Those of us who work with the public, whether it be in retail, food industry, transportation, help desk, hospitality etc. deserve respect from you...the public at all times. In a way we are like the nurses of the working world. Do A LOT of the leg work and our superiors get all the credit, yet we still keep plugging along (i'm not implying we save people's lives...well some do but yeah, don't get all technical with me about the nurses comparison, ok, cool.) Completely unsung heros in your every day life. Just take a moment and think about all of the people you ask to do something for you and they do it with no issues and thank you for visiting their place of work. I mean think about how many times you go to Starbucks or similar place every week. And think about that person who knows who you are, always gives you a smile and amazing service and doesn't ask for anything in return...ever.
Yeah.
No matter where you encounter a Customer Service representative, you do it almost without thinking about all that we endure on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. And to those of you who DO understand what we go through, THANK YOU! Because we definitely don't do it for the money!
I can't speak for all CSR's but I can say this...to some degree we all enjoy working with the public. No matter how utterly mind numbing, head banging against the wall annoying and stressful it is, we do enjoy it on some level. I say you have to be a bit insane to willingly work with the public. Because in and of itself the definition of insanity (paraphrasing) is doing something repeatedly hoping for a different outcome each time. We go to work, smile, say hello/welcome, answer your questions, help you in any way we can and thank you for abusing us AND to come do it again ANYTIME! Who willingly does that? The Customer Service Rep does!
Your title might be barista, bank teller, housekeeper, front desk, administrator, help desk agent, flight attendant, policy representative, sales associate, cashier, waiter/waitress, police officer, security, fireman, radio host, bartender, concierge and the list goes on and on! No matter what the title is, you serve the public. We go through all the same issues with all the same annoying people together. We have really bad days and we have really good ones, but mostly we have just "meh" days. Thankful they are over, not completely looking forward to the next one but still plug along.
What is my whole point in all this? My point is to show you the people you take for granted and demand things from every single day, exactly how you want it, when you want it and NOW. Some of them will save your life but yet, some of you will even fight against that. Hell...let me back up...any of us could save your life! There are procedures in place at public places that all workers must train for, in case of emergencies. So that "little girl" you think can't take your order right or the guy who can't make your coffee exactly the same every time or the "jerk" who tells you to turn your cell phone off at the start of a flight or the "all you are is a secretary" who can't answer you right away due to all the phones ringing...could very well save your life if something goes down and you are too caught up in your own little world to notice your life is in danger. We are trained to keep calm in the face of danger and to make sure YOU are safe...not just us, but YOU. We sign a piece of paper saying we will put your lives ahead of our own. We do that for a job that doesn't pay us nearly enough and for rude, disrespectful, arrogant people who don't know how to treat a fellow human being.
I am not talking about all customers, clients, guests etc. Just the rude ones...you know who they are, you might be one of them.
I get very upset when people don't respect those of us who serve the public. I don't care if we are just a cashier or flying a got damn plane, there is NO NEED to be rude to us! I don't care if you had a bad day and want your fancy coffee super hot and get it at average heat...there is no need to talk down to us. No need to call us foul names. No need to belittle what we do. No need to expect miracles when you don't deserve them. Throwing a fit, making a scene and acting like a 5 year old doesn't make YOU look any better, nor does it make US want to help you any more. All it does it make you look like a Class A jackass. It also makes US more inclined to stress which leads to bad habits, which could lead to serious medical issues.
A quick story and then I am done. At one of my former jobs, a customer insisted she "borrow" a couple of my associates to help her to her car. After explaining to her I could call security and they would be more than happy to help her, she demanded I do it because she spend all this money and bla bla bla. I let her rant and rave and repeated myself about security. She then demanded to see the Supervisor. Well...I was the Supervisor, so of course she didn't like that bit of news haha She walked over to a few of my associates and tried to convince them to help her to her car. They all knew we didn't do this service, so they all declined. She stomped around, telling other customers how rude we were and I just giggled to myself because the woman looked ridiculous! I had one of associates call security to help her with her bags...she was getting out of my store one way or another. When they showed up she thought she was going to be removed from the store due to her antics. I explained to her how the lovely gentlemen were going to help her to her car. She insisted on having my boss' number, which i supplied to her and then told me I should be fired for my behavior. I told her to have a great holiday!
The woman didn't return for months. She did however give my boss an earful about how she was treated. My boss talked to me of course and unfortunately took the customer's side, but that didn't surprise me. I got written up and life went on. When the woman did return to my store, she was shocked to still see me working there. Even more so, still as a Supervisor. She of course ignored me and got help from another perosn haha Fast forward to early this year, i am at a new company and still dealing with crazy people just on a larger scale. The woman who demanded i be fired, comes into my store and is just all smiles and life is beautiful, towards me. She says I'm so lovely to help her and all that. I just smile and keep it pushing. But every single time she comes in, she asks "where do I know you from?" and I tell her "i don't know, but people ask me that all that time, I have one of those faces i think." We laugh and she spends money on things she doesn't need and i tell her to have a good day. She still doesn't remember where she knows me from. And i will never remind her. I personally can't stand her...she expects to be catered to all the time and I don't have any time to do that.
