Who do you know starts an intense 30 day workout challenge while they are on vacay in Vegas?
Yep.
Sometimes it just takes the right motivation. I know what motivates me and it ain't to look good for summer or bla bla bla. It's cause i need to control something. There is so much i can't control in my life. So many people who expect things from me on a daily basis. I can't control how these people act or how they treat me. What i can control is how i act and am treated.
I don't gym. I don't gym. I. Don't. Gym. So many people are hitting the gym and being insanely hardcore and determined. I give them props. Enjoy yourself! Feel the burn! Keep up the grind! All the before and after pics are nice. They don't inspire me though. I don't think "man i want to look like that" and bust out the weights or go running. Nope. I'm insanely stubborn and content. I get bored easily with just about any routine. Having a trainer doesn't really do much for me either. I don't take to someone yelling at me at all. I have challenged trainers on keeping me motivated and many can't. Either they just didn't listen to me when i said what WOULD keep me motivated or they didn't care.
Food motivates me. Food, alcohol and attractive men. I'm a simple kind of girl lol No of course there is more that could motivate me but those 3 will keep me intrigued longer than "just think you could be 20lbs lighter and tighter in 30 days!" So what motivated me this time?? A fun and attractive man of course! Totally random dude, posting pics all over twitterverse and i caught sight of him and decided to follow him. He followed me back. We chatted a bit and then i got the invite on FB from him. Joined his page and boom...i'm working out.
People say they workout to feel better about themselves. To look better naked. And all these other reasons. I am actually pretty damn content with my body. I have accepted my rolls and jiggly parts. I've accepted my curves and dimples as well. I've accepted that i love food, period. And i would much rather have a personal chef than a personal trainer. I keep active in so many other ways so thankfully my metabolism hasn't died down just yet. I'm still really flexible and i don't pass out after doing one flight of stairs. I know what looks good on me, i know how to carry my weight. I know how to keep it in check. I know when i've gained a few pounds and when i've lost a few inches almost instantly. I know when i'm stress eating and when i'm stress starving.
So why am i working out? Because like i said earlier, i can control this. Will this challenge make me move onto something else after the 30 days is up? Maybe. I don't know. Haven't really thought about it. And i kind of don't care either way. In some small way i hope it ultimately gets me back in the water. I love swimming. I miss not having the time to do it. This 30 day deal might give me that little nudge i need to do it. Even if it's just for a few times a month, i'm there. Now THAT is a workout i could never get tired of. Maybe my hot workout guy will keep me motivated enough to keep on the grind. We shall see.
Either way...if you workout, bravo to you! If you don't and you're fine with your lifestyle choices, bravo to you too! It's your life. Do what you want. For the next 23 days though, imma grind and sweat and get ready for the next adventure. And keep drooling over this delicious man of a specimen so i stay motivated lol
Apr 29, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
Hover Board
Alright. So apparently, people or more so, over protective parents are getting all up in arms about kids playing by themselves, walking home in groups or alone from school and roaming the malls alone. (You can read all about it here from NPR Kid's Solo Time) They are calling it "Free Range Parenting". They are saying it's showing "neglectful parenting". Because you know, a 10 year old
girl walking home alone in a decent area is just horrible and hurtful to this child. Heaven forbid her parents can't pick her up from school every day and make sure she gets home safely (which is barely 3 blocks away) without having to use these limbs and cultivate an independant spirit of self responsibility. Oh no...we can't have responsible, strong children doing things for themselves. What are we, hippies?!
I grew up in the 80s. I am apart of Generation X. My parents are Baby Boomers who are still spunky as ever. I just missed the awesome music era that was the 60s and 70s but thankfully the 80s didn't disappoint too much. My mother was a single mother after my father did unsavory things causing my mom to divorce him. Thankfully i had amazing grandparents on both sides that loved me and my mother to make sure we had what we needed to keep moving forward and making a life for ourselves. My mom worked hard every day to make sure i had food, shelter, clothes, laughter and love in my life as a child. I never wanted for anything. What she couldn't get me, my grandparents (mother's parents) made sure i was spoiled and a happy little camper. I never felt unloved, unwanted, neglected, pushed aside etc.
