may never full heal. But if you have made the effort to move on with your life, you will put that person in a place in your heart and lock it up. Think of it as a Pandora's Box deal. You put stuff in there you need to push back in order to move forward and get all the things you deserve in this life. You lock it up and put it away for safe keeping. I won't say you can never open the box again because it's human nature to go there. It's natural to want to go back there at any time. So you will. You will go there and remember the good and bad things. You will wonder if you could have done anything different. You will  miss the person. You will wonder if you will ever be that happy or meet someone that awesome ever again. That's normal. If you truly loved this person, you will look back and you will have a moment of sadness. That's how we learn and move forward. The key is to not dwell there. Don't be in the box too long. As i said before, its been several years since my break ups and every now and then i will go and open the box to  remember the good things and still feel love for them. But i don't stay there too long, because i have a future someone out there who will love me just as much and i have to remember i will be happy once again. These 2 guys will ALWAYS have a place in my heart...ALWAYS. That will never change. I will love them in some way always and forever. I accept and understand that. Which is how i have been able to move forward.

You will be all right. That's it. You will be all right. You can survive the loss. You will love someone else again. You will be just as happy with someone else again. Sure it's going to be a bit of a journey but that's what life is about. You continue the journey, take the hits and still can come up on top. That person you broke up with, doesn't define your future, only you do. You can still love them but not be with them. However, if you are an eternal optimist like myself you can have hope that maybe...just maybe, you might be reunited with this person down the road. Both as better people and both ready to be together again and it will be done the way it should be. That old saying, if  it's mean't to be it shall be, is what i believe and it's what gets me through those rough days.

I hope this helps anyone who is in this space. You are not alone.

F*** the NBA

Yeah i said it. Why do i say it? Here are my reasons and i don't care if you agree or don't.

1. We don't even have a full season! We barely got a season so you would think they want to make sure they get all the money from fans as they possibly could. NOPE! They rather keep prices too fucking high for tickets (no where near the court). Then do trades like we have a full season still! Seriously?!

2. Trades in a shitty less than half a season is bullshit! Let the players fucking play with their team! If someone really wanted to be traded then do a trade per their request but don't sit up here and keep the same trade deadlines! And stop putting people on the trade table that don't need to be there! You can't fucking "rebuild" a team this season. Wait till its over, its going to be fucking over in 2 minutes anyways! These guys are playing long and hard and you want to start pushing them to a new team where they will barely know their teammates before the shit season is over?! Seriously?!

3. Fuck Mitch Kupcheck! Yeah i said it! He is playing fast and loose with his players trying to make a dollar anyway he can. Who is paying for this? Laker fans. First Odom, now Fisher. We got a whole fucking bench of players who aren't doing shit for us and you want to trade starters and vets? Seriously?! It doesn't matter that i'm Fisher's number one fan. The man was here 1) to get the best medical care for his daughter, and 2) so he could retire as a Laker because that's what he wanted to do and EVERYONE KNEW THIS!!! FUCK, he is the got damn President of the Player's Association! You couldn't give him the rest of this shitty season and probably of his career with the team he loves?! SERIOUSLY?! Waste of fucking time and money! The man has to fucking pick up his family and move to Houston and get ready to play with a team he doesn't even know, let alone who doesn't even DESERVE HIM! People are wondering what's wrong with Odom, why isn't he playing good? WTF DO YOU THINK IS WRONG WITH HIM?! He got put on the table and didn't even know he was an option...stabbed in the back. THEN you decide last minute to take him off the table because of the HUGE uproar over it and guess what...seconds later you fucking trade him to a team that doesn't deserve him! And you fucking wonder WHY he isn't playing very well? You wonder why his heart isn't in it? Hmmm i wonder?! No amount of money fixes being stabbed in the back by someone who you thought had your back. And don't even get me started on what they did to Brian Shaw!

4. Fuck David Stern! He has proven time and time again to be all about money at any cost. Maybe he owes some mafia people i don't know. Maybe he lost some bets in Vegas? Maybe he is just a douche? Him and some of the owners are definitely douches. It's all about the money to them and they will do whatever it takes and screw over whoever they want to get that dollar. I mean look at the Miami deal...case and point. I am tired of giving my hard earned money to the NBA. I am tired of supporting a system that keeps screwing it's fans over. I'm tired of supporting a system that doesn't give a fuck about it's players and treats them like pawns. Let the guys fucking play! Let the fans fucking cheer for their team without blowing a car payment! The madness this has become is just mind blowing!

Don't get it twisted, i'm still a Lakers fan...loosely at the moment...but i'm done watching them this season. I still love pro basketball but I'm done with it this season. They have done nothing to earn my money, viewership, nor respect.

Those of you who are like "well they have to rebuild" bla bla bla about the Fisher trade, think of it like this: Say Kobe or Jordan (back in his day) were like 20 games away from retiring at the end of the season and they traded them to a loser team so he didn't have a huge chance of retiring with the team he loved, with the fans he loved, with the city he loved and did so much for on that team. How would you feel then? Especially after all the lockout drama. Could you really be ok with it and not want to say "Fuck this!"??? That's how i feel and i'm sorry but no one can change my mind about it.