The moral of the story...of the post? You can be rude to us, you can call us out of our names, you can throw all the tantrums you want, but it doesn't make you better for doing so. And try as it might, it doesn't break all of us down. We stand tall, we keep fighting the good fight and we keep serving the public with a smile. Why? Like I said, we are a little bit crazy. If we snap on you, put you in your place, stop you mid tantrum explaining to you why you need to act like an adult and treat people like human beings don't you dare act like we are in the wrong, because YOU started this, not us. We don't ask for much...just some respect, do that and we can make every single day awesome for you.
*jumps off soapbox like a ninja*
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 23, 2013
The Gentlemen
People these days capture moments with cameras and share them with the world instantly. They must constantly tell the world how they are living their life. It doesn't happen as much as i would like it too...i guess that's what makes each time it DOES happen that much more special and unique. Unplugging, being MIA, just enjoying the space and company you are in, not bothered by anybody else, a mini vacation from life...i love it.
Oh the joys of knowing a gentlemen. Someone who has charm, humor and a view of life beyond his facebook page. Someone who values the person in front of him for who they are, not what they can do for him. The guy who is very popular but will make time for you and only you, making you feel like the oh so special person in his life...even if you aren't. The guy who not just listens to you, but hears what you are not saying and allows you to either "go there" or not. Either way, you feel comfortable on all levels with him. He does the chivalry thing without missing a beat. Asks how you are, because he genuinely cares about your well being. He will be there when you need him, even if he is across the country or across the globe. And he will make you feel like he is right next door. Whether you are having a drink, seeing a movie or just chillin in a random cafe in a random place, he will naturally make sure you enjoy your time together. Even if you are just friends, you know you have a solid one in the gentlemen.
My faith is restored in men almost daily, thanx to the gentlemen I know. They aren't just attractive, cool guys who wear fedoras and know how to put on a good suite and tie here and there. They are real, honest, men. They pull no punches, don't use smoke and mirrors and tell you what's what anytime you ask. I've realized, gentlemen are good soul people. They attract a lot of attention from both sexes but don't give it away freely. You sort of have to have a connection on a deeper level to stay within a gentlemen's circle. To not be forgotten in the throngs of people clamoring to know them. They know, no strangers. It's fascinating to watch them in action with people everywhere they go. It's very easy for them to put others at ease, make them smile and make a new friend, so to speak. They aren't pompous or alpha unless truly necessary and even then, showing their dominance, is usually for situations it must occur. But once the situation is over, they are back to their cool selves and keep it pushing.
Why do women love a gentlemen so much? If there was a clear and easy answer I would say what it is...but there isn't. It's not black and white at all. What it is though, is exciting. A woman...a REAL WOMAN, knows a gentlemen when she see's him a mile away. We can almost smell it! Even if he is a "gentlemen in training" we just know it's there. I have witnessed "mini gentlemen" as well. They are little boys who are charming and sweet and love to make his mom, grandmother, sister or any female of that matter, smile and laugh. Now, they don't always grow up and stay gentlemen but that usually depends on the parents. Gentlemen don't have a particular look or way of dressing or hair style. They don't all hangout together either. They don't frequent the same places too often...unless it's a coffee house or neighborhood bar, but even then, they cast wide nets no matter where they live. I know gentlemen in flip flops, uniforms, suits and Star Wars shirts. They come in all shapes and sizes. They aren't a dying breed, trust me...they aren't. And they really aren't hard to get the attention of. The good soul of a gentlemen seeks out other good souls. So be yourself, be genuine and be real. Even if you think they are out of your league, I'm pretty sure you have something within you that will connect with them. And don't get it twisted, they have a naughty side to them that very few know, but when you know...you KNOW ;)
Like I said, I've been honored to know and be around gentlemen from all over and of all types. I have them in my family and definitely have them in my inner circle. I feel special when I am with them. I know I am in good hands, good company and my life is better for knowing them. I try to do the same for them in return and let them know as often as I can, how much i appreciate them being who they are. I ego stroke a gentlemen often haha And if he is a real gentlemen, he will take it humbly, might crack a "i know" joke but really, they are thankful for such a compliment. Also, it keeps showing them that they are appreciated for who they are in a massive sea of jerks, pricks, douche bags and assholes.
Gentlemen...they are MOST good.