When we moved closer to my elementary school and i was able to walk, function and microwave dinners for myself, mom showed me how to walk home. I want to say i was in the 4th grade at this point. I actually started walking home in 3rd grade but that was only with my uncle who lived a few blocks away and would walk me home most afternoons. If i remember correctly, there was a group of us that walked home together. My house was the farthest but my bestfriend lived around the corner so when we hit the block where we went our separate ways, we would hug goodbye and run home down our perspective blocks. Her mother would most likely be home and once i got in, i would call her to let her know i got home. If i didn't call her, i would call my grandmother. Either way, someone was called and knew i was home safely. Which means, i had my own keys to my house. This also meant that people of the neighborhood knew young kids were walking home and would watch out for us. This is what happens when you live in an area with schools. Or at least it what use to happen. I
remember the guy with the big German Shepard dog who lived 2 houses from me. Him and his wife were very nice and always let me pet their dog and told me to get my homework done before mom got home haha I remember the 8th graders that lived down my block too. Some of them were fun and nice. They acted like they didn't look out for us little ones but i knew they did. Especially when they had to walk in the morning and saw us scurrying through the gates.
Ever since then, MOST of my school life involved me walking and taking public transportation to and from school...no matter where it was. And for those who don't know me, i went to school mostly in Los Angeles, CA. So not every place we lived was the "safest" or like these areas that many of these parents live where all the houses look the same. No suburbia lifestyle for me. I've lived down the street from a 7-11 where the homeless guys hangout. I've lived in really nice areas too where nobody has bars on their windows and everybody knows me and makes sure there are no seedy characters hanging around. Thankfully, thanks to my wonderful mom and brothers who taught me how to protect myself as well as how to just use common sense when going to certain areas, nothing has happened to me to the point of complete and utter damage to my life and mental status. Sure...nobody likes being whistled at nor followed by a creeper but if you are taught from the start how to deal with these things, you can handle it as best as you can and usually be just fine.
To this day i still use public transportation and walk on a regular basis. Yes, at times it gets scary and I'm paranoid anyways so that doesn't help lol But i survive! And i will keep surviving. I am insanely independant because of this one thing my mom taught me. I am aware of the world around me because of these things. I know how to handle myself in public because of these things. I am a woman who knows not to be caught alone in dark corners and parking structures NOT because i read it in some article on safety but because WHO DOES THAT?! Seriously...stop being available for drama!
There was no way my mother could have been a "helicopter mom" and still put food and shelter over us. She had to work. Just like I had to go to school. Nobody WANTED me to be a "latch key kid" which is what you called us who walked home back in the 70s and 80s. In a perfect world, i would've been driven to school and picked up every single day, and not a worry in the world about creepers and crossing streets and where the police station was in proximity to my school and home.
But we don't live in a perfect world. And trying to shelter your child from this till they are at the very least 15 years old is ridiculous and going to drive both of you crazy! Also, it builds really weak and fearful children who become paranoid and annoying adults that nobody wants to deal with. They won't learn self responsibility nor independence nor how to survive. I have no shame saying, i learned how to pee in a bush because i walked home one day from high school and didn't use the bathroom before i left and the bus ran late and i just couldn't hold it any longer! I also learned what bushes were poison ivy...thank you Girl Scouts...so i didn't pee in those bushes and have a bigger problem! I learned what neighbors really cared about kids and our well being. I also learned not every nice old lady or man is "nice" and you can suspsect everyone...and in some cases you should. In that same instance, i learned that not every thug looking dude wants to do a young girl harm and will look out for you when the asshat ones want to bother you on your block.
We have so many different things these days to keep kids safe. Technology alone is a huge part of it! I didn't have a cell phone, tablet, or alert bracelet! I had an ID Bracelet and barely a pager! There was no GPS on me...EVER. I was suppose to be home at a certain time and if i wasn't i would have about 20 people looking for me a minute after i was suppose to check in. THAT is what is missing these days. You can helicopter all you want. But if you don't let your child venture out with the knowledge and awareness YOU were raised with on how to function in the real world, you are going to have children who can't function without you. So what will happen when you are gone? Or when you can't pick them up? Do you have a backup plan? Do your kids KNOW your backup plan? They aren't stupid little people who can't understand logic and reason. Talk to them. Teach them. Show them.
Don't hover and smother them.
