iCrave

So everyone did New Years Resolutions and is trying to stick to them, 14 days into the New Year. If you are still sticking with yours, CONGRATS! I'm happy for you! If you have already given up, no worries, you have tons of the year left to better yourself any time you want :) The whole pressure to start a New Year being this or that is hard. I think you can do it anytime, no matter what year it is and still succeed.

That said, I didn't make a resolution until maybe a week ago? Something like that lol I decided I'm going to stop chasing guys...really people in general. Stop putting forth MORE effort in friendships with people who I'm getting not nearly enough in return. I have a habit of being TOO available to many people who don't deserve that much of my time. I have a big heart. I really want to help as many people as i can be happy and feel cared for...even if it's at my own expense. This leads to me being taken for granted and left alone and bitter when I need someone. The giving person usually suffers silently when they have their own problems. We keep it to ourselves because we don't want to be a "burden" to anyone else. But if someone needs us, we are right there with all the love, effort and friendship you need...no matter when it is. This, for me, needs to calm down a bit. Putting others ahead of myself has smothered me and turned me sort of against helping people all together. When i get overwhelmed with helping everyone else, I can't handle my own issues and I just want to shut down and shut out the World. I have to pull back for my own sanity.

I deserve to make myself happy. I deserve to be cared for and about. I HAVE people who will be there for me whenever I need them and I need to utilize that MORE than i do. Because being quiet and keeping it to myself doesn't help anyone...ever. I am only human...a human with a huge heart and soul. But I'm over being abused and taken for granted.

This year I really want MORE EXPERIENCES AND ADVENTURES!! I have to see more of the people i love this year. I have to do that, there is no doubt about that. It's something I NEED to do actually. People always say, "i want to live more". Pft! I live lots, what i want to do is add more LIFE into my LIFE...if that makes any sense lol I want to give espresso shots to my life! Shake everything up and do what i want that makes me happy!

So this year, I guess I am going to be more selfish. I gave a lot of myself in 2013...some by choice and some not by choice. In 2012 i was vastly more selfish but I still didn't get as much done as I would have liked too. So this year I'm taking the best of both and maybe giving a bit more to myself overall. I deserve it! I have earned it! I'm too awesome NOT to give myself everything I want and need. Don't get it twisted though, when i say selfish that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore my friends and family and go on some Lindsay Lohan binge or debauchery lol It means, those of you whom i cherish will get to share these experiences with me MORE and we will have the best memories and times together! But when I need my ME TIME, let me have that please haha

I hope you all continue to have a great, promising and amazing 2014! Don't wait for life to happen! Go grab it by the balls and make it your bitch!