Oh the joys of knowing a gentlemen. Someone who has charm, humor and a view of life beyond his facebook page. Someone who values the person in front of him for who they are, not what they can do for him. The guy who is very popular but will make time for you and only you, making you feel like the oh so special person in his life...even if you aren't. The guy who not just listens to you, but hears what you are not saying and allows you to either "go there" or not. Either way, you feel comfortable on all levels with him. He does the chivalry thing without missing a beat. Asks how you are, because he genuinely cares about your well being. He will be there when you need him, even if he is across the country or across the globe. And he will make you feel like he is right next door. Whether you are having a drink, seeing a movie or just chillin in a random cafe in a random place, he will naturally make sure you enjoy your time together. Even if you are just friends, you know you have a solid one in the gentlemen.
My faith is restored in men almost daily, thanx to the gentlemen I know. They aren't just attractive, cool guys who wear fedoras and know how to put on a good suite and tie here and there. They are real, honest, men. They pull no punches, don't use smoke and mirrors and tell you what's what anytime you ask. I've realized, gentlemen are good soul people. They attract a lot of attention from both sexes but don't give it away freely. You sort of have to have a connection on a deeper level to stay within a gentlemen's circle. To not be forgotten in the throngs of people clamoring to know them. They know, no strangers. It's fascinating to watch them in action with people everywhere they go. It's very easy for them to put others at ease, make them smile and make a new friend, so to speak. They aren't pompous or alpha unless truly necessary and even then, showing their dominance, is usually for situations it must occur. But once the situation is over, they are back to their cool selves and keep it pushing.
Why do women love a gentlemen so much? If there was a clear and easy answer I would say what it is...but there isn't. It's not black and white at all. What it is though, is exciting. A woman...a REAL WOMAN, knows a gentlemen when she see's him a mile away. We can almost smell it! Even if he is a "gentlemen in training" we just know it's there. I have witnessed "mini gentlemen" as well. They are little boys who are charming and sweet and love to make his mom, grandmother, sister or any female of that matter, smile and laugh. Now, they don't always grow up and stay gentlemen but that usually depends on the parents. Gentlemen don't have a particular look or way of dressing or hair style. They don't all hangout together either. They don't frequent the same places too often...unless it's a coffee house or neighborhood bar, but even then, they cast wide nets no matter where they live. I know gentlemen in flip flops, uniforms, suits and Star Wars shirts. They come in all shapes and sizes. They aren't a dying breed, trust me...they aren't. And they really aren't hard to get the attention of. The good soul of a gentlemen seeks out other good souls. So be yourself, be genuine and be real. Even if you think they are out of your league, I'm pretty sure you have something within you that will connect with them. And don't get it twisted, they have a naughty side to them that very few know, but when you know...you KNOW ;)
Like I said, I've been honored to know and be around gentlemen from all over and of all types. I have them in my family and definitely have them in my inner circle. I feel special when I am with them. I know I am in good hands, good company and my life is better for knowing them. I try to do the same for them in return and let them know as often as I can, how much i appreciate them being who they are. I ego stroke a gentlemen often haha And if he is a real gentlemen, he will take it humbly, might crack a "i know" joke but really, they are thankful for such a compliment. Also, it keeps showing them that they are appreciated for who they are in a massive sea of jerks, pricks, douche bags and assholes.
Gentlemen...they are MOST good.
Aug 28, 2013
The Dream Is Alive
This will be my one statement about the whole MLK Jr. Anniversary today.
I am so very thankful that not just my parents and grandparents but YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS believed in The Dream, enough to make sure WE (you and me sitting right here reading this) lived a life NOT SEPARATED. NOT closed off from one another. NOT in fear, anger and hatred for others just because of our skin tone. I am so very PROUD that my grandparents thought well enough to move from Arkansas where my mom was born and head on over to California to have a better life for them and future me! Same with my family in Chicago, Georgia, Kansas, Texas, Arizona, Nevada etc. Not too many generations behind me, they knew it would be best for them to leave such small mindedness behind and make a better life and future for all of us.
Your family did the same thing. They choose to leave places and take root somewhere else for their dreams. They raised your parents and your parents raised you to not be so small minded and closed off from people. They taught you to love one another based on character and not color, creed or religion.
Look at your friend's list. You have a rainbow of people from all over as your friends! YOU BROKE THE CYCLE! You continue to do so every single day too! You are nice to people no matter what their background. You are respectful. You care for them. You love them. You teach them through your actions. You kill them with kindness even when they are rude and don't deserve such things. YOU are the living embodiment of King's Dream! YOU MY FRIEND! MY FAMILY! MY PEOPLE!! You further The Dream message with how you raise your kids. You teach them equality and love for all no matter WHO the person is. You teach them just as your parents taught you. YOU FUCKING ROCK THE DREAM!