No...i don't have kids. Will i ever? Who knows. I'm not planning on any of that. So you can take all i've said how you want. Just know...there are lots of us who don't have kids and didn't have helicopter parents and we are the ones changing the world on a daily basis. We came out (most of us) pretty damn awesome.
girl walking home alone in a decent area is just horrible and hurtful to this child. Heaven forbid her parents can't pick her up from school every day and make sure she gets home safely (which is barely 3 blocks away) without having to use these limbs and cultivate an independant spirit of self responsibility. Oh no...we can't have responsible, strong children doing things for themselves. What are we, hippies?!
I grew up in the 80s. I am apart of Generation X. My parents are Baby Boomers who are still spunky as ever. I just missed the awesome music era that was the 60s and 70s but thankfully the 80s didn't disappoint too much. My mother was a single mother after my father did unsavory things causing my mom to divorce him. Thankfully i had amazing grandparents on both sides that loved me and my mother to make sure we had what we needed to keep moving forward and making a life for ourselves. My mom worked hard every day to make sure i had food, shelter, clothes, laughter and love in my life as a child. I never wanted for anything. What she couldn't get me, my grandparents (mother's parents) made sure i was spoiled and a happy little camper. I never felt unloved, unwanted, neglected, pushed aside etc.
When we moved closer to my elementary school and i was able to walk, function and microwave dinners for myself, mom showed me how to walk home. I want to say i was in the 4th grade at this point. I actually started walking home in 3rd grade but that was only with my uncle who lived a few blocks away and would walk me home most afternoons. If i remember correctly, there was a group of us that walked home together. My house was the farthest but my bestfriend lived around the corner so when we hit the block where we went our separate ways, we would hug goodbye and run home down our perspective blocks. Her mother would most likely be home and once i got in, i would call her to let her know i got home. If i didn't call her, i would call my grandmother. Either way, someone was called and knew i was home safely. Which means, i had my own keys to my house. This also meant that people of the neighborhood knew young kids were walking home and would watch out for us. This is what happens when you live in an area with schools. Or at least it what use to happen. I
remember the guy with the big German Shepard dog who lived 2 houses from me. Him and his wife were very nice and always let me pet their dog and told me to get my homework done before mom got home haha I remember the 8th graders that lived down my block too. Some of them were fun and nice. They acted like they didn't look out for us little ones but i knew they did. Especially when they had to walk in the morning and saw us scurrying through the gates.
Ever since then, MOST of my school life involved me walking and taking public transportation to and from school...no matter where it was. And for those who don't know me, i went to school mostly in Los Angeles, CA. So not every place we lived was the "safest" or like these areas that many of these parents live where all the houses look the same. No suburbia lifestyle for me. I've lived down the street from a 7-11 where the homeless guys hangout. I've lived in really nice areas too where nobody has bars on their windows and everybody knows me and makes sure there are no seedy characters hanging around. Thankfully, thanks to my wonderful mom and brothers who taught me how to protect myself as well as how to just use common sense when going to certain areas, nothing has happened to me to the point of complete and utter damage to my life and mental status. Sure...nobody likes being whistled at nor followed by a creeper but if you are taught from the start how to deal with these things, you can handle it as best as you can and usually be just fine.
To this day i still use public transportation and walk on a regular basis. Yes, at times it gets scary and I'm paranoid anyways so that doesn't help lol But i survive! And i will keep surviving. I am insanely independant because of this one thing my mom taught me. I am aware of the world around me because of these things. I know how to handle myself in public because of these things. I am a woman who knows not to be caught alone in dark corners and parking structures NOT because i read it in some article on safety but because WHO DOES THAT?! Seriously...stop being available for drama!
There was no way my mother could have been a "helicopter mom" and still put food and shelter over us. She had to work. Just like I had to go to school. Nobody WANTED me to be a "latch key kid" which is what you called us who walked home back in the 70s and 80s. In a perfect world, i would've been driven to school and picked up every single day, and not a worry in the world about creepers and crossing streets and where the police station was in proximity to my school and home.