I am so very very VERY proud (damn it, i'm tearing up now lol) to say my best friends are Hispanic, Japanese, Black, White, gay, straight, fat, skinny, short, tall, smart and even slightly stupid (haha). So very proud to be able to walk down the street head held high and get the respect I deserve and have earned. I am so very proud that every single fucking day, I know somehow, somewhere I silenced a stereotype! You do it too! Whether you know it or not, you do! And you should be just as proud!
It's still a long road ahead of us to make MORE of an impact than we already have. But we are going to keep doing it as long as we keep living and teaching others how to open then eyes, hearts and minds to what is truly right. But I believe with all my being, that we are on the right track! And I am so very fucking proud to be apart of it with you all!
*drops the mic*
I am so very thankful that not just my parents and grandparents but YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS believed in The Dream, enough to make sure WE (you and me sitting right here reading this) lived a life NOT SEPARATED. NOT closed off from one another. NOT in fear, anger and hatred for others just because of our skin tone. I am so very PROUD that my grandparents thought well enough to move from Arkansas where my mom was born and head on over to California to have a better life for them and future me! Same with my family in Chicago, Georgia, Kansas, Texas, Arizona, Nevada etc. Not too many generations behind me, they knew it would be best for them to leave such small mindedness behind and make a better life and future for all of us.
Your family did the same thing. They choose to leave places and take root somewhere else for their dreams. They raised your parents and your parents raised you to not be so small minded and closed off from people. They taught you to love one another based on character and not color, creed or religion.
Look at your friend's list. You have a rainbow of people from all over as your friends! YOU BROKE THE CYCLE! You continue to do so every single day too! You are nice to people no matter what their background. You are respectful. You care for them. You love them. You teach them through your actions. You kill them with kindness even when they are rude and don't deserve such things. YOU are the living embodiment of King's Dream! YOU MY FRIEND! MY FAMILY! MY PEOPLE!! You further The Dream message with how you raise your kids. You teach them equality and love for all no matter WHO the person is. You teach them just as your parents taught you. YOU FUCKING ROCK THE DREAM!
I am so very very VERY proud (damn it, i'm tearing up now lol) to say my best friends are Hispanic, Japanese, Black, White, gay, straight, fat, skinny, short, tall, smart and even slightly stupid (haha). So very proud to be able to walk down the street head held high and get the respect I deserve and have earned. I am so very proud that every single fucking day, I know somehow, somewhere I silenced a stereotype! You do it too! Whether you know it or not, you do! And you should be just as proud!
It's still a long road ahead of us to make MORE of an impact than we already have. But we are going to keep doing it as long as we keep living and teaching others how to open then eyes, hearts and minds to what is truly right. But I believe with all my being, that we are on the right track! And I am so very fucking proud to be apart of it with you all!
*drops the mic*
Aug 15, 2013
The First Time
You know the feeling you get the first time you hear a song? How it washes over you and can either make you hate it or love it in 30 seconds?
The first time you hear a song, that is the purest feeling you will ever have about that song ever. After that, you might have the same feelings but it won't be as pure as the first time. Your feelings might change. It could become worse or grow on you. No matter what though...it will never feel the same ever again.
The thoughts that came to you while you listened may never happen again. What you related to, during the first listen, might disappear as you go deeper into the song the second time around.
I LOVE that feeling. The first listen for me is as amazing or horrible as any other "first time" experience. The chills up my spine. The hairs raising on my arms. The smile or frown that slowly creeps upon my face. That feeling of, "yes, give me more!" or "what the hell is this?" becomes stronger as the seconds click by. And when some song makes me want it to never end...well forget about it!
You could almost say, I get an insta-crush on music when it touches me, the way only music can.
When my friend introduced me to Tokimonsta "Go With It"...I got the biggest crush I've had in awhile. I instantly felt it caress all over me. It was like taking a first taste of your favorite wine or beer. The warm tingly feeling that arises from your toes to the top of your head! The overwhelming feeling to hug my friend came over me! I had to dive deeper to feed the beast, so to speak. So I looked Tokimonsta up and just had a field day listening to her tracks! I even told him, he created a Toki Monster hehehe I know cheesy but whatever! I was in music heaven :P
Sadly, there is so much garbage being churned out in the music industry, you either have to dig deep and way outside the box to find things of quality, or you go back into your library when music was good and never listen to the radio again. This is why I love NPR Music and my friend for constantly giving me new tunes to feed my soul. Love my dj friends as well who always give great tracks to download and make the days seem much better, no matter what mood I'm in.
I could go on and on about music for hours, maybe even days on end. But I won't bore you all any longer haha I will say though, I saw a twitter account about Sagittarius' that I now follow and it did say this..."ask a Sagittarius about a song they love, and you will learn very much about them." I find this to be true. At least about me that is. Anyone that has ever listened to music with me or gone to a show/concert with me knows, music is pretty much my first love that will never be replaced by any person...not even Thor. And I do LOVE me some Thor! :)
After you watch the video, definitely feel free to ask me what this song/video REALLY made me feel and I will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Here is the official video for the Tokimonsta song!
The first time you hear a song, that is the purest feeling you will ever have about that song ever. After that, you might have the same feelings but it won't be as pure as the first time. Your feelings might change. It could become worse or grow on you. No matter what though...it will never feel the same ever again.
The thoughts that came to you while you listened may never happen again. What you related to, during the first listen, might disappear as you go deeper into the song the second time around.
I LOVE that feeling. The first listen for me is as amazing or horrible as any other "first time" experience. The chills up my spine. The hairs raising on my arms. The smile or frown that slowly creeps upon my face. That feeling of, "yes, give me more!" or "what the hell is this?" becomes stronger as the seconds click by. And when some song makes me want it to never end...well forget about it!
You could almost say, I get an insta-crush on music when it touches me, the way only music can.
When my friend introduced me to Tokimonsta "Go With It"...I got the biggest crush I've had in awhile. I instantly felt it caress all over me. It was like taking a first taste of your favorite wine or beer. The warm tingly feeling that arises from your toes to the top of your head! The overwhelming feeling to hug my friend came over me! I had to dive deeper to feed the beast, so to speak. So I looked Tokimonsta up and just had a field day listening to her tracks! I even told him, he created a Toki Monster hehehe I know cheesy but whatever! I was in music heaven :P
Sadly, there is so much garbage being churned out in the music industry, you either have to dig deep and way outside the box to find things of quality, or you go back into your library when music was good and never listen to the radio again. This is why I love NPR Music and my friend for constantly giving me new tunes to feed my soul. Love my dj friends as well who always give great tracks to download and make the days seem much better, no matter what mood I'm in.
I could go on and on about music for hours, maybe even days on end. But I won't bore you all any longer haha I will say though, I saw a twitter account about Sagittarius' that I now follow and it did say this..."ask a Sagittarius about a song they love, and you will learn very much about them." I find this to be true. At least about me that is. Anyone that has ever listened to music with me or gone to a show/concert with me knows, music is pretty much my first love that will never be replaced by any person...not even Thor. And I do LOVE me some Thor! :)
After you watch the video, definitely feel free to ask me what this song/video REALLY made me feel and I will be more than happy to tell you all about it!
Here is the official video for the Tokimonsta song!
Aug 4, 2013
Cream In My Coffee
So, I was going to write a long detailed post about dating outside of your race/culture. And how society still frowns on it. How I cheer just a wee bit louder when I see an interracial couple together, in love and not caring what others think. My heart skips a beat when I see a white man with a black woman. I get a little giddy at that sight. I'm fascinated when I see someone of Hispanic origin with an Asian partner. No matter what the combo is, I'm always fascinated about how they met, how their families feel about it and how they deal with the potential drama that people just want to bring into their lives.
I could go on about this for hours really. So fucking fascinating! I could talk about my first major crush on a boy at school who was white with freckles even! His name was Kurt LOL Yeah, good times!! I could talk about when i asked my mom how she would feel if i married a white boy. Her answer was simple and well put, "A good man, is a good man, no matter what his race is. As long as he is a good man to you, I don't care what he is." Oh mothers...always giving sage advice that sticks with us forever! Love them!
I could go on and on about people asking me "have you ever dated a black man?" because I guess they noticed my affinity for handsome white guys. And then them being shocked that I have and have no real issues dating black guys, I just don't meet many that I would date lol And then they want me to explain to them what is the differences and why i gravitate towards one and not the other (can you see my eyes rolling?). People want to know the details of my damn dating life for some reason. They don't "get it", whatever that means. Hell, I've done full on discussions with people about the differences. Then they want to know have I dated other cultures and I have to tell them yes, I've dated lots of other cultures and they all have a story of their own. But I don't put those experiences against their whole culture. That would be stupid and ignorant...alas people do it.
I could also talk about how I've been told by many people throughout my life, "you aren't like other black girls." (can you see my eyes roll?) Well, of course I'm not! I'm just ME. There is no one else like me and there never will be. So of course I'm not like other black girls...stop making a big deal about it already. OH and don't get me started on the "I've never been with a black woman before, what's it like?" guys! OH GOOD LAWD!! I always tell them, "Neither have I". Some get it but some don't and that just makes me sad for mankind in general lol Do I want to be someone's "first black woman" experience? Depends on the guy really. The ones that just have that freaky fantasy fetish deal about it, NOPE. The guy who just hasn't met a cool awesome black chick like myself and doesn't really care about it, sure why not. I don't want to be someone's experiment or thesis. No one wants that.