But we don't live in a perfect world. And trying to shelter your child from this till they are at the very least 15 years old is ridiculous and going to drive both of you crazy! Also, it builds really weak and fearful children who become paranoid and annoying adults that nobody wants to deal with. They won't learn self responsibility nor independence nor how to survive. I have no shame saying, i learned how to pee in a bush because i walked home one day from high school and didn't use the bathroom before i left and the bus ran late and i just couldn't hold it any longer! I also learned what bushes were poison ivy...thank you Girl Scouts...so i didn't pee in those bushes and have a bigger problem! I learned what neighbors really cared about kids and our well being. I also learned not every nice old lady or man is "nice" and you can suspsect everyone...and in some cases you should. In that same instance, i learned that not every thug looking dude wants to do a young girl harm and will look out for you when the asshat ones want to bother you on your block.
We have so many different things these days to keep kids safe. Technology alone is a huge part of it! I didn't have a cell phone, tablet, or alert bracelet! I had an ID Bracelet and barely a pager! There was no GPS on me...EVER. I was suppose to be home at a certain time and if i wasn't i would have about 20 people looking for me a minute after i was suppose to check in. THAT is what is missing these days. You can helicopter all you want. But if you don't let your child venture out with the knowledge and awareness YOU were raised with on how to function in the real world, you are going to have children who can't function without you. So what will happen when you are gone? Or when you can't pick them up? Do you have a backup plan? Do your kids KNOW your backup plan? They aren't stupid little people who can't understand logic and reason. Talk to them. Teach them. Show them.
Don't hover and smother them.
No...i don't have kids. Will i ever? Who knows. I'm not planning on any of that. So you can take all i've said how you want. Just know...there are lots of us who don't have kids and didn't have helicopter parents and we are the ones changing the world on a daily basis. We came out (most of us) pretty damn awesome.
Feb 10, 2015
Lose the Anchor
You know that person (or people) you keep begging to hangout with? Or in some cases just "catch up" with. The person you are always texting, facebooking, twittering, instagraming, etc. to try and get their attention. The person you want to just have a solid 30mins with to keep the bond of friendship (or whatever relationship you have with them) going and make stronger. The person you keep extending an olive branch too just to have it hanging there, slowly dying, like your hope to be in their presence again. That person who keeps absorbing your mental time.
Yeah, that person. Fuck that person. And i say that with love and respect to them and your relationship with them but seriously, fuck that person.
I can say that because duh yeah i've been there. I am sort of there right now actually. And it's taken some deep thinking and looking at the bigger picture to realize, that i am carrying more than half of this friendship. No matter how long we've been friends. No matter what we have done together in the past and present. No matter how deep our feelings for one another might be. There is no reason to be carrying more than my fair share of the friendship.
Now before people start moaning and groaning about "special circumstances and situations" let's get some perspective. We have all heard it said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. If someone wants to talk to you, be with you, all of that stuff, they will make an effort to do so. And I myself have said this repeatedly. Yes, there are special circumstances and situations, i agree. Sometimes, distance, time, work, life etc. gets in the way, yes. But really...nobody is so absorbed in their life that they can't show some sign of recognition of your friendship and wanting to continue on with it. There doesn't need to be some giant declaration of love and what not, nope. Just a simple text or hell, a "like" on FB can cure most doubts of "do they even know i still exist" out of most people's heads. Because we want to be assured we are still on people's radars. Especially, when they are heavily on our own radar. We want to know that they still care. Even in the middle of craziness, knowing your people are still YOUR PEOPLE is what we want when it comes to long lasting relationships.
I am a giver. It's a curse and blessing. I give of myself far too much and far too often to the ones i care about. No matter what is going on in my life, i am always there for them and will give them whatever they need to make them feel better and know that somebody cares. To let them know they will always have someone in their corner...unless they do something super stupid and i have to walk away altogether. But even then, part of me will always be like "damn...what if they really need me...i should give them another shot...maybe...i don't know." It's hard for me to put away a friendship. I cherish my friends deeply. And so i will take on more of the friendship to make sure it lasts, until something happens to shake me up and realize "HEY STUPID! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU CARE ABOUT THEM! SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE!" That's when the "we need to talk" situation happens. The last time i had to do that, gave the person one more shot and they failed again, so i had to walk away. That was over 2 years ago now. And a small part of me still wonders do they miss me...i don't miss them...but do they miss me? Because i was an awesome friend to them, that they didn't deserve clearly. Like i said...blessing and a curse.