Look...i just talked about all that lol
Love is Love. Like is Like. Lust is Lust. What gets you going, is your own business. My crushes and lust objects have no color lines. My friends have no color lines. What attracts me to a person isn't just whats on the outside. Its definitely about their personality. The color of their skin or background is just another layer of them. Can we compare stories of our families and things, of course we can! I love doing that! Because somewhere there is always a common thread. Do I have high expectations for different cultures? Hhhmm yes, I do. I expect much more from a black man on a different level, than I do a white man. Not to say I don't have high standards for white men either...because I definitely do lol But it's all relative really. No matter who they are, like my mama said, he has to be a good man, period. If he isn't, i don't care how sexy he is, how much money he has or anything else. If he isn't a good man, there is no point in me thinking twice about him.
It would be nice to see, in my lifetime, people stop looking at me funny when I'm out with a white guy or some other guy who isn't black. It would be nice to be treated with respect all the time, when I'm with a black guy. It would be nice to not be judged on appearances, period. Do I think this will happen in my lifetime...probably not. But do I let it get me down and hide from the world the person I'm in love with and whom loves me? Hells no! Like I tell everyone with their own choices, that make them happy...OWN IT! You like it, I love it! Own what you love, like, makes you feel good! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Maybe one day, I will go into a much more detailed post about my preferences. Maybe, I will even do a podcast about it. Who knows. But it's definitely a topic I never get tired of talking/exploring/sharing. The world is full of amazing people, don't be afraid to mix things up.
I could go on about this for hours really. So fucking fascinating! I could talk about my first major crush on a boy at school who was white with freckles even! His name was Kurt LOL Yeah, good times!! I could talk about when i asked my mom how she would feel if i married a white boy. Her answer was simple and well put, "A good man, is a good man, no matter what his race is. As long as he is a good man to you, I don't care what he is." Oh mothers...always giving sage advice that sticks with us forever! Love them!
I could go on and on about people asking me "have you ever dated a black man?" because I guess they noticed my affinity for handsome white guys. And then them being shocked that I have and have no real issues dating black guys, I just don't meet many that I would date lol And then they want me to explain to them what is the differences and why i gravitate towards one and not the other (can you see my eyes rolling?). People want to know the details of my damn dating life for some reason. They don't "get it", whatever that means. Hell, I've done full on discussions with people about the differences. Then they want to know have I dated other cultures and I have to tell them yes, I've dated lots of other cultures and they all have a story of their own. But I don't put those experiences against their whole culture. That would be stupid and ignorant...alas people do it.
I could also talk about how I've been told by many people throughout my life, "you aren't like other black girls." (can you see my eyes roll?) Well, of course I'm not! I'm just ME. There is no one else like me and there never will be. So of course I'm not like other black girls...stop making a big deal about it already. OH and don't get me started on the "I've never been with a black woman before, what's it like?" guys! OH GOOD LAWD!! I always tell them, "Neither have I". Some get it but some don't and that just makes me sad for mankind in general lol Do I want to be someone's "first black woman" experience? Depends on the guy really. The ones that just have that freaky fantasy fetish deal about it, NOPE. The guy who just hasn't met a cool awesome black chick like myself and doesn't really care about it, sure why not. I don't want to be someone's experiment or thesis. No one wants that.
Look...i just talked about all that lol
Love is Love. Like is Like. Lust is Lust. What gets you going, is your own business. My crushes and lust objects have no color lines. My friends have no color lines. What attracts me to a person isn't just whats on the outside. Its definitely about their personality. The color of their skin or background is just another layer of them. Can we compare stories of our families and things, of course we can! I love doing that! Because somewhere there is always a common thread. Do I have high expectations for different cultures? Hhhmm yes, I do. I expect much more from a black man on a different level, than I do a white man. Not to say I don't have high standards for white men either...because I definitely do lol But it's all relative really. No matter who they are, like my mama said, he has to be a good man, period. If he isn't, i don't care how sexy he is, how much money he has or anything else. If he isn't a good man, there is no point in me thinking twice about him.
It would be nice to see, in my lifetime, people stop looking at me funny when I'm out with a white guy or some other guy who isn't black. It would be nice to be treated with respect all the time, when I'm with a black guy. It would be nice to not be judged on appearances, period. Do I think this will happen in my lifetime...probably not. But do I let it get me down and hide from the world the person I'm in love with and whom loves me? Hells no! Like I tell everyone with their own choices, that make them happy...OWN IT! You like it, I love it! Own what you love, like, makes you feel good! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Maybe one day, I will go into a much more detailed post about my preferences. Maybe, I will even do a podcast about it. Who knows. But it's definitely a topic I never get tired of talking/exploring/sharing. The world is full of amazing people, don't be afraid to mix things up.
Jul 9, 2013
Random Razz Thoughts 1
These are seriously random thoughts that have been in my head the past few days that are too numerous to post on FB without annoying my friends and too long for Twitter. So here they are...enjoy!
(this might become a regular feature if the response is good)
- I want to have an old school summer party, in someone's backyard! Like how we use to do in the 70s and 80s! Invite all your friends, bring clothes you don't care about getting wet. Pull out the water balloons, super soakers, slip n' slide! Also need Kool-Aid, Watermelon, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers! Now since we are adults we gotta have the alcohol too! And an old school boombox to blast the tunes like Summer Time! I'm serious...this needs to happen! And don't forget the weird sprinkler sprayer and water hose!!
- Have any of you ladies ever had a "good boob day"??? I know good hair days exists but what about good boob days??? I think i had one the other day. The twins looked awesome in everything! I was so proud of them lol I've heard of guys having a "good dick day", so I would assume this ideal can apply to boobs too. In fact, i'm calling it...Women can have Good Boob Days! BOOM!
- Sometimes I don't know how to stop flirting with someone. And I feel stupid when I do it at times because I know I don't have to do it anymore (they are already hooked lol) But it just happens! HOW DO I TURN ALL THIS (AWESOMENESS) OFF??!!!
- Soulmates. Do you believe in them?? I'm not sure if I do in the romantical sense. I believe in soulmates when it comes to my best friends and family I'm really close too though. I think they are the people who come into our lives to make us better people along our path. Enrich our souls. We help one another and make things better when it gets really rough. Constant support system. Sometimes these people mean more to you than your actual family. You would sacrifice for them if you needed to, without a question. Yeah...i have some soulmates, they are badass awesome too. As for the romantic/lovey soulmates...not sure I've had one of those yet. And really, it's not all that necessary i think. Mainly because I want my significant other to also be my best friend and if he is to that level of best friendness that I believe to by my soulmate then he already has achieved that goal. I get a little weird when people say "she/he is my soulmate". Maybe i'm skeptical in that field of thought just because most people who say that, have only known the person for 2 months or less lol
- Robin Thicke. MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM
- What do you do with underwear that doesn't fit right and you can't return it??? If someone has any suggestions, please let me know! I was thinking of giving them to GoodWill but is that allowed??? They are brand new so it should be ok right?? I don't know lol
- That Icona Pop song "I Don't Care" always puts me in a good mood! And NOW Robin Thicke did a sexy version of it! I got preggers watching the video. That's why I'm sharing it with you!
http://youtu.be/0xvZtSEgGyk
That's all for now folks! Do you want to see these kinds of posts again?? Let me know in the comments or message me! Thanx for reading!!!
(this might become a regular feature if the response is good)
- I want to have an old school summer party, in someone's backyard! Like how we use to do in the 70s and 80s! Invite all your friends, bring clothes you don't care about getting wet. Pull out the water balloons, super soakers, slip n' slide! Also need Kool-Aid, Watermelon, Hot Dogs and Hamburgers! Now since we are adults we gotta have the alcohol too! And an old school boombox to blast the tunes like Summer Time! I'm serious...this needs to happen! And don't forget the weird sprinkler sprayer and water hose!!
- Have any of you ladies ever had a "good boob day"??? I know good hair days exists but what about good boob days??? I think i had one the other day. The twins looked awesome in everything! I was so proud of them lol I've heard of guys having a "good dick day", so I would assume this ideal can apply to boobs too. In fact, i'm calling it...Women can have Good Boob Days! BOOM!
- Sometimes I don't know how to stop flirting with someone. And I feel stupid when I do it at times because I know I don't have to do it anymore (they are already hooked lol) But it just happens! HOW DO I TURN ALL THIS (AWESOMENESS) OFF??!!!
- Soulmates. Do you believe in them?? I'm not sure if I do in the romantical sense. I believe in soulmates when it comes to my best friends and family I'm really close too though. I think they are the people who come into our lives to make us better people along our path. Enrich our souls. We help one another and make things better when it gets really rough. Constant support system. Sometimes these people mean more to you than your actual family. You would sacrifice for them if you needed to, without a question. Yeah...i have some soulmates, they are badass awesome too. As for the romantic/lovey soulmates...not sure I've had one of those yet. And really, it's not all that necessary i think. Mainly because I want my significant other to also be my best friend and if he is to that level of best friendness that I believe to by my soulmate then he already has achieved that goal. I get a little weird when people say "she/he is my soulmate". Maybe i'm skeptical in that field of thought just because most people who say that, have only known the person for 2 months or less lol
- Robin Thicke. MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM
- What do you do with underwear that doesn't fit right and you can't return it??? If someone has any suggestions, please let me know! I was thinking of giving them to GoodWill but is that allowed??? They are brand new so it should be ok right?? I don't know lol
- That Icona Pop song "I Don't Care" always puts me in a good mood! And NOW Robin Thicke did a sexy version of it! I got preggers watching the video. That's why I'm sharing it with you!
http://youtu.be/0xvZtSEgGyk
That's all for now folks! Do you want to see these kinds of posts again?? Let me know in the comments or message me! Thanx for reading!!!