Life goes on though. And you will be fine letting that person go. Sometimes we have to walk away from someone for them to see how awesome we are. Sometimes they never see it. And that's fine. You have to realize, not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Though you wish them to be, it's not going to happen. Not everyone deserves to be in your life forever anyways! Could you imagine that? Every person you THOUGHT was meant to be in your life forever actually is? That friend from 2nd grade that always had the best lunches...yeah...do you really need that person in your life forever? If they aren't in your life now...I'm just saying.
It sounds like an asshole, bitch thing to do, but sometimes you gotta be the asshole bitch. You deserve a friend (or whatever your relationship is) that puts in the same effort as you do. No matter who it is. No matter where they are. No matter what they do. Fair is fair. And if you feel like you are doing more than you should to keep the friendship going, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture and make some decisions. You can have a talk with them, be honest about how you feel and go from there. You can't control how people will react but you can control how you act. If they value and respect your friendship, they will be honest with you as well and you can go from there. Sometimes you both know it has to end. Sometimes they realize they have been slacking off as a friend and want to make things right (and will truly do so making your bond even tighter). Sometimes they don't care and you gotta kick them to the curb. Whatever the outcome is, take it in stride. You did what you could to make it work and if it fails, so be it. Not the end of the world. Besides, when you release an anchor of a person from your life, it literally helps you become more open to meeting and making new friends. There are MILLIONS of people out there. Not all of them are keepers. But the ones that are, are looking for you, just like you are looking for them. Stop letting someone weigh you down and carry a heavy load. Fuck that person. You're awesome and you will continue to be awesome without them.
Yeah, that person. Fuck that person. And i say that with love and respect to them and your relationship with them but seriously, fuck that person.
I can say that because duh yeah i've been there. I am sort of there right now actually. And it's taken some deep thinking and looking at the bigger picture to realize, that i am carrying more than half of this friendship. No matter how long we've been friends. No matter what we have done together in the past and present. No matter how deep our feelings for one another might be. There is no reason to be carrying more than my fair share of the friendship.
Now before people start moaning and groaning about "special circumstances and situations" let's get some perspective. We have all heard it said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. If someone wants to talk to you, be with you, all of that stuff, they will make an effort to do so. And I myself have said this repeatedly. Yes, there are special circumstances and situations, i agree. Sometimes, distance, time, work, life etc. gets in the way, yes. But really...nobody is so absorbed in their life that they can't show some sign of recognition of your friendship and wanting to continue on with it. There doesn't need to be some giant declaration of love and what not, nope. Just a simple text or hell, a "like" on FB can cure most doubts of "do they even know i still exist" out of most people's heads. Because we want to be assured we are still on people's radars. Especially, when they are heavily on our own radar. We want to know that they still care. Even in the middle of craziness, knowing your people are still YOUR PEOPLE is what we want when it comes to long lasting relationships.
I am a giver. It's a curse and blessing. I give of myself far too much and far too often to the ones i care about. No matter what is going on in my life, i am always there for them and will give them whatever they need to make them feel better and know that somebody cares. To let them know they will always have someone in their corner...unless they do something super stupid and i have to walk away altogether. But even then, part of me will always be like "damn...what if they really need me...i should give them another shot...maybe...i don't know." It's hard for me to put away a friendship. I cherish my friends deeply. And so i will take on more of the friendship to make sure it lasts, until something happens to shake me up and realize "HEY STUPID! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU CARE ABOUT THEM! SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE!" That's when the "we need to talk" situation happens. The last time i had to do that, gave the person one more shot and they failed again, so i had to walk away. That was over 2 years ago now. And a small part of me still wonders do they miss me...i don't miss them...but do they miss me? Because i was an awesome friend to them, that they didn't deserve clearly. Like i said...blessing and a curse.
Life goes on though. And you will be fine letting that person go. Sometimes we have to walk away from someone for them to see how awesome we are. Sometimes they never see it. And that's fine. You have to realize, not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Though you wish them to be, it's not going to happen. Not everyone deserves to be in your life forever anyways! Could you imagine that? Every person you THOUGHT was meant to be in your life forever actually is? That friend from 2nd grade that always had the best lunches...yeah...do you really need that person in your life forever? If they aren't in your life now...I'm just saying.
It sounds like an asshole, bitch thing to do, but sometimes you gotta be the asshole bitch. You deserve a friend (or whatever your relationship is) that puts in the same effort as you do. No matter who it is. No matter where they are. No matter what they do. Fair is fair. And if you feel like you are doing more than you should to keep the friendship going, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture and make some decisions. You can have a talk with them, be honest about how you feel and go from there. You can't control how people will react but you can control how you act. If they value and respect your friendship, they will be honest with you as well and you can go from there. Sometimes you both know it has to end. Sometimes they realize they have been slacking off as a friend and want to make things right (and will truly do so making your bond even tighter). Sometimes they don't care and you gotta kick them to the curb. Whatever the outcome is, take it in stride. You did what you could to make it work and if it fails, so be it. Not the end of the world. Besides, when you release an anchor of a person from your life, it literally helps you become more open to meeting and making new friends. There are MILLIONS of people out there. Not all of them are keepers. But the ones that are, are looking for you, just like you are looking for them. Stop letting someone weigh you down and carry a heavy load. Fuck that person. You're awesome and you will continue to be awesome without them.
Jan 24, 2015
Stories
I've been MIA clearly. Sorry...kinda forgot about this place as life decided to take all of my attention for the last few months of 2014. In some regards i am complaining. But overall i'm not. I lived and had a great time doing so. I've been thinking about that actually all morning. How i lived the end of 2014, even with some painful events happening i still lived. A friend posted something to my wall today and it reminded me of my roots as a writer.
I am a story teller. I am a story maker. I live to make memories that become stories. I am a story giver. I am a story lover. I pass on stories from others. I pass on stories from my own life experiences in hopes it helps someone else not make the same stupid mistakes...OR at least how to get out of them ;)
My stories can be fact or fiction. Poetry or novel. Minutes long or days long. Some stories are meant for a small group of people. Some for the masses. Either way, it's not a story if nobody hears about it. Even if it's just one other person that knows about it, that makes it a story. Experiences become stories and living is an experience. That is what drives me and what my foundation is.
I am smirking while writing this just thinking of all the stories i have for the end of 2014. Some of you know them...some of you don't. Some of you were there, and those are probably some of the best stories MOST of you will never hear lol
Thus far...just a mere 24 days into 2015 and i already have some great stories! Some are tragic and some are awesome. Either way, i'm happy for them. Like i said, living is an experience and experiences become stories. I can proudly say, i've lived some great experiences that make my soul truly happy so far this year. I am planning on making many many more! I am too excited (if there is such a thing) about this year. I know there will be issues and pain, but there will also be glorious and amazing moments as well. Things are changing, moving, shifting. I am living and i really am so thankful to have some of you along for the ride!
All that said...i will be back here more often...hopefully lol If you don't see anything for awhile it's because i'm too busy having experiences BUT i will definitely TRY to share some of the stories :)
Thank you all for your continued reading and supporting! I wish you all great stories!!
I am a story teller. I am a story maker. I live to make memories that become stories. I am a story giver. I am a story lover. I pass on stories from others. I pass on stories from my own life experiences in hopes it helps someone else not make the same stupid mistakes...OR at least how to get out of them ;)
My stories can be fact or fiction. Poetry or novel. Minutes long or days long. Some stories are meant for a small group of people. Some for the masses. Either way, it's not a story if nobody hears about it. Even if it's just one other person that knows about it, that makes it a story. Experiences become stories and living is an experience. That is what drives me and what my foundation is.
I am smirking while writing this just thinking of all the stories i have for the end of 2014. Some of you know them...some of you don't. Some of you were there, and those are probably some of the best stories MOST of you will never hear lol
Thus far...just a mere 24 days into 2015 and i already have some great stories! Some are tragic and some are awesome. Either way, i'm happy for them. Like i said, living is an experience and experiences become stories. I can proudly say, i've lived some great experiences that make my soul truly happy so far this year. I am planning on making many many more! I am too excited (if there is such a thing) about this year. I know there will be issues and pain, but there will also be glorious and amazing moments as well. Things are changing, moving, shifting. I am living and i really am so thankful to have some of you along for the ride!
All that said...i will be back here more often...hopefully lol If you don't see anything for awhile it's because i'm too busy having experiences BUT i will definitely TRY to share some of the stories :)
Thank you all for your continued reading and supporting! I wish you all great stories!!