Jun 6, 2013
The Strong and The Good
Being the caring person that I am, when my friends and family start to go through things I can sometimes take on their feelings. Most times because I've been in that same situation. I'm not just sympathetic but empathetic. Which if you know and understand the difference, then you know empathy can bring up a host of feelings and emotions...resolved and unresolved. And if you are a thinker, then you know you will think about these things, analyze and try to understand the "why" of it all.
Some things are happening to good, strong people in my life right now. So, I started to wonder, why do bad/scary things happen to these good people?? Why do the good suffer? Without going too deep into this train of thought...there are tons of conversations I've had involving this thinking and it's always fun but really long and drawn out...I'm not in the mood for that right now haha
The quickest explanation I could come up with was this...
Bad things happen to good people to show their strength and be an inspiration to those around them.
Many things have happened to me in my short lifetime and I consider myself a pretty good person overall. Each thing has put me out there for others to see, witness and judge. Each situation has allowed me to not only learn and become stronger in my personal beliefs but also be a beacon of inspiration and courage to others who may not be as prepared when these things happen to them. I have been able to comfort and help those who are going through events and need support. I have been able to be there for them deeply when they thought they were all alone. I have been able to be that voice of optimism and reason. Without my experiences I wouldn't be able to be so supportive.
Some people go through things and crumble under the pressure. Never learning from their mistakes. Never being able to rise above the darkness. While others take those experiences, no matter how brutal they are and use it to become stronger in their own lives as well as inspire others. Even if someone doesn't come out alive from their situation...a good, strong person who fought till the bitter end is still an inspiration, long after they are gone. Their memory will hold strong in the hearts of those who loved them. Likewise, the person who keeps getting knocked down...struggles seem to keep coming their way...life just deals them shitty cards all at once...YET they still keep pushing forward, rising above and finding the courage to keep smiling and loving life...those people are constant reminders of strength, courage, heart and goodness. They keep inspiring no matter where they are or what is going on around them. They might not even know it, but they are someone's beacon of light and hope.
So I guess my point in all of this is, yeah, life can suck ass so much. Bad things happen to good people daily. But it's how that person handles the situation, is what counts most. They may not keep pushing forward for anyone else but themselves but they should know, in some way they are inspiring and helping someone else realize their courage as well. When bad things happen, our true selves show through. Keep your head up and know there is always someone out there ready to be your beacon of light if you can't summon your own.
Inspired by my dear friend Mo...a very wicked cool, inspiring and good guy!
Some things are happening to good, strong people in my life right now. So, I started to wonder, why do bad/scary things happen to these good people?? Why do the good suffer? Without going too deep into this train of thought...there are tons of conversations I've had involving this thinking and it's always fun but really long and drawn out...I'm not in the mood for that right now haha
The quickest explanation I could come up with was this...
Bad things happen to good people to show their strength and be an inspiration to those around them.
Many things have happened to me in my short lifetime and I consider myself a pretty good person overall. Each thing has put me out there for others to see, witness and judge. Each situation has allowed me to not only learn and become stronger in my personal beliefs but also be a beacon of inspiration and courage to others who may not be as prepared when these things happen to them. I have been able to comfort and help those who are going through events and need support. I have been able to be there for them deeply when they thought they were all alone. I have been able to be that voice of optimism and reason. Without my experiences I wouldn't be able to be so supportive.
Some people go through things and crumble under the pressure. Never learning from their mistakes. Never being able to rise above the darkness. While others take those experiences, no matter how brutal they are and use it to become stronger in their own lives as well as inspire others. Even if someone doesn't come out alive from their situation...a good, strong person who fought till the bitter end is still an inspiration, long after they are gone. Their memory will hold strong in the hearts of those who loved them. Likewise, the person who keeps getting knocked down...struggles seem to keep coming their way...life just deals them shitty cards all at once...YET they still keep pushing forward, rising above and finding the courage to keep smiling and loving life...those people are constant reminders of strength, courage, heart and goodness. They keep inspiring no matter where they are or what is going on around them. They might not even know it, but they are someone's beacon of light and hope.
So I guess my point in all of this is, yeah, life can suck ass so much. Bad things happen to good people daily. But it's how that person handles the situation, is what counts most. They may not keep pushing forward for anyone else but themselves but they should know, in some way they are inspiring and helping someone else realize their courage as well. When bad things happen, our true selves show through. Keep your head up and know there is always someone out there ready to be your beacon of light if you can't summon your own.
Inspired by my dear friend Mo...a very wicked cool, inspiring and good guy!
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