Oct 23, 2014
Real Girl Code
Maybe I'm not suppose to say this but fuck it. Judge me if you want, I don't care.
Sometimes a woman needs to be a girl. Sometimes she needs to be held by a man she trusts and is able to be herself with, without judgement. Sometimes she needs to be reassured that everything she carries on her shoulders daily is ok. That everything she is struggling with will work itself out. That it's not for nothing. That her fight and strength for all that she wants is worth it. Sometimes she needs to be a girl that needs to be protected from the world and herself. She needs to feel that she is not alone and that she has someone by her side to help her through all these things. Sometimes she needs to cry in the arms of a man. Single or otherwise, it doesn't matter. She needs this physical and emotional protection and support now and then from a man. She knows he can't solve all the issues. A smart woman knows he can't make everything right suddenly and that this hug...holding...comforting will not make life suddenly easy and with no pain. But she still needs to feel and believe that when he says it will be ok, IT WILL BE OK.
Maybe I'm NOT suppose to say these things as a strong independent woman. But at the end of the day, truth is truth. And I believe admitting this, saying this, makes me even stronger. I'm a badass awesome chick. But it doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to believe and pretend that, fuck yeah, sometimes I need to be a girl, protected from the world by a man that I trust. I'm a lot to handle. Why do you think I admire Thor so much? Because that's the kind of man I know can handle me. Did I break Girl Code? Who gives a shit.
Oct 4, 2014
I'd Cook For Him
Lately, I've been talking to my close friends and explaining to them the "I'd cook for them" mentality. It's something i came up with to describe how i feel about someone overall. It came to me while talking to a friend i would definitely cook for, any time.
Think about it. There are those people we encounter, intimately that we either want to see in the morning or want them out 20mins after the deed is done. We make these decisions in our head really fast. Now if we want to see them in the morning, then the relationship on some level progresses. You might become closer and as you learn more about each other you start to realize, you want to see this person for breakfast and dinner...and dessert. So you go out whenever you can and eating, dancing, reading etc. is all great! You truly enjoy the time you spend with this person. BUT THEN ONE DAY IT HITS YOU! You want to do something for this person. Something special and straight from a very good place. You ponder and talk to your friends and think about it do death.
Then it comes to you. You want to cook for them. Let's assume you know how to cook, and if you don't you can totally wing it. (For the record i am a very good cook and baker, so i got dinner and dessert covered no problem!)
I have a handful of people i would cook for. It's not something i do for myself often, let alone others. But if you become someone i adore. Someone i want to see for breakfast and dinner, you probably have become someone I want to cook for. I'm not talking anything super extreme, just something really yummy and shows off some of your skills. Really though it's not about the cooking aspect, it's about showing the person you care about them and maybe even want to take care of them on some level. To feed someone is to nourish them, mind, body and soul. It could take your relationship to the next level, no matter what it is. It could cement what you already have. For the most part, i don't recall someone running away from someone after they cooked for them...again, assuming you know how to cook and don't poison them haha
I like to think of guys i'm attracted to as "yes i'd cook for him or no i wouldn't cook for him". Sure arm candy is nice, don't get me wrong. But someone i want to cook for and snuggle with afterwards is where it's at, for me at least. It definitely shows off a different side of yourself to that person. Who knows, it could go great or it could go horribly wrong. Either way, it's a great gesture...i mean who doesn't love a home cooked meal? Break the rules, open the cooking app and whip something up for that someone you want to cook for. It will be an adventure, neither of you will ever forget :)
Think about it. There are those people we encounter, intimately that we either want to see in the morning or want them out 20mins after the deed is done. We make these decisions in our head really fast. Now if we want to see them in the morning, then the relationship on some level progresses. You might become closer and as you learn more about each other you start to realize, you want to see this person for breakfast and dinner...and dessert. So you go out whenever you can and eating, dancing, reading etc. is all great! You truly enjoy the time you spend with this person. BUT THEN ONE DAY IT HITS YOU! You want to do something for this person. Something special and straight from a very good place. You ponder and talk to your friends and think about it do death.
Then it comes to you. You want to cook for them. Let's assume you know how to cook, and if you don't you can totally wing it. (For the record i am a very good cook and baker, so i got dinner and dessert covered no problem!)
I have a handful of people i would cook for. It's not something i do for myself often, let alone others. But if you become someone i adore. Someone i want to see for breakfast and dinner, you probably have become someone I want to cook for. I'm not talking anything super extreme, just something really yummy and shows off some of your skills. Really though it's not about the cooking aspect, it's about showing the person you care about them and maybe even want to take care of them on some level. To feed someone is to nourish them, mind, body and soul. It could take your relationship to the next level, no matter what it is. It could cement what you already have. For the most part, i don't recall someone running away from someone after they cooked for them...again, assuming you know how to cook and don't poison them haha
I like to think of guys i'm attracted to as "yes i'd cook for him or no i wouldn't cook for him". Sure arm candy is nice, don't get me wrong. But someone i want to cook for and snuggle with afterwards is where it's at, for me at least. It definitely shows off a different side of yourself to that person. Who knows, it could go great or it could go horribly wrong. Either way, it's a great gesture...i mean who doesn't love a home cooked meal? Break the rules, open the cooking app and whip something up for that someone you want to cook for. It will be an adventure, neither of you will ever forget :)
Sep 11, 2014
Can't Forget the Fear
Can't believe it's been this many years since 9/11 happened. It still feels like it was JUST last year. I remember exactly everything about that day. I remember my then boyfriend Al, calling me and telling me to turn on the tv. Then watching it with him, terrified and mind completely blown. I remember begging him to come over and get far far away from LAX where he worked. I remember calling my mom at her job and telling her what was going on. I remember just becoming a zombie glued to the tv for hours upon hours and then days upon days. It was such a long nightmare. I remember hearing lots of military jets flying over us and living in the southbay, that was just not normal at all. I remember talking to my flyboys before they went wheels up and praying with a few of them. I remember waiting for days to hear back from them. I remember everything was just so intense. I remember strangers hugging each other and putting our fists in the air in solidarity. I remember not sleeping or eating all that much. I remember just being frozen in fear, on edge, wondering was LA next. I also remember sobbing when i heard about friends of friends lost and the numbers of people gone climbing higher and higher. I remember holding Al so tight when i finally saw him that day. I remember mom bringing home ice cream and us just trying to stay strong with one another. It just felt like the world had just STOPPED. Not time, not life but the world. Like we weren't spinning anymore, we weren't going forward at all...we were just frozen in this horrific time. And i remember Bush Jr. just not being reassuring at all. I want to say that is when I really started to see what was really going on in our government, in our United States of America. People kept saying we would forever be changed by that and i knew it but it took some time to really FEEL IT. We were changed in so many bad ways. Many of the kids and teens today (and in the future) have no idea what life was like before 9/11. And for me to sit here and think about it, blows my mind, because i know the difference. I lived it. I was 19 years old. I was completely aware of life at that age. And then, it all changed and i had to become completely aware of a new life, a new world.
Honestly, that is when i began to fear the real evils of this world. Because when evil comes crashing through your door...you never forget it. And you are forever changed.
Just as that saying goes...I don't fear any man; it's the devil inside him that i'm afraid of.
Love and blessings to the families that lost loved ones on 9/11. And to all of us that were old enough to be changed by it. Let us not forget how we came together for support and love. Thank you to all the first responders who ran towards the falling towers. You are angels of awesomeness. Thank you to all the fire crews, police officers, troops, uniforms of all kinds for all you did and continue to do since that day. As well as all the regular folks who helped their fellow man during such a crisis. No words can sum up the bitter sweetness that came during and after the events. But know, my heart is full of love and thanks.
Honestly, that is when i began to fear the real evils of this world. Because when evil comes crashing through your door...you never forget it. And you are forever changed.
Just as that saying goes...I don't fear any man; it's the devil inside him that i'm afraid of.
Love and blessings to the families that lost loved ones on 9/11. And to all of us that were old enough to be changed by it. Let us not forget how we came together for support and love. Thank you to all the first responders who ran towards the falling towers. You are angels of awesomeness. Thank you to all the fire crews, police officers, troops, uniforms of all kinds for all you did and continue to do since that day. As well as all the regular folks who helped their fellow man during such a crisis. No words can sum up the bitter sweetness that came during and after the events. But know, my heart is full of love and thanks.
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